40 Hilarious Tweets That Sum Up Shopping At Publix

Telling me you dislike a Publix chicken tender sub is basically you announcing that you aren’t to be trusted.

— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) November 2, 2017

I just faked an I forgot something moment for more free crab dip at Publix.

— Jamie L. Reeves (@blondemomblog) April 9, 2009

The first thing my grandparents made me do when I got to Florida was take my blood pressure at Publix

— Krystie Lee Yandoli (@KrystieLYandoli) March 1, 2016

If your Friday night didn't involve a trip to Publix and someone falling asleep on the couch early, are you even in your 30's?

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) March 2, 2019

Any other grocery store: Buy your things and go now.

But at Publix: pic.twitter.com/pvWnfWJFNw

— Phoni Stark (@Steph_I_Will) July 29, 2018

*at playground

Me: Let’s go to Publix...

1-year-old: No! NOOO!

Me: ...to get chicken nuggets.

1: *immediately sprints toward car

— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) March 1, 2018

20s: Let’s go to India

30’s: Let’s go for Indian

40’s: Let’s go down the international foods aisle at Publix and get Indian cuisine in a pouch

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) November 18, 2017

Hell is the Publix parking lot in Riverside, Jacksonville, Fl. How anyone survives it is proof of the existence of God.

— Al Letson (@Al_Letson) February 26, 2019

went into publix to buy stuff to make dinner and left with a case of beer and a stomach full of free sample meatballs

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) October 23, 2017

In the summer of ‘85 my bff and I made a pact that no matter where we were or what we were doing, if “Rock the Casbah” is playing you are required to dance.

So I would like to apologize to these strangers here at Publix.

But a pact is a pact.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 2, 2018

I know my Publix like the back of my hand. I make my list based on the aisles. Showed up today and they redid the whole store.

— Blockiana (@ElitatheLibra) August 14, 2016

Wife: We have to stop at Publix.

Me: That's an awfully personal thing to do in a pub.

Wife: ...

Me: ...

Wife: No.

— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) March 20, 2016

I used to work at Publix when I was 16 and I loved nothing more than to blow my $5.75/hr paycheck on Publix bakery cheesecake as soon as I got paid lol

— Arya Shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo (@TrulyTafakari) March 30, 2018

Cant wait to go home to Florida so I can eat a Publix chicken tender sub and make out with an alligator.

— Raya (@RayaVlogs) June 15, 2017

Publix doesn’t get enough credit for letting their absolute horniest intern name their ice creams. pic.twitter.com/CrJSAMlIsp

— Bradford Pearson (@BradfordPearson) March 27, 2019

No crying in public. But you can cry in Publix, the grocery store, that's fine.

— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) April 12, 2016

If you like Walking Dead, you’re going to love the Publix near my house right now.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) February 11, 2014

@Publix please stop putting twizzlers on the endcap at the checkout lines. The flesh is weak OK?!!?!?

— Blockiana (@ElitatheLibra) March 6, 2018

My wedding cake will be a Publix cake

— Brielle Biermann (@BrielleZolciak) August 15, 2018

My definition of real love:

Fam visiting me from Florida and bringing me a Publix sub because Publix doesn’t exist in DC pic.twitter.com/aPXxLA8ypl

— Arya Shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo (@TrulyTafakari) March 28, 2018

Every time I wear my publix sweater out in nyc I meet a stranger from florida and together we reminisce about pubsubs— that’s unity

— angélica (@angelicallamaa) January 16, 2018

Went to publix

Got 5 bottles of wine
And ice cream
And cat food

Hello this is me register lady
I'm sry you had to see this

— Mattie Rogers (@mattie_rogers) May 16, 2017

you know you’re in Florida when 62 is a “cold Christmas” and two dudes in Publix are high-fiving about the wall.

— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) December 22, 2018

If you see me at Publix with food on my jeans, no makeup, messy hair and a baby...

Then you'll know what I look like in person

— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) April 14, 2017

Guy in front of me in Publix bought a 12-pack of Corona and a box of Fruity Pebbles. I kinda want to go to that party.

— Michael DiRocco (@ESPNdirocco) December 15, 2018

This old man in Publix got on a shirt that says “I grow my own food, what’s your superpower?” so I told him I make milk 😂

— Blockiana (@ElitatheLibra) June 17, 2018

Me, defending @Publix against a coworker's critique. "I can see any Publix and know I'm in a safe place."

— Austin Fuller (@AustinFullerNJ) February 28, 2019

I'm pretty tough and rugged until a @Publix holiday commercial comes on.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 19, 2016

To the guys checking out in front of me at Publix buying only 10 bottles of whipped cream and a pack of Camels. What's your secret?

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) December 29, 2013

I get tongue-tied when I'm trying to tell the bagger at Publix I love him. But we've known one another longer than #TheBachelor & Lindsay.

— Angie (@AngieLynchipoo) February 26, 2013

*walk up to publix sub deli*
“Let me guess, whole chicken tender sub?”

Son of a bitch

— Rev. Eric Dunn (@ericvdunn) December 9, 2015

I went to Whole Foods because I’ve been to the same Publix three times in three days and it was feeling weird. But then Whole Foods didn’t have what I needed so I went back to the Publix and hid my face. Catch it next week on Law and Order: Boring Unit.

— Stephanie Hayes (@stephhayes) March 6, 2019

they need a publix at the airport so i can get a sub or chicken tenders before my flights & pick up grocery’s on my way home when i get back

— Brielle Biermann (@BrielleZolciak) October 25, 2017

I literally can't say or read Pubix.
I mean Publix.
Shit.

— Lady E (@cakevans) March 13, 2016

Publix *just* put calorie counts on its online sandwich ordering screen and holy WOW I wish I'd never seen this

— adrian crawford (@Crawf33) November 3, 2016

If you die in Florida you respawn at the nearest Publix

— Pringle (@qpringledev) January 14, 2018

*standing next to old couple in Publix*
Lady: "We've been together 60 years & look how handsome he looks today, mmmm"

Ma'am I'm crying

— Mattie Rogers (@mattie_rogers) June 13, 2017

Made a rookie mistake and went to @Publix hungry so I blew my budget but ya girl be bargain hunting pic.twitter.com/r6NUs9LNdI

— Blockiana (@ElitatheLibra) May 6, 2018

You could almost miss living in Florida when you visit for a few days. Something so enchanting about Spanish moss. And Publix subs 🤣

— Arya Shark, doo doo, doo doo doo doo (@TrulyTafakari) December 26, 2017

the fact that u can get slices of publix cake is so not safe

— Brielle Biermann (@BrielleZolciak) October 22, 2016