40 Hilarious Tweets About Spring Cleaning
It’s officially spring, which means longer days, changing temperatures and, of course, spring cleaning.
While cleaning out your house may seem like a gargantuan task, many funny folks on Twitter have proven that the annual tradition is rife with opportunities for humor.
Below find 40 hilarious tweets about spring cleaning ― and cleaning all year round.
Did a bunch of spring cleaning and now I’m the proud new owner of another box of random cords.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 15, 2018
[cleaning out our bedroom]
Me: Half of this stuff is junk we don't need.
Wife: The other half is mine.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 4, 2018
"Who said your 40s aren't full of magic," I say to myself as I stand in the cleaning aisle swooning over sponges that are in my favorite color.
— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) April 23, 2018
Fantasia gave me unrealistic expectations of how much cleaning a bucket and mop would be motivated to do.
— A Very TheAlexNevil Christmas (@TheAlexNevil) March 29, 2018
*burns down house*
*checks spring cleaning off list*— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) July 5, 2017
Come on in; excuse the mess, as I pretend that I didn’t spend an hour rage-cleaning just to get it to the point where I could pretend THIS is “messy”.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 6, 2018
RT if you’re pumped to do some Spring Cleaning followed by a little Spring “Fuck It, No One Ever Looks In This Closet”-ing.
— The Dad (@thedad) March 16, 2018
Just got done with a deep cleaning of my kitchen so no one will be eating, drinking or even standing in here for the next 10 years.
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) August 18, 2018
After doing some spring cleaning, I now have 3 plastic bins in my house labeled "horse shit" so I'm ready to be on Hoarders like whenever.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 9, 2014
Simplify your spring cleaning by throwing everything out the window.
— Annekinns (@Annekinns) April 1, 2015
I don’t believe in the devil, but after cleaning out the shower drain, I know for certain that evil is real.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) January 28, 2018
Whenever I'm done cleaning the kitchen I sing this really cool song to my family called "no one's allowed in the mother fucking kitchen until tomorrow song."
— Jiffy VVild (@jiffywild) March 1, 2018
I hate cleaning so much that were I to commit murder inside my house, I'd turn myself in just so to avoid cleaning that shit up.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) June 17, 2017
"Do what you're supposed to or no dessert!"
-Me talking myself into cleaning the house— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) March 6, 2017
*rents U-Haul*
Neighbor: I didn’t know you were moving!
Me: Oh, we’re not. Just cleaning underneath our son’s bed.— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) July 22, 2018
CLEANING
[at my own house]
That bread tie could come in handy, keep it
[at someone else's house]
*holds up family heirloom*
So...Toss Pile?— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 26, 2017
Me: *finishes cleaning*
Wife: You missed a spot.
Me: Where?
Wife: *motions to the entire house*— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 4, 2017
I wish I spent as much energy cleaning my house as I do worrying about people unexpectedly stopping by and seeing my dirty house.
— Molly England (@bluebonetbabies) July 25, 2017
I'm cleaning out the basement if anyone needs a mint condition box and user manual for a cordless phone I haven't had in 10 years.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 9, 2018
I was cleaning and accidentally broke a bottle of wine.
I learned my lesson.
It's better to live in filth.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 15, 2017
Spring cleaning: When we throw out family heirlooms, but keep 36 different kinds of tea
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 8, 2018
Did a little spring cleaning today. If anyone's missing a matchbox car, I apologize. Apparently I had every one ever made in my car.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 21, 2014
I’m pretty certain my husband picked a fight with me so that I would start rage cleaning.
— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) May 31, 2018
Sunday is the day I set aside for cleaning the house.
But it seems I’ve missed the last 14 or so Sundays so this may take a minute.— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) September 30, 2018
House cleaning tip:
Mindlessly shove everything in random drawers.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 23, 2017
Anyone who wants to say “Sunday Funday” to me while I’m doing 80 loads of laundry & cleaning mess after mess, I dare you to come at me.
— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) September 16, 2018
Spring cleaning the bullshit out of my life
— ALISON WONDERLAND (@awonderland) May 3, 2018
The trick to spring cleaning is to keep moving things to different rooms until your wife gets tired and gives up.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 8, 2018
As we get deeper into spring, many people will be thinking about spring cleaning/decluttering.
Allow me to share my foolproof method for clothing choices:
Think of the hottest person you know. Would you be happy for them to see you in that garment? If not, donate it.— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) April 28, 2023
Spring cleaning has been rescheduled for Summer. Because I said so.
— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) May 3, 2018
I've been spring cleaning for 15 years.
— The Next Martha (@TheNextMartha) March 23, 2018
When you finish cleaning a room and then remember that your house has like a dozen other rooms pic.twitter.com/IuEUbDGf4V
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 31, 2017
[SPRING CLEANING]
Kid: what’s in this box?
Husband: that’s mom’s degree
Kid: so... garbage pile?
Husband: lol
Kid: lol
Me: lol
My College Professor, somehow: lol— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) March 31, 2018
Cleaning the house after drinking a pitcher of mimosas is a fun way to make simple household tasks more challenging.
*dusts the carpet*— 🎄Sarcastic Mommy🎄 (@sarcasticmommy4) April 8, 2018
Never know what you'll find spring cleaning pic.twitter.com/IAfl8p8Ypp
— kim beans (@KimmyMonte) May 25, 2017
Wife: I know you want to exercise Saturday so I’m taking our son to the Aquarium.
Me: Thanks.
Wife: Probably the best exercise would be cleaning out our storage.— dadpression (@Dadpression) May 22, 2018
5 minutes cleaning.
1 hour playing on the phone.
5 minutes cleaning.
1 hour playing on the phone.
20 minutes speed-clean.
Tell the husband I spent all day cleaning. pic.twitter.com/d16MByTKPY— ☕️Bunny 🐰 Vtuber☕️ (@bunnyontherox) March 12, 2024
The key to spring cleaning is to put your stuff at the top of all the piles so it looks like your are throwing a lot of stuff away.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) April 8, 2018
Told Hubs I was cleaning the garage. Did 5 mins of busy work until he came out to "help." Now I'm watching him clean the garage.
Easy.— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 2, 2017
My version of spring cleaning is moving.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) April 17, 2015
