33 Hilarious Tweets About Microwave Struggles

How to soften butter in the microwave:
1) Microwave for 5 seconds
2) Look at it and say “hmm, still too hard”
3) Microwave for another 2 seconds
4) Enjoy your bowl of liquid butter

— The Dad (@thedad) April 19, 2018

If anyone tells you I'm rude or bitchy, keep in mind that today I apologized to the microwave when I spilled coffee in it.

— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) December 20, 2017

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the bowl of soup I left in the microwave last week

— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) January 12, 2019

If you push the fish button on a microwave it should call the police pic.twitter.com/14lq9gcTg5

— Joe Flacco Played For Pitt (@IAmSpilly) February 7, 2019

I am SICK of cancel culture!!! I’m sick of people being called out ! YES, it was my Progresso Light Chicken & Dumpling soup that exploded in the work microwave! I thought I cleaned all of it up! OBVIOUSLY I missed some spots! I’m not a bad person!!!!!!

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 11, 2019

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and no matter what you cook in there your microwave smells like hotdogs.

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) January 22, 2018

How about a microwave that heats the food instead of the plate?

— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) July 24, 2016

[watching pizza rolls cook in the microwave]

6-year-old: Three... two... one...

Me: There was a one in front of those numbers. There's a minute left.

6: *flops on the floor*

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 21, 2018

Mental state: put a mug of water in the microwave for tea, waited and waited impatiently for it to beep, finally realized I’d never actually entered a time or started it

— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) February 27, 2018

Microwave oatmeal on high for one to two minutes or until you glance away for a nanosecond and it erupts like Mount Vesuvius.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 29, 2018

Oh, so THIS is what melted white chocolate looks like... 😅 #oops #microwavefail #macaroonmaking #firsttry #live&learn pic.twitter.com/Xs7LW53DVC

— Cassandra Joy (@CassJoyMusic) April 5, 2015

When u go to reheat pizza in the microwave and someone’s like NOOOOO U MUST PLACE IN ON FOIL AND SPRINKLE WITH WATER AND PUT IN THE OVEN LOW FOR 20 MINUTES pic.twitter.com/u8Otr1pGhP

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) July 8, 2018

My daughter and I just had a really sweet bonding moment. She asked to help me cook dinner, so I held her up and let her press the microwave buttons.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 19, 2018

Yeah, yeah, Mozart wrote his first symphony at twelve and I'm an old washed-up nothing. But could Mozart do this? *microwaves pizza*

— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) October 14, 2017

Wife: Do you have any regrets?

Me: *remembers the time the microwave broke so I tried to make popcorn in the dryer* No.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 23, 2016

someone sent out an email that there were cupcakes in the break room 45 seconds ago and they are already gone so from now on i’m going to leave a fish in the microwave so they learn to share. go with God, my children.

— kim beans (@KimmyMonte) January 10, 2019

Fun game:
Text your mom on Thanksgiving afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen turkey?"

— Marl (@Marlebean) November 23, 2016

What if you fell in love with someone and discovered they microwave hot drinks when they get cold. Like you're just chillin and then u go "babe ur coffee is cold u haven't touched it" n they go "ah i'll just microwave it" n ur whole world is just rocked. It's sinister

— bolu babalola (@BeeBabs) June 19, 2018

Being a stay at home parent allows me time to ensure my kids get a home cooked meal.

*sets microwave timer for 3 minutes and thirty seconds*

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 18, 2018

And this should summarize my cooking abilities... #microwavedisaster pic.twitter.com/Eg7AHoNEeq

— Laura Hettiger (@LauraKHettiger) March 25, 2015

I once had a diner meal so good I sent my compliments to the microwave.

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) August 24, 2018

My daughter told me I was a real brave man for putting a do not microwave plate into the microwave.

I asked if anything else I do is brave and she answered:

"Lying to mommy about not stealing her Christmas chocolates. Or maybe that was just stupid."

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) January 1, 2018

I Did Not Think I Could Live Without A Microwave But Hey, It's Been Seven Months And I'm Thriving; I Guess 2017 Really *Was* The Year Of Revelation: A Memoir

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) November 26, 2017

So I guess it's not microwaveable safe... Veggies were still good though. #microwavefail pic.twitter.com/CDknqhm

— Marissa Bailey (@MarissaBaileyTV) September 8, 2011

Cook fish sticks for a kid & she'll eat for a day

But TEACH a kid to microwave her own fish stick and, well, she'll start a fish stick fire

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 9, 2015

Listen, frozen meal instructions, never in the history of owning microwaves have I known the wattage of any microwave

— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) August 1, 2018

Archaeologist 1: she must have died suddenly, a mug of tea was still in her microwave
Archaeologist 2: actually we carbon dated the tea and she died a week afterwards

— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) December 29, 2017

“For this showstopper challenge, Jenny will attempt to make a Lean Cuisine, even though she’s already thrown out the box with the microwave instructions.”

— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) December 16, 2017

Signs you have disrupted the space-time continuum: you go to reheat your coffee but it’s already in the microwave. pic.twitter.com/oyNA7kIfRA

— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) November 3, 2018

If you are the type of person who lets their coffee get cold and then warms it up in the microwave, may God have mercy on your soul.

— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) August 31, 2018

Things I 'as learned today...

Don't be tempted to warm cat food in its packet. Not for a second! #Fire #MicrowaveFail #CatFailsOfTwitter pic.twitter.com/ceVYvXRpk7

— Julie Platt (@BettyShmem) April 18, 2017

4-year-old: What’s “saying grace?”

Me: It’s when we thank the one who provided our food.

4-year-old: We thank the microwave?

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 2, 2015

My 21 year old microwave just died and no one makes one in the size I need to replace it and I'm just going to set the house on fire.

— Jenny Lawson (@TheBloggess) June 7, 2017