25 Tweets That Sum Up The Horror Of Kids' Birthday Parties
Kids’ birthday parties mean fun games, creative party favors and (sometimes) total hell for moms and dads.
We turned to the funny parents of Twitter to sum up the struggles many parents have gone through at birthday parties to help fellow moms and dads laugh at all the chaos.
Here, all in good fun, are 25 tweets that sum up kids’ birthday parties:
My kid wants a "bottle flipping" birthday party theme and even Pinterest is stumped.
I'm screwed.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 15, 2017
That Shawshank scene where Andy Dufresne finally reaches freedom, but it's me exiting a kid birthday party.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) August 3, 2017
Thx for handing out fake tattoos at your birthday party so I can see half a paw patrol character on my toddler's forearm for 3 months.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) May 16, 2017
Going to a kiddie birthday party at 10 ayem on a Sunday. Man, listen. #mamalife
— Nicole Blades (@NicoleBlades) June 29, 2014
Our son's birthday party is in 2 days, but my husband and I are super organized so we're getting a head start on arguing about every detail.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) May 26, 2017
If there's life on Mars my kid will find it and invite it to her birthday party.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) May 8, 2017
It's kid 3's first bday, and her party theme is, "Everything here is remnants I kept from the other kids' elaborate celebrations. So sorry."
— Ash (@adult_mom) January 24, 2016
My mom sent a package filled with gifts for my daughter's birthday and it included an effing harmonica.
WHY DOES THE WOMAN TORMENT ME??— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) July 9, 2015
Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 14, 2014
A teardrop tattoo, but for every birthday party I've had to attend at Chuck E Cheese's.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) July 7, 2017
Driving 1.5 hrs home from a kid's party with 5 over-sugared kids & 5 treat-bag kazoos, so I think I know a thing or two about suffering.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 13, 2017
If taking a flask to a kid's birthday party is wrong then that's just too bad.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) June 17, 2017
My son's 8th birthday party was basically a bunch of little boys making fart sounds. Not sure what to put in the memory book.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) April 13, 2015
Ohhh, kids' birthday parties aren't so bad. Nobody flinches if I pee my pants, have a meltdown, or have to go home early for a nap.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) January 21, 2016
I survived my 8yo's party at the pool. Medal please.
— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) July 17, 2017
I'm starting to view every new birthday party invite as a personal attack on my sanity.
— Julie Maida (@NextLifeNOKids) March 19, 2017
There is nothing more anxiety-inducing for a parent than receiving a children's birthday party invitation that doesn't indicate an end time.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) July 9, 2017
I've never seen a ravenous school of piranha devouring an animal carcass but I've been to a kid's birthday party with a piñata. So...
— Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) March 12, 2017
The middle age equivalent of a hangover after a college party is the exhaustion after hosting a 2 hour kids birthday party. #parenting
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini) October 16, 2016
90 percent of parenting is receiving a 40 percent return on your birthday party investment.
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) September 24, 2016
The only thing worse than a kid birthday party is a kid birthday party with no wifi and no cell signal.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) November 23, 2013
So is, "We have a kid's birthday party today, but they'll have beer so it's cool" not something I'm supposed to say out loud?
— Brenna Jennings (@SuburbanSnaps) August 16, 2014
Things that terrify me:
1. Snakes.
2. Heights.
3. Public speaking.
4. Spiders.
5. Being the only adult at a seven year old's birthday party.— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) December 10, 2016
*wife returns home with kids from a 5-hour kid's birthday party
Me: How'd it go?
Wife: *says nothing, goes to fridge, opens beer, walks away— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) January 21, 2017
The biggest sigh of relief you will ever experience as a parent is when the last kid leaves the birthday party.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 16, 2015
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
