15 Funny Tweets For Parents Who Both Love And Hate Kids' Books

I'm at my most Batman when my son asks to read a book for the 10th time that day.

As he turns around to find me, (POOF) I'm gone.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) September 21, 2017

Before kids: My goal is to read a book a week, starting with 1984.
After kids: My goal is to read any book that isn't Goodnight Moon.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 31, 2017

Writing a children's book called "Pick up All of These Fucking Children's Books."

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 22, 2017

Please read this book to me so I can interrupt you 50 times and make you explain every sentence. Also, I’ll need two potty breaks. -kids

— Court (@Discourt) February 26, 2013

I've actually read about 10,000 books in my lifetime if you include the books I just now read to my toddler before bed.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 28, 2017

I know you passively aggressively bought my kids a book that is too big to fit on any bookshelf. I just don't know what I did to deserve it.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 7, 2017

For the first time ever, I read "Fox in Socks" to my daughter without a mistake. Anyone who knows that book also knows how hard that is.

— Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) February 1, 2014

Stickiest things in the world:
3) Lollipops
2) Glue
1) Children's library books

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 19, 2016

[library]
Me: There are many books to read and learn from. Pick one and let’s read it together.
4yo: Ok...This one.
Me: (opens book and realizes how much reading I’ll have to do)
No good, try again.

— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) November 16, 2017

Me: Pick out a book to read.

2yo: Hmmm.

[3 years later]
5yo: This one! This one! No, wait…

[still waiting]

— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) January 7, 2018

The 5 y.o. learned to read; it's bittersweet. While seeing her master a skill is sweet, I'm bitter that she can now tell when I skip pages.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 31, 2017

You know you're truly a parent when you are required to show the pictures in the book you are reading to the stuffed animals in the room.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 7, 2017

Alert for five straight hours. Sit down and start reading a book to my kids: yawn 12 times in a row.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) October 7, 2014

Shortening up long kid books like, "This is the beginning. Some stuff happened. The end. Goodnight, sweetheart!"

— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) October 16, 2017

I never knew how long it took a human to fall asleep until I had kids. In case you're wondering it's 2 hours, 3 cups of water, & 18 books.

— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) May 31, 2016