Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth — When Is It Healthy to Go Back to an Ex?

Is getting back together with an ex healthy? (Photo: Getty Images)

Miley Cyrus has been spotted wearing a diamond ring on that finger recently, and several publications are reporting that she’s engaged to former fiancé Liam Hemsworth again.

Cyrus, 23, posted several photos on Instagram in the past few days, prominently featuring a ring that looks suspiciously like the one Hemsworth, 26, gave her in 2012. (They broke up in 2013.)

“Miley is beyond happy to be engaged to Liam again,” a source tells People. “It might seem sudden, but they have been very close for the past few months.”

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According to the source, the couple wanted to keep things out of the spotlight while they “figured things out,” but they’re both “much more mature” this time around. Cyrus and Hemsworth are reportedly planning to move in together and are figuring out where they’ll be settling down.

But … is getting back together with a serious ex a good idea?

Experts aren’t so sure, especially since Hemsworth and Cyrus had reportedly broken up a few times before they got engaged the first time.

Instagram/Miley Cyrus

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“Frequent breaking up and getting back together is a sign of deeper issues
related to love and relationships for both people involved,” Manhattan-based clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona tells Yahoo Health. “These kinds of issues do not typically resolve themselves and usually tend to cycle and repeat.”

As a result, they can lead to a lot of wasted time, heartache, and emotional roller coasters.

But psychologist Paul Coleman, author of Finding Peace When Your Heart Is in Pieces, tells Yahoo Health that the couple’s two years apart may actually work in their favor. “A lot can happen in two years — a lot of personal growth and overcoming resentments,” he says.

However, their situation is rare. “When there has been a clean break that has continued for many months, it is not that common to reconnect,” Coleman says. “What is more common is the on-again-off-again pattern. That pattern is not associated with long-term success.”

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Coleman says it’s hard to know whether it’s a good idea to reconnect in a situation like this, since it depends on the couple and their motivations. “If there is an honest recognition of what mistakes were made and a true willingness for each to make changes, then the attempt to reconnect can lead to personal growth — which is one function of a healthy relationship,” he says. However, if a couple gets back together because they’re afraid of not finding anyone better or are scared about financial or lifestyle changes, it’s not likely to work out.

Couples who were in a serious relationship and were living together probably split up for significant reasons, Coleman points out, and they will still need to overcome those issues in the future.

A couple will also need to prove that they’re devoted to each other, he says. “Devotion implies sacrifice. You must be willing to not have your way at times, make sacrifices, and not resent it, but see it as worthwhile for the long-term success of the relationship.”

Is it possible to make a relationship work after a broken engagement? Coleman says yes, but with a lot of work. “Sometimes it is like buying a house that is a major fixer-upper,” he says. “It will take time before everything looks and feels warm and cozy.”

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