Beyoncé's Diets Are the Most Effective I Have Ever Tried
By Rebecca Harrington
Photo by thehighendtheory.tumblr.com
I have seen Beyoncé’s HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream, a startling number of times. There are so many parts I like: When Beyoncé brings her computer into an elevator and films herself in the elevator. When Beyoncé talks to a mysterious man off-camera who is wearing glasses. When Beyoncé says, “Life is but a dream!” to Jay-Z and Feist is playing in the background. I could go on.
But my favorite part of all is when Beyoncé prepares for her performance at the 2011 Billboard Music Awards. At first, it looks like the whole thing is going to be a disaster. The rehearsal space gets screwed up. The special effects guys are worried about the army of digital Beyoncés they are making out of computers. Beyoncé has to coordinate her dancing with the digital Beyoncés, which is difficult. Finally, Beyoncé does a video diary. Only one eye is shown on-camera, and the other eye is off-camera for some reason. Beyoncé talks about throwing in the towel and giving up. She can accept defeat when she is defeated, she says. You think it’s all over. Then the next scene is the best performance I have ever seen a human do. I cried.
Related: I Tried Gwyneth Paltrow’s Diet
This is the thing about Beyoncé: She is truly incredible. She’s insanely talented, she has the best baby I’ve ever seen, and she gives performances normal people couldn’t ever do even with ten years of rehearsal time. Naturally, her fitness and dieting regimens are things mere mortals can barely contemplate. As a professional dieter, I had to do her various diets before I died. But would my attempting Beyoncé’s lifestyle be a hard-luck story that ultimately paid off with amazing success, like Beyoncé at the Billboard Music awards? Or just a regular hard luck story, which usually ends in failure?