5 Ways Your Relationship Can Be Toxic to Your Health
(Photo courtesy twenty20.com/@jacquiecooks)
The Hollywood rom-com fairytale does not exist. Every relationship has its ups and downs, as anyone in a healthy, committed partnership will admit. However, there is a definite line between a bumpy patch and a relationship wrought with pain and negativity. While numerous studies show that a supportive relationship can be good for your health – from adopting healthier behaviors to just living longer in general – the constant stress from a toxic entanglement can attack your health in ways you may not have realized. Read on to see how an unhealthy relationship can impact your overall well-being.
1. Suppressed Immune System
Dr. Timothy Loving, professor and founder of The Loving Lab, researched the negative effects of a long-term toxic relationship on the immune system. His team looked at the way couples talked about disagreements. “Couples who are more hostile, more negative or more critical of one another or [are in] situations where one partner tends to withdraw from the other show signs of having weaker immune function.”
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Regarding patients stuck in toxic relationships, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a leading psychologist and author of the upcoming relationship book, “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?,” has also noticed changes in the body. “It happens biologically,” she says. People in toxic relationships “get sick more than people who are in healthier relationships.”
2. Emotional Eating
Many people turn their turbulent relationships into emotional eating, often looking to high-carb, high-calorie foods that have low nutritional value, even when they’re not hungry. Dr. Mary Ann Mercer, marital counselor, author and co-founder of PositiveLifeAnswers.com. says, “What I’ve found is that when people let go of their health or gain weight, it’s a sign of conflict in a relationship. People start eating because it’s a passive-aggressive way to deal with a problematic mate.” If things progress and emotional eating goes undiagnosed or untreated, it can lead to obesity and even food addictions.
3. Toxic Enabling Pattern
When people don’t feel good about themselves they tend to choose partners that keep them in an unhealthy, enabling pattern. This can mean choosing a verbally abusive partner or one that drinks heavily or uses drugs. These types of relationships create patterns that make it harder for the healthier partner to break free.
A study funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism came to this conclusion: “Heavy-drinking spouses may be more tolerant of negative experiences related to alcohol due to their own drinking habits.” Which means that two people with a drinking habit are more likely to fall into a downward spiral together as they both enable those unhealthy patterns.
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4. Sleep Disruption
Dr. Mercer has also noticed that people who come in for therapy often mention sleep problems. “What we find out is the more conflict in the daytime, the more stress they have. Their mind is working a mile a minute,” she says. “What I call relationship insecurity, or worry, is associated with poor sleep patterns. Sleep problems are a trigger from worry as well as anxiety.” Recently, the Independent reported on research that indicated averaging less than six hours of sleep per night increases the risk of early death, not to mention a higher risk of Alzheimer’s, diabetes and heart disease.
5. Increased Risk for Depression and Anxiety
People in stressful relationships have more anxiety and depression than people in loving and supportive relationships, according to Dr. Mercer. Indeed, Dr. Durvasula has noticed that the fallout of an unhealthy relationship can include diminished self-esteem, which often results in depression and anxiety.
“If we’re in a relationship that’s not working well, we tend to devalue ourselves – and when we devalue ourselves, we don’t take care of ourselves,” she says. Depression and anxiety can then lead to a host of physical conditions, making us prone to disease and chronic inflammation.
The original article “9 Ways Your Relationship Can Be Toxic to Your Health“ appeared on LIVESTRONG.COM.
By Denise Cruz-Castino
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