5 Getting Busy Basics Every Woman (And Man) Should Know
(Photo: Kate Powers)
There’s a lot more to good sex than just…sex. Are we the only ones who feel like a lot of people missed out on some very important basics? Sexologist Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and cofounder of Emily & Tony intimate products, is here to set things straight. From kissing technique to hookup etiquette, here are five basics everyone should brush up on.
Kissing Basics
"When it comes to kissing, especially with someone new, less is always more. Even if you’re so hot and bothered and just want to devour his face, resist the urge." Your tongue should not be inside of someone’s mouth the entire time! "Start off soft and slow andthen move your tongue into the mix. "Pay attention to what your kissing partner is doing. Try to balance your style with theirs for the perfect tempo and kiss," suggests Morse.
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Sex Basics
Before you even think about technique, “Cultivate your sexual confidence,” says Morse. “So many women get hung up on how they look and are performing during sex rather than acting how they’re feeling. Stop thinking and start feeling.” There’s no point in having sex if you can’t find yourself sexy, so make that the top priority. “If you get into your body, you will get more into the sex, which is the sexiest thing you can do to get him turned on along with you.”
Grooming Basics
"The phrase ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ should be your mantra in the bedroom." Showering before a date is nonnegotiable. Oh, and guys: "Wash your hands, especially after going to the bathroom. We listen for the sound of the water running," says Morse. Another warning: "We are looking at your nails," she says. "Nothing is less sexy than looking down to see a guy’s hand inching with grubby, jagged nails inching toward your lady parts."
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Manual-Stimulation Basics
For guys: “Go five times slower than you think you should when you start touching her, using soft, flat fingers,” says Morse. Do not press hard, poke, or use your finger (or fingers) like it’s a penis. It’s not—trust us.
For girls: “If you are going into this handy lube-free, be gentle and start slow. The number one mistake women make? Just like lady parts, the skin on a guy’s penis is super sensitive. Too much tugging = bad,” Morse says. “Think of a hand job as a penis massage. You’re trying to pleasure the muscle underneath, not tug the skin on top.”
General Basics
"Don’t lose sight that sex is also supposed to be fun," says Morse. "Be playful, work at letting yourself go." And "most importantly, remember to breathe during sex," Morse reminds us. "So many women and men unknowingly hold their breath, and this actually prevents your ability to relax and reach orgasm."
By Emily Morse
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