"Losing a child while pregnant was the most confusing experience of my life. The conflict of emotions from what was pure joy turned to guilt and terror overnight. How could I love this baby the way I loved Emmy? Was it okay to love this baby the way I loved Emmy? It felt like by loving my son, I was trying to replace her. The fear of birthing my son and what that meant .....a monumental step forward....proof that time continued without her when all I wanted was for time to stop," Morgan Miller wrote Monday morning.
But the activist and former Olympian added, "I couldn't have been more wrong."
"Easton provided us an even closer bond to his sister. The moment I heard his cry, something sparked back alive in my soul. Hope. Love. I'm not sure. But in that moment, I knew I was Mom and my kids deserved the world from me. Everything was going to be okay. My joy and grief could coexist," she added.
And then she dropped the big news on those following and support the family's journey over the past year.
"Now, I can actually say with joy and excitement that we are expecting identical twin boys. From the day I met my husband, he has always said he wanted identical twin boys born on his birthday. We are due on the lucky day/angel number of 11/11 which is not far off from @millerbode Birthday of 10/12. From the beginning of this pregnancy, we knew Emmy had her hands in this miracle somehow," she closed.
Last June, Morgan and Bode Miller took to Instagram to share devastating news.
"We are beyond devastated. Our baby girl, Emmy, passed away yesterday. Never in a million years did we think we would experience a pain like this. Her love, her light, her spirit will never be forgotten. Our little girl loved life and lived it to it's fullest everyday. Our family respectfully requests privacy during this painful time," Miller wrote.
It was later revealed that the 19-month-old died by accidental drowning and Morgan Miller has been leading the charge in supporting other mothers dealing with such tragedy while raising awareness to help save babies across the country.
In May, Miller shared a PSA she made with another mother who lost a child to drowning. In it, they share details of what happened to their families and educate others on how to avoid the same fate.
"Time is not on our side when it comes to water. And even though my daughter was resuscitated there was too much damage to her brain for her to survive," Morgan Miller said. "It takes seconds."
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, drowning is responsible for more deaths among children ages 1-4 than any other cause except for birth defects, and children ages 1-4 have the highest drowning rates. Furthermore, for children 1-4, most drownings occur in home swimming pools.
"With a holiday weekend quickly approaching, be vigilant, be aware and be a voice to spread awareness," Miller added on Instagram. "Do not rely on the visual stimulation of water to trigger your awareness."