Brie and Corn Chips: Not the Way to Court Nicole Kidman, Jimmy Fallon
Oh, how different life might have been for Jimmy Fallon if he’d picked up on those flirty signals Nicole Kidman sent him a few years ago!
Here’s the backstory: During the actress’s Tuesday night appearance on The Tonight Show, Kidman and Fallon each shared their version of one supremely awkward encounter. Fallon thought they were to discuss a cameo in one of her upcoming films, but Kidman thought it was a romantic set-up.
Fallon, who only had about 10 minutes notice of Kidman’s imminent arrival at his shlubby apartment, built maybe the most mediocre celebrity-entertaining snack plate ever: A wheel of brie from his corner deli, corn chips, and some Chinese leftovers. Ouch. Needless to say, Kidman wasn’t impressed, and figured that he wasn’t buying what she was selling. The Tonight Show host remained completely oblivious of her interest in him until Tuesday night’s show. The look on his face when he learns the truth? Priceless.
Well, Jimmy. It’s not as though life has been unkind to you. You’re married with two beautiful daughters now. But—for your own sake—we pray that your fromage skills have improved.
Just in case you’re still struggling, Saxelby Cheesemongers owner Anne Saxelby has some wisdom to share in the, er, romantic cheese department.
"I always tend towards the buttery and luscious," Saxelby told us via email. She recommends Kunik, a pasteurized goat and cow’s milk number from Nettle Meadow Farm in Warrensburg, New York.
"Kunik is a triple-creme cheese—meaning it contains over 75 percent butterfat—that is decadent, silky, buttery and a touch goat-y," Saxelby explained. "It is the perfect companion to a glass of bubbly, as all the carbonation and acidity of the Champagne cut through all that butterfat on the palate. Anything with that much fat is bound to be romantic."
She also recommends another triple creme, Brillat Savarin, a pasteurized cows’ milk and cream cheese. “Again, like whipped butter with a rind,” Saxelby said. “Delicately nutty and tangy.”
As for “courtship snacks at the local deli,” Saxelby says one can’t go wrong with classic Carr’s crackers and some good local cheddar. In New York City, Jimmy,Cabot or McAdam cheeses abound, even at corner stores. And for dessert? “Maybe peanut M&M’s?!?!”
We bet Kidman’s husband (and Australian country music star) Keith Urban makes a great cheese plate. Just saying.
More funny stuff:
Everything Macaulay Culkin eats in the Home Alone movies, ranked
Anthony Bourdain gets totally owned by a Brazilian jiu-jitsu champ
John Oliver’s epic pumpkin spice rant
What’s on your ideal cheese plate? Tell us below!
