The YouTube star, 29, mourned the loss of her youngest child last month after he was found unresponsive while napping on Christmas Day. And on Monday, she shared a photo of his tiny hand to Instagram, writing in the caption that she couldn’t have imagined going through the harrowing experience without the love of those around her.
“I pray that you will never have to experience what I have … see the things I’ve seen … or read the things I’ve read, in the past week and a half,” Leach began. “And if you do, I pray that you will be incredibly blessed with the support and love of those around you, as we have. We have been blown away by the support, kindness and selflessness of so many in this community that we have never even met, and ‘thank you’ would never be enough.”
She went on to say that while “social media can be a very toxic place,” in this case, “what we have witnessed over the past week and a half has been truly incredible.”
“I am well aware that many of you have not followed my family until now, and I am so happy that you are here. However, I kindly want to ask you to check your heart before you continue to follow, as I will absolutely NOT tolerate ANY negativity in this space,” Leach continued. “Thank you to the many of you who continue to check in and pray for our family. We ask for continued prayers this week, the upcoming days will be hard. Much love to you all.”
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Leach detailed the tragedy in several Instagram posts, beginning Dec. 26. In the first post, she shared a photo of her hand holding baby Crew’s and wrote an emotional message in the caption about what had occurred.
“While at a relative’s house last night, Crew laid down for a nap and when I went to check on him, he was not breathing,” she said. “We are living a nightmare, and I’m dying inside. Please pray for my baby. This can’t be real.”
The following day, Leach announced the tragic news that Crew had died. She shared a photo of her cradling her baby boy’s body, with her husband Jeff beside her.
“Crew’s tiny earthly body is still with us, although I know he’s already dancing and playing in Heaven,” she wrote. “We have some hard decisions to make over the next 12 hours, that no parent should ever have to make. We need prayer now, more than before, specifically prayers for peace and clarity on the decisions that have to be made, and for our hearts, the pain is unbearable.”
“I keep thinking that I will wake up from this nightmare, but I don’t,” Leach added. “The outpouring of love and support has been astounding and we cannot even comprehend the amount of love we have been shown.”
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On Dec. 30, Leach announced that “our sweet Crew went to be with Jesus today,” captioning a drawing of Jesus holding her baby boy and going on to share a sweet story about an honor walk for Crew at the hospital before his organs were donated.
“I rode on the bed with him to the O.R, with Jeff walking beside me as the surgical team pushed us through the halls,” Leach wrote alongside the illustration. “People lined the halls to pay their respects to our little hero and then we said the hardest goodbye of our lives.”
The internet personality said earlier on Dec. 30 that the honor walk would be held at noon CST, and shared on the previous day that Crew’s organs could “potentially save 3 to 4 babies lives.”
“I’m not very good with words right now, because my heart hurts and I’m angry,” Leach continued, saying that while she is grateful for the outpouring of support, it still “hurts” her that her son’s story has gone so public.
“I’m thankful for all the love and support that we have been shown, but please keep in mind that we can see your comments, questions and conversations with one another,” she wrote. “Put yourself in our shoes (which is impossible to do) and ask yourself If you’d want to read what you’re about to write or say.”