YouTube Star Conor Maynard Logged Off to Let His Heart Heal — and Make His Latest Song 'If I Ever'

Conor Maynard loved social media.

Since being recognized by MTV as one of the best new artists back in 2012, Maynard had shared much of his professional and personal life with his 13 million followers. But in the winter of 2022, the prolific songwriter and YouTube star made a major decision to make a major change in his life.

And he logged off.

"It was something I knew I needed to do," admits Maynard, 30, in a recent interview with PEOPLE.  "I keep up this positive persona online, so when I'm going through a difficult period, it makes it feel so much worse to feel the pressure to keep up that appearance of being happy and pretending that everything is OK when you know deep down it's not."

Lee Malone Conor Maynard

The difficult period stemmed from the fact that, upon his return from a world tour last year, Maynard found out that a romantic relationship he was in for nearly a year was over.

"We had built such an emotional connection," remembers Maynard of the long-distance love affair that had begun over social media and had remained on social media throughout its entirety. "It went from something I thought was going to last for a very long time to something that was completely over. It was just such a shock to the system. I just wanted the time to take a step back from social media and get in the studio and not feel the pressure to make content. I wanted to put everything I was feeling into my music."

So Maynard did just that, creating music such as his current single "If I Ever," which indirectly seems to echo the leftover feelings he still has following the breakup.

"The first part of the song is a little bit of a 'f--- you,'" admits Maynard, who has found himself on the UK charts with a slew of top 10 singles over the years. "You have those moments where you do feel anger. But then that gives you the strength to move on. And then, at the end of the song, I just get honest and wonder why she did this because I do miss her."

Lee Malone Conor Maynard

He draws in a deep breath.

"[Music is] the positive that comes out of a really extreme negative," he says. "But it was difficult. I didn't have the person that I would wake up in the morning and talk to, or the person that I would speak to on FaceTime before I went to sleep. It was such a massive shift for me, and I felt massively alone."

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At the same time, Maynard was missing his loyal group of followers.

"I was basically cutting off all these people that cared about me fully," he says. "I guess, I had to find what I enjoyed again and why I started in the first place."

Lee Malone Conor Maynard

Today, as Maynard has now ended his social media break, he says he has found enjoyment again. But as he preps to get back on the road, he wonders just what the road ahead holds for him.

"The last text she sent me basically said, 'I still hope I get to see your show next year,'" recalls Maynard, who coincidentally has a tour date scheduled in his ex's homeland of Australia. "I just couldn't believe it. I just don't understand. I don't get what's going on. I don't understand why this is happening. But maybe someday, I will."