"Younger" Stars Give Advice to Twentysomethings
With the third season of TV Land's Younger and Hilary Duff's 29th birthday both arriving Sept. 28, Cosmopolitan.com asked Hilary and her co-star Miriam Shor, 45, what advice they'd give women in their 20s. Listen up!
What you would tell your twentysomething self - or in your case, Hilary, your younger twentysomething self?
Hilary Duff: I am on the tail end. I would say be bold before you get stuck not being bold. I would tell myself to calm down and don't worry so much about having it all figured out.
Miriam Shor: Your voice counts. I would often apologize, to women in particular. I feel like your generation is like, "We deserve a place at this table, we have a right to be here," whereas when I was in my 20s I was like, "Who am I?" It's exciting because I do see a lot of young women feeling empowered.
What is something that everybody should do in their 20s?
Miriam: Cocaine. No, I am kidding. Guys, I am kidding! Travel. You need to know you're a citizen of the world. Am I teaching a civics class right now? Listen, class. But I do feel like once you know you are someone who is in the world and there are other countries and cultures, that stays with you and your decision-making forever.
Hilary: [Traveling] on a whim is fun too, not spending a year like, "I am going to do this and that," but, "I have four days here, I am going to go do it."
What was the greatest risk you took in your 20s?
Miriam: I became an actor, so there you go.
Hilary: I got married and had a baby. Created a human.
Miriam: [Laughs.] Winner. I am always in awe of that, by the way. You are able to like see something and be like, "I am choosing to do this."
Hilary: It was good but now I am divorced. [Laughs.]
Miriam: You have Luca, who is the best. I was waiting until I was a member of AARP to have my children. Get you a discount - you can get diapers for yourself and your children at the same time.
Was being a mom in your 20s something you wanted to do, something you had always planned for?
Hilary: Yeah. We had already been together for a long time and we decided to get married and we waited a year and we were like, "Let's do this." We were both ready for it, we both had careers and it was super exciting.
Is there anything that you regret from your 20s? Something you wish you did more of?
Miriam: I would have traveled more. We both have kids now and I love them and I want them to travel, but it's a different animal.
Hilary: I couldn't travel.
Miriam: You were working. I could have up and gone at the lowest level of - what is below economy?
Hilary: Backpacking?
Hitchhiking?
Miriam: I did do that. I mean, that was risky but fun.
What is something that women in their 20s should worry less about?
Hilary: Getting everything done in the day that you put the pressure on yourself to do. I feel like women's minds never stop. I never feel like I conquered the day and did everything I possibly should have, could have, would have.
Miriam: I feel like I need to let go of the judgment.
Self-judgment or of other people?
Miriam: Worrying about other people. Not to the point where you're walking around like an asshole, but so many people are paralyzed by worrying, "What are these people going to think?" If it's truly a passion and it's truly something you believe in, then you need to do it. You can't just wait for everybody to give you approval - you will just be waiting.
And who cares if you fail.
Miriam: You learn a lot from that and become a better person. I think about that with kids - you want to do everything for them, but you realize if you do everything and you make it easy on them, they won't learn anything and then they will walk around life needing their mamas all the time, and that isn't attractive.
Hilary: I will tell you - one of the teachers at Luca's school came and was like, "I know you don't like putting Velcro shoes on Luca but you really need to." And I was having the hardest time with it because I hate Velcro shoes. [But] every other kid can put their shoes on. I tie his shoes for him right now - he is too little to learn how to tie his shoes.
Why are you resisting the Velcro? Is it a texture thing? Sound?
Hilary: No, they are dorky. They are not cool. He wears them now!
Miriam: Now I am a dork. I am like, "They are so easy to put on!" My Birkenstocks are amazing.
Hilary: That is what I think about women: We can do so much and take care of so much that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to fully get it all handled.
Miriam: I do feel like especially nowadays, we are inundated with the message that, "Oh my god, you aren't making your own clothes? You didn't make your own bread? And you also don't have a career and you don't look unbelievable and you have 5 pounds on your frame? Where is your book that you haven't published yet?" I am like [out of breath/exhales].
Hilary: By the way, all of those people that manage to do that have, like, seven secret nannies.
Miriam: Seven secret nannies, I love that. It sounds like a soap opera
Last question: What's the biggest money mistake you made in your 20s?
Miriam: Oh god, I made so many. I forgot to pay my electric bill and all the lights went off and I was like, "You guys, it's a blackout."I was just shitty, shitty, shitty with money and I finally, when I really started making money, I had to get somebody to sit down with me and learn how to manage my money.
What about you, Hilary, you've obviously earned a lot of money early on. Would you ever blow money on anything stupid?
Hilary: Oh yeah, there were multiple times when my business manager would call me and be like, "I don't know what you think you're doing right now, but a person can only wear so many shoes so calm down."
Season 3 of Younger premieres Sept. 28 at 10 p.m. on TV Land.
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