‘Worst’ 4-star hotel hilariously mocks guests who leave bad reviews

They put the “inn” in inn-sult.

Often seen as an oasis for the rich and famous, California’s luxury Petit Ermitage Hotel has become renowned for something else entirely, roasting guests who complain about their stay. Their hilariously snarky responses to negative reviews are currently blowing up on TripAdvisor as online fans praise their biting repartee.

Interestingly, the Petit Ermitage Hotel, which is located in West Hollywood and costs up to $850 per night, boasts an average rating of 4.5 out of 5 on the travel review site. However, it’s come under fire in some reviews for being “overpriced” with “incompetent staff” and a “non-influencer friendly” atmosphere.

Thankfully, the owner — who refers to themself as the “The Monarch, Innkeeper at Petit Ermitage” — was quick to verbally eviscerate these negative Nancies — like Chicago’s notorious Weiner Circle ... but for hotels.

For example, when one unhappy customer wrote that they’d prefer to stay at a “Holiday Inn,” the four-star resort’s ownership retorted, “Let us know which Holiday Inn and we’ll send you directions,” Kennedy News reported.

Another disgruntled guest expressed their dislike of the food, venting, “I ordered the fried chicken sandwich and it was truly inedible. I could not finish it. It had zero taste. Give me a Popeyes sandwich any day over this. It was a $28 sandwich with tip.”

The Monarch responded, “We can only aspire to the culinary heights of the Popeyes sandwich. And we will endeavor to get there … someday.”

One reviewer was ripped for misspelling “Petit” as “Petite” while complaining about an alleged bug infestation. “We do ask — as a bare minimum — that anyone leaving a review does spell the name of the hotel correctly,” snarked the Ermitage staffer in response. “It can lead to confusion. Especially among the roach community ………. Tallyho.”

Another guest declared that the Ermitage was unaccommodating to children and rated the “Sleep Quality 2 out of 5,” prompting the Monarch to quip, “We very much sympathize. Sleep and children do not go. But soon they will be off to college and you can reclaim all those hours lost. Stay strong.”

And of course, no review section would be complete without the fabled influencer-owner showdown.

One self-proclaimed content creator dubbed the hotel “not influencer friendly,” griping: “I got ignored by the staff almost every time I went up to the rooftop and all the staff seemed to be stuck up. But they were quick to come up to me multiple time as taking photos at this hotel is a huge issue and the pool is over cramped.”

The Monarch was quick to the put them on the rhetorical rotisserie. “At this juncture, we would like to apologize on behalf of our staff for ignoring you,” the would-be inn-sult comic sarcastically replied. “We can only surmise that you joined us on our bi-monthly “Stuck Up Day” where the more we love a guest, the more we ignore them.”

They added, “If you plan on returning, look out for our other themed days such as ‘We Don’t Care What You Ordered, You’ll Eat What We Bring you’ and how could we forget our ‘You Can Take Pictures By The Pool But Only of Your Least Redeeming Feature’ Day (hugely popular in the ‘Influencers Who Want a Dose of Reality’ community).”

Often times, the owner would even cheekily refer disgruntled guests to their fictitious “Liaison to Misery Sebastian the Peruvian Ferret” who they described as “completely indifferent to the concerns you have raised.”

“Resorting” to schoolyard insults might seem like a new low, however online viewers seemed to lap it up.

When one dissatisfied guest named Sally expressed shock at the owner’s comments on TikTok, viewers flocked to the comment section to praise the establishment.

“Haha, I love them for this, not going to lie,” gushed one fan, while another wrote, “They are so iconic.”

Many declared that the biting remarks made them want to stay at Petit Ermitage.

However, others saw the put-downs as inappropriate with one critic writing: “It’s funny but definitely a red flag. I wouldn’t stay there.”

“Sounds like Gen Z works there [nervous laughing emoji],” critiqued another in reference to the stereotype of Zoomers as “unprofessional” layabouts.

Fortunately, staying true to form, it appears that the Petit Ermitage is wholly immune to criticism.

“What is a disgruntled visitor? Is it a female Chief Executive who stubbed her toe alighting from a canoe the day before checking in?” inquired a hotel spokesperson. “Is it an absentminded gentleman Barista who misplaced his wife at a coffee bean convention in the highlands of the Sierra Nevada mountain range of Santa Marta, Columbia not four days before arriving to our humble surroundings?”

They concluded, “Or is it just, what we call in the business, a d–khead?