Why Lily Allen Says 'Communication' with New Husband David Harbour Is Key

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Why Lily Allen Says 'Communication' with New Husband David Harbour Is Key
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David Harbour and Lily Allen Are Married! See Photos from Their Las Vegas Wedding

The wedding came one day after the couple obtained a marriage license

Lily Allen is feeling sexually empowered — and she's bringing that feeling to her marriage with David Harbour.

Chatting with Miquita Oliver for the release of her Liberty partnership with sex toy brand Womanizer, the singer opened up about her "sexual awakening" as she began using toys for self-pleasure in her late 20s — and the lessons she's learned about love and communication for her new marriage. (Harbour and Allen got married in early September.)

"A lot of this journey was not unrelated to the deterioration of my last marriage," the 35-year-old singer said referring to her past marriage to Sam Cooper. (The two divorced in 2018 after separating in 2016 following five years of marriage.) "I definitely had a sort of sexual awakening in my late 20s. And by the way, I'm not blaming this on my ex-husband; it absolutely wasn't his fault."

Courtesy Womanizer Lily Allen

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"It was my fault because I wasn't feeling empowered and I wasn't able at that point to communicate my wants and needs and so things broke down. I definitely don't want that to happen again," she added. "I'm very much in love and happy in this relationship and communication in all areas is important."

The singer debuted her own vibrator — whose brand she had shouted out in her 2018 book My Thoughts Exactly — and revealed she likes using sex toys during sex.

Amy Sussman/WireImage David Harbour and Lily Allen

"I mean I can't speak for anybody else but I do," she said, laughing. "It's fun."

"It's not something that we're necessarily used to and, you know, men might feel emasculated or something if you pull out a sex toy," she added. "I think that's the empowerment thing and I think if you're able to talk about it in a way that's not like 'this is a replacement for you and what you're not able to do,' as more like, 'let's have as much fun as possible.'"

Lily Allen

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The mother of Marnie Rose, 7, and Ethel Mary, 9, (whom she shares with Cooper) also said in the interview that she hopes to be open with her kids about masturbation and sex.

"It's good talking to them about masturbation and giving themselves pleasure because I definitely felt like I was a vessel for male pleasure all through my late teens and early 20s and I think that got me into a lot of trouble, especially when codependency is concerned," she said. "I got all of my value from how I was pleasing men and it never really even occurred to me that I should be trying to like pleasure myself… I’ll definitely be talking to them about it for sure."

While she admits that she was scared of joining this partnership with Womanizer since she'd receive "sort of negative" attention, she says that those feelings of rejection are some that stopped her "from actually wanting to give myself pleasure in the first place."

"I think that the second you are not relying on somebody else to meet your needs, it gives you some sense of independence. And what's more empowering than being able to give yourself pleasure?" she says. "What if masturbation became like the primary place to fulfill your needs, and sex with your partner became the sort of side dish? … I feel like maybe we need to do that."

The "Smile" singer and Stranger Things actor, 45, got married in September during a Las Vegas ceremony with an Elvis Presley impersonator.

"In a wedding officiated by the king himself, the people's princess wed her devoted, low born, but kind credit card holder in a beautiful ceremony lit by the ashen skies courtesy of a burning state miles away in the midst of a global pandemic," the 45-year-old captioned his post about the two's ceremony. "Refreshments were served at a small reception following."

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The two never confirmed they were engaged, but the singer was seen with an engagement ring last November.

The stars were first linked in January 2019, when they attended the BAFTA Tea Party together. They made their relationship "Instagram official" in October of that year when Harbour shared a photo of the two at Disney World, calling the two "prince" and "princess."