Why Heather Graham Loves Dating Someone Outside of Hollywood: 'It Puts it in Perspective' (Exclusive)

The On a Wing and a Prayer star never married or had kids and tells PEOPLE the latter allows her to "feel free" and "get a lot of sleep"

Since last year, Heather Graham has been linked to snowboarder John de Neufville, a welcome change from dating a man in the spotlight.

"Of course, you want someone to understand your crazy schedule, which is different than a normal job, but I like dating someone who's not in the business," the On a Wing and a Prayer star — who's dated actors Josh Lucas and Heath Ledger, British musician Adam Ant and director Yaniv Raz— tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "It puts it in perspective. Sometimes your job becomes so important to you, and then you realize there's so many other things in life that are happening. It's not all about the movie business."

Related:Heather Graham, 51, Wears a Cheetah Print Bikini While Vacationing in Italy

Since de Neufville, 47, considers himself "more of a sports guy," according to Graham, he has been checking out her movies for the first time. "Even the ones that I'm so embarrassed of!" Graham says. "But he always tells me I was great and that he is really impressed. It's sweet."

The Twin Peaks vet never married or had kids, but "I don't feel that I'm missing anything," she says. "If you're meant to have kids, you have kids. And if you're not meant to have kids, then the universe gives you someone or something to nurture. I do sometimes feel like my projects are little kids; I have started to get more involved in producing and writing and directing."

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Graham, who plans to produce a TV series based on Liane Moriarty's Hypnotist's Love Story, believes her choice hasn't always been the popular one.

"I do feel like as a woman, culturally, you're not allowed to say, 'I didn't want to have kids.' Because it's like, what's wrong with you?" she says. "I think as a man it's like, oh cool, you didn't want to have kids. Now, women are getting more free to make their own choices."

Not having children gives Graham a sense of autonomy.

"At the moment, not having kids, I do feel free," the two-time SAG Awards nominee says. "That is pretty great. And I get a lot of sleep."

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The Wisconsin native tries to be what she calls "a loving parent to myself," which entails saying daily affirmations, practicing transcendental meditation for 40 minutes a day and doing yoga.

"The more that I try being kind to myself, I feel like I can take it into all my other relationships and be more loving in those relationships," Graham says. "As I've grown up, I realized I really need to take care of myself first, and then I actually have more to give other people."

Graham wishes she could tell her younger self to "have fun and love yourself."

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"Almost like career is secondary," she continues. "I was super ambitious as a younger person, but my most important goal is to enjoy my life. It's so much more fulfilling than trying so hard to be somewhere in your career. Of course, I still am ambitious, but whenever I can really relax and get into a place of gratitude, then I feel like I really can enjoy all the good things in my life, which I have a lot."

The occasional lazy day helps Graham stay present.

"I feel like you can be more productive if you have some really good downtime — one day of just absolute being a zombie, laying around," Graham says. "And then when I go back to work on Monday, I feel like I have energy and I'm excited about it. If you're relaxed, sometimes you're doing better work."

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As Graham looks to work more behind the camera, she says she still gets recognized most for her roles in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Boogie Nights, Bowfinger, Drugstore Cowboy, The Hangover and Twin Peaks.

"I'm grateful that I'm in some things that people remember and that I still get to keep working," she says. "So many people want to be actors and don't ever get to work. I got to support myself doing this, so I am grateful."

On a Wing and a Prayer streams Friday on Amazon Prime Video.

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