Why "Drive-Away Dolls" isn't exactly Coen canon

Long ago, there was no bigger Coen Brothers apologist than me. Their films combine doomed morality with oddball comedy, making neither part seem false in the pursuit of proving the futility of man’s — and their leads are almost always men — grand plans.

Crimes are botched due to the human failings of characters whose bumpkin accents betray larger truths. See “Blood Simple,” “Raising Arizona,” “Fargo.” Paths to fame or fortune are made hellish by an omnipotent being intent on torturing those who seek such treasures. See “Barton Fink,” “Inside Llewyn Davis,” “Hail Caesar!”

I fell in love with the brothers early on, tuned in to the exaggerated cinematography or dangerously funny performances from the likes of John Goodman. Many of their films rank high on my most influential list of movies. I can watch them over and over and never get bored.

A few years ago they split up to try their own projects. So far, each has left me cold, disappointed — or both. Joel adapted “The Tragedy of Macbeth," the most Coen-esque of Shakespeare's characters. Not surprisingly, Joel's take on the Bard of Avon was dark, reserved, and did nothing new with the material aside from some good performances.

Now Ethan has unveiled “Drive-Away Dolls,” which makes “Macbeth” seem like a masterpiece by comparison. Granted, if I am disappointed with an artist I am predisposed to like, my feelings can amplify. If I sound harsher than the film deserves, you can blame my own human failings.

But it does give us a chance to talk about why the Coens are so good by explaining why they aren't when working apart.

The plot, for what it’s worth: It’s 1999 in Philadelphia. Two openly gay women hit personal snags in their lives and decide to venture south to Florida. Margaret Qualley plays Jamie, but her fast Texas accent will remind you of better performances by Frances McDormand (“Blood Simple”) and Holly Hunter (“Raising Arizona”). Qualley is a fine actress, but mastering the speed and the odd rhythm of the dialogue — penned by Ethan and his wife, Tricia Cooke — fail her.

There’s also Marian (Geraldine Viswanathan) who’s the pent-up straight man — forgive the pun — of the duo. Marian is given little to do but bug out her eyes and look uncomfortable at Qualley’s rapid quips. Which makes things more uncomfortable, given Qualley’s struggle with the material.

The two pick up a car meant for someone else. There is a sought-after briefcase in the trunk. Learning the unfortunate pair got the wrong rig, a group of nasty guys are on their trail to retrieve the misplaced goods at any cost.

Coen and Cooke want to make a leisurely road-trip comedy about characters who get over their hang-ups and get onto one another. There’s lots of detours involving amorous soccer squads (that old gag!) and seedy bars.

But there’s also a menace to those tracking them down that never quite reconciles with the rest of the film. The goons are scary and murderous, but no sense of danger is ever elevated to the two main characters.

Moreover, time and place are hard to track. There’s lots of space between Pennsylvania and Florida, but it seems it takes them as long to get to Delaware as it does Georgia. Never mind all the psychedelic filler that punctuates the film. I know the Coens often rely on dream sequences, but they usually are there to expand on the characters. It leads to confusion and restlessness here.

Then there’s the sex. Not just the explicit acts of passion, but also the raunchy humor. For “Drive-Away Dolls” wants to make a broad comedy that would seem more shocking in 1999 than now. Let’s take that MacGuffin briefcase as an example. I cannot say what’s in the briefcase because I am sure Gannett would be none-too-pleased.

I will say it is similar to George Clooney’s DIY basement project in “Burn After Reading.” Do you remember? Can you look it up? If you’ve not seen that 2008 film, it’s much funnier than the one I am reviewing now.

With “Drive-Away Dolls,” the reveal of the, ahem, MacGuffin falls limp. It’s geared to a junior-high mentality. The same reveal in the earlier film is built-up by Clooney’s earnestness. We think he’s making something sincere and sweet. The music swells accordingly. When we see the finished project, it is in the context of this build-up.

Here, the finely-contoured MacGuffin is the set-up and the joke. It sits there, flaccid. Not to mention it's a repeat of a joke Ethan wrote 16 years ago!

Or let’s look at the film’s take on culture. Conservative politicians are cruel hypocrites. True, but is this anything new? In fact, the film’s shading of this is firmly entrenched in the 1990s. When the main bad guy is revealed, he is more John Ashcroft than Ron DeSantis. Do we really need caricatures of the dullard politicians from a quarter-century ago?

I know Cooke originally wrote this decades ago, but some updating would not have hurt the film. In 2024, the idea that a film with this much same-sex relations and crude humor would shock is quaint.

In the end, I can only conclude that Ethan is funny and zany while Joel is dark and reserved. Together, they can enhance the other’s impulses. Apart, their styles go unchecked. Ethan’s penchant for extreme camera angles, overacting, and exaggerated scene transitions become exhausting when there’s no real heft to the material. He needs some of Joel’s seriousness here.

Want some hope? Ethan mentioned in an interview he and his brother are working on a script together. A gory horror film about a cult in California. I almost cried when I heard the news. Their re-teaming couldn’t come soon enough.

James Owen is the Tribune’s film columnist. In real life, he is a lawyer and executive director of energy policy group Renew Missouri. A graduate of Drury University and the University of Kansas, he created Filmsnobs.com, where he co-hosts a podcast. He enjoyed an extended stint as an on-air film critic for KY3, the NBC affiliate in Springfield, and now regularly guests on Columbia radio station KFRU.

This article originally appeared on Columbia Daily Tribune: Why "Drive-Away Dolls" isn't exactly Coen canon