Why Becca Tilley Kept Hayley Kiyoko Romance Private But Not Hidden
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Originally appeared on E! Online
While Becca Tilley's journey on The Bachelor played out in front of millions of fans, she wasn't ready to make her relationship with Hayley Kiyoko quite as public at first.
But that's not to say she was keeping their love a secret, either.
"Hayley and I had a lot of conversations about being public and being private," Becca said in E! News' exclusive sneak peek at the May 14 episode of Mal Glowenke's Made It Out podcast. "She was like, 'I am so proud, and I have worked so hard to be proud of who I am that I don't want to feel like I'm back in the closet.' And I'm like, 'I also don't want you to feel like that. But if you can kind of see my perspective, I'm navigating being a public person, and having a public platform, being from The Bachelor, it is really hard.'"
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The reality star explained that, given her Bachelor background, she didn't think everyone would give her relationship with the "Curious" singer a rosy reception.
"Most of my followers are conservative, and it's going to be shocking to them that this person that they viewed as a 'role model' is now dating a woman," she continued. "Like, it's gonna be a weird backlash."
For Becca, it came down to wanting Hayley to understand how their experiences shaped their perspectives.
"You're so loved for who you are," she remembered telling the musician. "The reason that you feel so comfortable and confident in who you are is because you're so loved because of that and for that. And you've made so many people feel seen and confident in themselves because of that. But I don't come from the same world."
But Becca stressed that not making their romance Instagram official didn't mean it wasn't an important part of her life.
"I made a promise," the 35-year-old noted. "I was like, 'I never want you to feel hidden.' So it will always be that it's private in the terms of it's not on social media. But if we were out and someone came up and said, 'Oh my gosh! I love your podcast,' and I was with Hayley, I would be like, 'Oh this is my girlfriend Hayley.'"
Fans met Becca on Chris Soules' season of The Bachelor in 2015, where she was one of the final two women, and she returned to the mansion the following year to pursue Ben Higgins. Though she didn't get their final roses, she formed a relationship with another member of Bachelor Nation, Robert Graham, later in 2016 and they dated until 2017.
However, Becca knew she hadn't met the one until she found Hayley.
"I had never been in love before," she continued on the podcast, produced by Mathilde Jourdan. "Everyone would talk about falling in love and I'm like, 'I don't think I have that in me. Like what y'all are talking about, never felt.'"
Becca confirmed the couple's relationship in a May 2022 Instagram post around the time Hayley, 33, released the video for her hit "For the Girls"—in which she took on the Bachelorette role to find the right woman and Becca appeared at the end. The "Girls Like Girls" artist then shared they had been dating since 2018, when they met at the release party for her album Expectations.
In fact, the pair—who've since given several glimpses into their life together—recently celebrated their sixth anniversary.
"We met 2192 days ago (6 years!!)" Becca wrote on Instagram April 4. "I wore a shirt that said 'no time for romance.' Hayley ignored it. We fell in love so quickly. It really is a cosmic mystery how someone can be a stranger in one moment and quickly become the most important person in the next."
To see the relationship statuses of more Bachelor stars, keep reading.
Victoria Fuller & Greg Grippo
Status: Split
In November 2022, Greg (one of Katie Thurston's suitors on The Bachelorette a year prior) joined Victoria on the season eight finale of Bachelor in Paradise. There, the two announced that they were in a relationship. In April 2024, he revealed the two had called it quits.
Johnny DePhillipo & Victoria Fuller
Status: Split
Before Victoria and Greg went public with their romance on the finale of Bachelor in Paradise's eighth season, she and her costar Johnny DePhillipo ended their engagement.
Theresa Nist & Gerry Turner
Status: Separating
After three months of marriage, Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist announced they are "dissolving their marriage" during an April 2024 episode of Good Morning America.
“Theresa and I have had a number of heart-to-heart conversations and we've looked closely at our situation, our living situation, so forth," Gerry said alongside Theresa on Good Morning America. “We've come to the conclusion mutually that it's probably time for us to dissolve our marriage."
The couple got engaged in November 2023 during the finale of the inaugural Golden Bachelor and went on to tie the knot in a televised January 2024 ceremony that included special Bachelor Nations guests like Trista and Ryan Sutter, as well as season 28 Bachelor Joey Graziadei. Despite their decision to separate, the couple expressed gratitude for the support they had received throughout their relationship.
“I don't think we can tell you how many people told us that it gave them so much hope,” Theresa added while the duo announced their separation. “We want none of that to change for anybody.”
Joey Graziadei & Kelsey Anderson
Status: Engaged
After courting 32 potential brides, tennis pro Joey Graziadei found his perfect match in project manager Kelsey Anderson. "I can't wait another minute to tell you that I love you," Joey told his final rose recipient, before getting down on one knee during his season's March 2024 finale. "There is something about you. You have this infectious energy that makes me smile. It's a feeling I've never had before."
Imagining his forever with the Louisiana native, he continued, "I have known for a while that I've wanted to have a beautiful life, but I truly didn't know how beautiful that life could be until I met you."
Kat Izzo & John Henry Spurlock
Status: Split
Though underwater welder John Henry Spurlock (one of Charity Lawson's suitors) and nurse Kat Izzo (she competed for Zach Shallcross' heart) didn't connect until midway through season nine of Bachelor in Paradise, they were willing to dive into the deep end. "I'm going to try something a little different," he said while offering up an Ascher cut Neil Lane diamond. "I'm following my heart today. My heart's telling me that you are amazing, you are everything that I'm looking for."
But days after the finale aired, the duo revealed they no longer saw forever in each other's eyes. "While our paths are taking different directions due to our career goals not aligning," they wrote in a joint Instagram post, "we are grateful for the love and support we’ve received from our family, friends, and Bachelor Nation."
Eliza Isichei & Aaron Bryant
Status: Split
Despite her nerves about a Paradise engagement, an all-dressed-in-white Eliza Isichei (one of Clayton Echard's exes) happily accepted Aaron Bryant's oceanfront proposal. Touched by the software salesman's decision to reach out to her mom for her blessing, she gushed, "I knew I was not in control of what was going to come out of my mouth."
The finale's coda acknowledged Charity's ex and marketing manager Eliza had hit some bumps after returning from Mexico, and days later they announced they had officially ended their engagement.
"Tricky emotions watching it all unfold," he wrote on Instagram Dec. 11. "We’re leading our amicable split with nothing but positivity and mutual respect for one another."
Aven Jones & Kylee Russell
Status: Split
Though postpartum nurse Kylee Russell lamented boyfriend Aven Jones' unwillingness to get down on bended knee—a move he was purportedly prepared to make while romancing Bachelorette Rachel Recchia—she ultimately accepted Aven's Paradise proposal to "get out of here and make it work."
Though that meant her planned engagement gown remained packed, "I just had to do what I felt was right," she said. "Love is all about taking risk."
Two days after their December 2023 finale aired, she announced on her Instagram Stories that their relationship had "dissolved due to multiple infidelities." Aven later issued an apology to Kylee, writing, "I have made major mistakes in the relationship and hurt someone who was very close to me."
Charity Lawson & Dotun Olubeko
Status: Engaged
"I am happy with how this season turns out!" Charity Lawson teased to E! News, a statement that way undersold her August 2023 finale. Dropping to one knee, integrative medicine specialist Dotun Olubeko proclaimed their love to be "perfect," asking the child and family therapist, "Would you do me the honor of turning this fairytale into a reality?"
While their happily ever after awaits—the pair said they're considering a 2025 or 2026 wedding—the Georgia native will first take a spin through the Dancing With the Stars ballroom. "All right, baby," Dotun told Charity on The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose. "So I know you like to cut up, you like to dance and you like to get down. You know that we've talked about this—about how amazing this opportunity would be. And I am so happy to be the one to tell you that you're gonna be on Dancing With the Stars! Baby, let's go!"
Zach Shallcross & Kaity Biggar
Status: Engaged
Zach shall get his happy ending. Despite more than a few Fantasy Suite-related stumbles, Zach Shallcross ended season 27 in March 2023 down on one knee. "I am so in love with you," he told travel nurse Kaity Biggar. "You are my world. The love I feel for you is something I could have never imagined."
In July 2023, the Texas-based duo made an even bigger step in their journey, with Kaity sharing on Instagram, "Officially roommates."
Danielle Maltby & Michael Allio
Status: Split
Ah, Mom and Dad. Though they left BIP season seven hand-in-Neil-Lane-diamond-free-hand, Danielle Maltby, who lost her fiancé to a drug overdose years before she competed on Nick Viall's season, and single dad Michael Allio (he shares 7-year-old son James with his late wife) seemed slated for Bachelor Nation couple goals status.
But a year after Maltby relocated from Nashville to be with Allio in Ohio, he confirmed they'd split. "We both threw a lot into this relationship and it's really awful when it doesn't work out," Allio said on a September 2023 episode of Jason Tartick's Trading Secrets podcast. "When things don't work out, when you realize that love is there, but you're not necessarily compatible, you mourn the loss, not of just that person and that friend in your life, but also the future that you had envisioned."
Brandon Jones & Serene Russell
Status: Split
"I will love you until the end of time. I will love you until my last breath and I want to start forever with you," Brandon Jones proclaimed while proposing to "best friend" Serene Russell on season seven of Paradise.
Alas, their journey was cut short. Five months after their engagement aired, Brandon (a runner-up on Michelle Young's season) and Serene (who romanced Clayton Echard) announced they had split in a joint May 2023 statement. "We have tried to work privately on our relationship which has been incredibly challenging in the public eye," they wrote on Instagram. "This has been immensely hard to accept and painful, as there is a lot of love between the two of us. We are deeply hurting and can only ask that there be no hate."
Rachel Recchia & Tino Franco
Status: Split
Pilot Rachel's engagement to general contractor Tino Franco stalled when he kissed another woman while their 2022 season was still airing. "I do not stand by what I did at all," he said on The Viall Files. "It was not cool. It wasn't fair to Rachel, and it haunts me daily still. It's something I'm ashamed of and certainly wish I could have done it differently like a million times over."
Susie Evans & Clayton Echard
Status: Split
Well, it was certainly a journey. Susie Evans initially rejected Bachelor Clayton's overtures during the 2022 finale only to reunite with him off-camera...and then split once again six months later.
But the L.A.-based videographer insists their breakup was for the right reasons. "The people around me could see that my sparkle had dulled and I was far from thriving," she wrote in a Nov. 21 post for her blog "Susie Was Like." She acknowledged they "had joyous moments often, but deep down I was struggling and felt misaligned with the best version of me."
Susie is now dating fellow Bachelor Nation member Justin Glaze.
Michelle Young & Nayte Olukoya
Status: Split
Minnesota elementary school teacher Michelle accepted a Neil Lane sparkler from Texas-based sales exec Nayte Olukoya—and a $200,000 check from producers to put toward their future home. But, ultimately, the pair just didn't have the right foundation, announcing their breakup six months after their season's finale aired in December 2021.
Though he said on The Viall Files, "There was lots of ups and downs, lots of arguments, lots of fights and just not really clicking, not really seeing eye-to-eye," Nayte acknowledged that not having that final split conversation in person was "a dick move."
Maurissa Gunn & Riley Christian
Status: Split
Viewers fully got onboard with Maurissa Gunn and Riley Christian's vision of a future filled with sweet Sunday mornings. But ultimately the BIP season seven duo only got a couple dozen weekends together.
"We have decided to go our separate ways," patient coordinator Maurissa (who romanced Peter Weber) and attorney Riley (one of Tayshia Adams' suitors) announced in a joint January 2022 statement. "Never did we imagine this, but we've come to a point where we both need to work on ourselves."
Demi Burnett & Kristian Haggerty
Status: Split
Bachelor Nation's first same-sex couple got engaged on season six of Bachelor in Paradise but announced their 2019 split on Halloween.
"What has always been at the forefront of our relationship is love and care for one another. Our priority is doing what is best for us. With a heavy heart full of love for one another we have decided it is best for us to take a step back from our relationship," they said in a joint statement posted on Instagram. "We ultimately want what is best for us in the long run and for us right now, that means being apart and growing individually."
Noah Erb & Abigail Heringer
Status: Engaged
Paradise lost? Not quite. Though Noah Erb and Abigail Heringer broke up in Mexico during the BIP's seventh season, they realized they could see forever in each other's eyes. Initially settling in San Diego, the travel nurse (who competed for Tayshia's heart) and the financial manager (who received Matt James' first impression rose) recently purchased a place in his hometown of Tulsa.
"About to enter our Chip and Joanna Gaines era because your girl bought her very first house!!!" Abigail wrote on Instagram in July 2023. "Excited to start our next chapter and for all the memories we'll create here!!" Starting with a few wedding plans. Ahead of their move, Noah proposed at a beachfront San Diego home in August 2023.
Serena Pitt & Joe Amabile
Status: Married
Never hurts to have a little practice run. While planning their September 2023 vows, Serena Pitt (a finalist on Matt James' season) and Joe Amabile (the Chicago grocery store owner who found fame after Becca Kufrin sent him home night one in 2018) decided to just do the damn thing at City Hall near their New York City digs, roughly one year after leaving Paradise engaged.
"JUST MARRIED !!" Serena, now hosting the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast with her husband, captioned the October 2022 video. "We are still having a wedding this September but who doesn't want to get married twice!"
Kenny Braasch & Mari Pepin
Status: Married
"Mari, I am f--king so in love with you," boy band manager Kenny Braasch said as he slipped that Neil Lane diamond onto Mari Pepin's finger on the 2021 Paradise finale. "And I literally, like, I can't see my life without you."
So the Maryland beauty queen, who initially charmed Bachelor Matt, moved to Kenny's native Chicago and set about planning their forever. And before she and Kenny (eliminated by Tayshia Adams in week five) wed in a 65-guest oceanfront ceremony in Puerto Rico Nov. 11, they made their love permanent, getting inked with matching tattoos during a May trip to the Bahamas.
Becca Kufrin & Thomas Jacobs
Status: Married
Former Bachelorette Becca and Thomas Jacobs (one of Katie Thurston's suitors) got together on Bachelor in Paradise season seven in 2021, broke up on the show, then reconciled after production wrapped.
In May 2022, they announced they were engaged, and that Becca proposed. "I hope that other people can now feel empowered and say it's okay to bend the rules," she told E! News. The real estate agent returned the favor that October. In September 2023, the two welcomed their first child, son Benson. Wrote Becca on Instagram, "No amount of words can begin to capture the amount of love and awe we have over this tiny man."
Though she's awfully fond of her 6-foot-6 guy as well. Weeks after bringing home Benson, the pair wed in a spontaneous Oct. 13 ceremony.
Katie Thurston & Blake Moynes
Status: Split
On The Bachelorette's season 17 finale in 2021, Katie got engaged to Blake Moynes. The pair first declared their love for one another during their overnight date, which involved a paintball excursion, a cowboy tub and a conversation under the stars.
Getting down on one knee, Blake told Katie, "You deserve the world, and I'm excited to support you and be there for you every day moving forward."
Three months after the proposal aired, the couple announced their split. They explained in matching statements, "We are so grateful for the moments we shared together and the entire journey that has unfolded this year, but we ultimately have concluded that we are not compatible as life partners, and it is the most caring choice for both of us to move forward independently."
Rachael Kirkconnell & Matt James
Status: Dating
In the years since Matt and graphic designer Rachael Kirkconnell left his 2021 season together (then briefly split and eventually reunited), they've faced many a breakup rumor. But, yes, they're still sweet on each other.
"I think everybody needs to take a break from social media," he exclusively told E! News at a July 18 Baskin-Robbins event. "Our lives are lived so much in front of our phones that when anybody steps out of being on their phone 24/7, people think it's the end of the world."
Marriage remains the end-game for the L.A.-based pair. "I think the good thing about our relationship is we go at our own pace," the First Impressions: Off Screen Conversations With a Bachelor on Race, Family, and Forgiveness author told E! News in 2022. "And you've seen with other couples—they force the engagement and they're not together anymore. So, I think what we got is a working recipe and we're gonna get there."
Tayshia Adams & Zac Clark
Status: Split
After stepping in to complete Clare Crawley's 2020 season of The Bachelorette, Tayshia met and fell in love with Zac Clark. Though they left her season engaged, the former Bachelorette lead-turned-co-host later revealed that their relationship had some ups and downs.
"It's hard to be in a new relationship and then kind of go away for a couple of weeks, you know what I mean? And this is me being real and honest," she said on The Ben and Ashley I. Almost Famous podcast in August 2021.
She continued, "I think after that, it was kinda like we need to remember why we were with each other. And I think that that's absolutely normal." In November 2021, E! News confirmed the two had gone their separate ways.
Clare Crawley & Dale Moss
Status: Split
Clare fell head over heels for Dale Moss during season 16 of The Bachelorette. In fact, the two were engaged by the fourth episode. The surprises didn't stop there as, weeks after Clare's replacement Tayshia nabbed an engagement of her own, Dale took to social media and revealed his love story with the hair dresser was already over.
The pair sparked reconciliation rumors a month later when they were spotted together. Fast forward to July 2021, after several reunions, and Clare and Dale were fully back together—ring and all. But that September, the two called it quits again. Clare is now happily married to Ryan Dawkins and they're expecting their first daughter together.
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