Even in the RuPaul’s Drag Race fantasyland, where fishnets and wigs reign supreme, every graduating class has its clown (hello, Bianca Del Rio), its drama queen (looking at you, Silky Nutmeg Ganache), its best-dressed lady (Naomi Smalls, please stand up), and more. Season 12 (premiering Friday, Feb. 28 at 8 p.m. on VH1) is no exception. EW recently caught up with the freshly announced cast for a round of exclusive interviews (full story here), during which the gals dished out some hilarious superlatives for their sisters. The library is open, so put on your reading glasses and read on for the full quotes.
Who’s the trade of the season?
Brita Filter: Crystal Methyd. Mullet!
Aiden Zhane: I don’t think there is any trade this season…
Crystal Methyd: Well, Dahlia Sin and Jackie Cox are both pretty hot.
Gigi Goode: Myself. [Laughs]
Heidi N Closet: Jan Sport would be the trade if she had boy brows, but she doesn’t, so she’s not. I said what I said. I guess Jaida Essence Hall could be considered trade because she doesn’t look like she would do drag [when she’s out of drag].
Jackie Cox: Oh, I must say that Crystal Methyd’s mullet is the trade of the season!
Jaida Essence Hall: Outside of myself? Okay, I mean, there is nobody outside of me. I believe in the fantasy. But, if I had to choose somebody, it’s not that hard, I just don’t want to say it out loud… but, Jackie Cox, damn, she looked like she’d just grab you by the neck a little bit and… [squeals]!
Jan Sport: I think it’s either myself or Jaida Essence Hall. Jaida is the trade-ah of the season.
Rock M. Sakura: No, it’s not me. I’m not going to say me, because I’m real! I would say Jaida Essence Hall. Trade-ah!
Sherry Pie: Oh, Jesus. None of them. There are definitely cute [boys], but not my type. I need a man who can throw me through a brick wall. I don’t got time for these little boys!
Widow Von’Du: Dahlia Sin.
Who’s the most dramatic?
Brita Filter: Jaida!
Aiden Zhane: Brita Filter.
Crystal Methyd: Sherry Pie.
Dahlia Sin: Rock!
Gigi Goode: Myself. [Laughs]
Heidi N Closet: In what sense? Jackie, maybe.
Jackie Cox: I can be pretty dramatic. It might be me. I do cry a lot. It might be me. Yeah, I think I’m dramatic…
Jaida Essence Hall: Not me. I like to mind my business and sip a cocktail in Untucked. Jackie would ask us a few questions, sometimes, and be like, we’re not in a good mood right now, leave it alone! But, I don’t think anybody was out to start s— with people.
Jan Sport: Out of the girls here, just because I’ve known the bitch for years, I’m going to have to go with Brita. She’s a dramatic person!
Nicky Doll: The most dramatic of the group is Widow. She can be pretty dramatic.
Rock M. Sakura: Sherry. Everyone’s been saying her, I bet. [Laughs]
Sherry Pie: Heidi. Yes. I don’t think I’m the center of drama…. I am dramatic, but it’s just in me. Give me a light and a stage and let’s do it!
Widow Von’Du: Jan!
Who’s the nicest of the group?
Brita Filter: Rock.
Aiden Zhane: Heidi.
Crystal Methyd: Jan.
Dahlia Sin: There are a lot of people who are the nicest! Me. [Laughs] No, I’m just playing. Crystal!
Gigi Goode: Crystal Methyd!
Heidi N Closet: Other than myself? Probably Rock.
Jackie Cox: It’s a really nice group of girls, so it’s hard for me to pick just one. Jan treated everyone with kindness every moment!
Jaida Essence Hall: Ooh, Nicky Doll!
Jan Sport: I’m the nicest!
Nicky Doll: Definitely I hate to say it, because she’s… Gigi. She’s really sweet.
Rock M. Sakura: Me!
Sherry Pie: Rock.
Widow Von’Du: None of them. [Maybe] Heidi?
Who’s most likely to steal another girls’ stuff?
Brita Filter: Heidi.
Aiden Zhane: Sherry Pie.
Crystal Methyd: Um, me?
Dahlia Sin: Nicky.
Gigi Goode: Crystal Methyd.
Heidi N Closet: Me.
Jackie Cox: Probably Rock. She borrowed boots of mine for this shoot [we’re at] and I don’t know where they are!
Jaida Essence Hall: She wouldn’t steal it, but she’d like to have it: Heidi!
Jan Sport: Um, me. Just kidding. Dahlia, she’d come in with the sneak attack.
Nicky Doll: Wow, I’d say me. I like gloves. Don’t leave your gloves around me!
Rock M. Sakura: Heidi, but only makeup looks… and not well. It’s like a three-finger discount. Aww.
Sherry Pie: Oh my God. Steal it and never give it back? Heidi. She’s taken a few wigs. Not mine! She’s the most scandalous!
Widow Von’Du: Heidi.
Who would you most not want to encounter in a dark alley at night?
Brita Filter: Widow. [Laughs]
Aiden Zhane: Crystal.
Crystal Methyd: Brita. She’s big!
Dahlia Sin: I’m not scared of any of them, so, I’d say myself!
Gigi Goode: How many can I say? [All of] season 12 of RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Heidi N Closet: Widow. I’m sure she has [gotten some votes]!
Jackie Cox: Sherry Pie. I have encountered her in a dark alley and she tried to eat me. Put that in print.
Jaida Essence Hall: Sherry Pie! Like, she’s a sweet person, but you just never know what the f— will happen.
Jan Sport: Oh my God, Brita. She is [sweet], but, just look at her, she’s giant. If I saw that in a dark alley and couldn’t make it out in the shadows, I’d run. Like, what is happening. I’ve gotta go!
Nicky Doll: I would say Crystal, because if you don’t know it’s Crystal, her mug can really scare you. She’s very scary. I’m scared of clowns.
Rock M. Sakura: How many people said Brita? Because I don’t want to say it if they’re not saying it. Maybe Jan? Because if I heard her voice from the end of a dark hallway, I’d run.
Sherry Pie: Widow! She could beat me up!
Widow Von’Du: Yes, myself! Don’t meet me in a dark alley!