‘White Men Can’t Jump’ Review: Sinqua Walls & Jack Harlow Star In Logic- And Chemistry-Free Remake That Can’t Live Up To Its Predecessor
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I feel like a broken record these days, and it makes me want to scream.
I watched Calmatic’s latest film, White Men Can’t Jump 2023, written by Kenya Barris, and Doug Hall, and was forced to ask myself once again: Why? What’s wrong with making another film about interracial relations and basketball? Why must it be a remake of White Men Can’t Jump? The 1992 version has so much going for it, but does this updated version have the juice to make its mark on pop culture the way the previous film did? The answer is no, of course not. The film stars Sinqua Walls, Jack Harlow, Teyana Taylor, Lauren Harrier and the late Lance Reddick.
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It starts in 2010, and a young Kamal Allen (Walls) is a high school basketball phenom considered the country’s top prospect. His father, Benji Allen (Reddick), manages his career. The two have a good relationship, and the young man seems to be heading to stardom. The time jumps to 10 years later when we catch up with Kamal in his old high school gymnasium playing a pick-up game with friends who mention there’s a two-on-two tournament that could lead them to a $500K cash prize if they win. The grumpy and despondent Kamal declines to join.
Enter the obnoxious Jeremy (Harlow) into the gym. The duo cross paths when Jeremy begins to lecture the man about his form, and from that, a free-throw challenge ensues. After losing, a bewildered Kamal wonders how to reconnect with Jeremy after finding the water bottle he left behind.
The audience learns more about these two and realizes their lives couldn’t be more different. Kamal is a high school b-ball star who lives with his wife, Imani (Taylor), and young son. At the same time, Jeremy is a health and wellness coach peddling his fake detox elixir to random gym members to make money while living with his girlfriend, Tatiana (Harrier). After Kamal’s hours get cut at work, he needs another way to make fast cash and wants to enter the tournament. However, everyone he knows already has a partner and signed up. That’s when the lightbulb goes off to reach out to Jeremy. Both are desperate for cash, so they agree it’s best to team up and split the money that’ll help ease their financial woes — if they can get along long enough to win anything.
The original White Men Can’t Jump film used the sport as a device that was part of a larger narrative. It’s a confidence movie, not just a get-rich-quick thing like it is for Kamal and Jeremy, who are portrayed as the saddest men alive. The film relies on using rappers, influencers and famed producers (like NBA star Blake Griffin) to add weight to this hollow shell of a movie. The script tries to be quirky with subtle racism and microaggressive gags that are never utilized in interesting ways. Like, what are we doing here?
I first noticed Walls in the Starz TV series Power, and then as Sir Lancelot in Once Upon a Time. He is one of the few good elements this film has going for itself. His performance is strong, but even he can’t save it because the material he’s working with is bland as heck. Then you have Jack Harlow acting as Jack Harlow. Was he encouraged at all to try something different? At a minimum, the movie is nice to look at, thanks to the soulful cinematography of Tommy Maddox-Upshaw. It’s a shame such high-class camera work is squandered on vapid drivel like this.
Sure, these remakes are for Gen Z or whatever, but at a certain point, even they will be unable to tolerate such empty works that waste the talents of Taylor and the late, great Reddick. So far, these remakes have an abysmal track record. First House Party (released earlier this year) was a dud, and now this? When are these films going to get better?!
Title: White Men Can’t Jump (2023)
Release date: May 18, 2023
Distributor: Hulu
Director: Calmatic
Screenwriters: Kenya Barris, Doug Hall, Ron Shelton
Cast: Sinqua Walls, Jack Harlow, Teyana Taylor, Lauren Harrier, Lance Reddick
Rating: R
Running time: 1 hr 41 min
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