What 'The Goonies 2' and 4 Other Long-Delayed Sequels Would Look Like
When it comes to long-gestating sequels to classic movies, the phrase “Be careful what you wish for” comes to mind.
This is especially true in an era of non-stop speculation, rumors, and false starts blasted across the Web. The movie hype machine can be so piecemeal, so tiresome, so unrelenting, and so set to overkill, in the end only to produce… a disappointment of blockbuster proportions like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Twitter explodes with every morsel of detail when it comes to follow-ups to our cinematic favorites. We’ve been talking about Ghostbusters 3 since when — 2003? But do we really want a Ghostbusters 3? Do we seriously have confidence that it would play well? (Admittedly, the tragic loss of our old friend Harold Ramis may have derailed this one once and for all.)
Still, we clearly didn’t learn our lesson from Star Wars episodes I through III. Just see our off-the-charts anticipation for Star Wars: Episode VII (granted, yes, J.J. Abrams, Lawrence Kasdan, and that cast offer some new hope).
The latest sequel-to-classic that’s been rumored forever but recently gained steam: Goonies 2 with director Richard Donner’s admission that the brain trust is “doing a sequel,” and that he’s hoping all of the original cast members return, with a plot that also introduces their children.
Sounds exciting, sure… color us nostalgic. But again, do we really want this? Considering how difficult it is to strike gold in filmmaking, aren’t the odds that a sequel disappoints and taints our memories of the original exponentially higher than it proving the rousing triumph it could hypothetically be in our minds?
We mocked up what The Goonies 2 and four other sequels would look like today, original cast members intact.
Consider this our PSA. Maybe we don’t want this, you guys.
It seems neither Keanu Reeves nor Alex Winter can do an interview without being asked about the long-rumored third adventure of Bill and Ted. Have we forgotten how Bogus Journey worked out?
Arnold Schwarzenegger is back with vengeance. There’s a Conan sequel still on the table. This could happen, people.
Like Ghostbusters 3, this is another project that’s made the media rounds since 2003. We blame Didi Conn. (Also Grease 2 < Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.)
OK, as we all know, this one’s happening. There’s no stopping it. We can only hope it makes the galaxy a better place.
