Well, the new Twitter verification system seems to be working out great

The “genius” at work.
The “genius” at work.

Twitter has always been a hellhole, but, at its best, it can be a very funny hellhole. It follows, then, that extremely wealthy one-man meme recycling facility and world’s least favorite Soundcloud artist Elon Musk buying the company and firing a whole bunch of its employees in order to run it his way has only made the whole place even more chaotic, terrible, and, ultimately, funny (in the way it’d be funny to see a clown car dropped into a vat of acid).

While the destruction of the social media platform is taking place in all sorts of ways, it’s Musk’s revamped verification system—which allows users to buy the checkmark that once signified an official account for a price decided upon by Stephen King not replying to a tweet—that’s producing the most entertaining results. And that’s because, as everyone predicted, it’s pretty easy to fake another identity for an $8/month payment you can just cancel and charge back to your credit card after making a joke.

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Just about as soon as the new verification system was introduced, “official” tweets of all kinds started to roll in. Steven Monacelli captured one from “Nintendo Of America” that shows Mario flipping the bird and another of the character panting in lust over his brother, Luigi.

Nikki McCann Ramírez included this Mario image alongside other examples of the program working as intended. There’s “Ben Shapiro” tweeting that “Matt Walsh won’t stop calling me and talking about genitalia” and “Elon Musk” introducing a new Twitter subscription that will, he hopes, get Grimes to come back.

Joshua Hill has helpfully compiled a list of some of the other best examples of the verification system working to protect users from misinformation, creating a thread where he and others can flesh out the results with stuff like “George W. Bush” thinking back wistfully to his mass murdering days (and “Tony Blair” chipping in with solidarity). There’s also “Rudy Giuliani” tweeting that George Soros once “pushed me down in the street and I was stuck on my back like a turtle for several minutes” or that he would “like to announce I shidded.”

We’ve also seen tweets from “President Biden” about jerking off, “Dave Chappelle” stating that he’s no longer a TERF, “O.J. Simpson” admitting to murder, “Valve” announcing a new game, “LeBron James” requesting a trade, two “Pope Francis”es talking to “Martin Luther” and “Pope John Paul I,” and, last but far from least, “Twitter” trying to run a crypto scam.

We can’t see exactly how all of this helps humanity other than giving us a few laughs at the expense of a billionaire dipshit tripping on his own shoelaces, but, then again, we’re not geniuses like Musk.

Send Great Job, Internet tips to gji@theonion.com

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