It’s been quite a week in the Real Housewives-verse. The ladies of Potomac headed to Portugal (which is, in fact, an entire country), where they sipped on poncha (which is not, in fact, commonly referred to as "poon-poon"). Over in O.C., our California girls tested out both luxury cars and wedding dresses, still dismissing talk of this coronavirus, or whatever it’s called. And then, high in the moneyed mountains of Utah, we meet Bravo’s newest ‘lebrities, the ladies of Salt Lake City. Lots to unpack! Here are our picks for the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in ‘wives.
HIGH POINT: Braunwyn and Gina’s reconciliation, RHOC
The tension between Braunwyn and Gina has been hard to watch this season, especially considering how much they’re both currently dealing with. After going to an AA meeting together, they officially make up over some tea (with oat milk), and Gina very kindly promises the newly sober Braunwyn that she won’t drink at Braunwyn’s upcoming vow renewal in solidarity. Amid what’s been a pretty sour season, it was a moment of pure sweetness — and relief.
LOW POINT: Michael Darby, RHOP
Ah, that evergreen low point of the Maryland franchise, Michael Darby’s treatment of his wife. Poor Ashley just wanted to get away to Portugal with her good pals to drink some poon-poon and rediscover that she belongs to herself and not just her baby, and yet here she is, worried sick that there’s nobody to put Dean to sleep, and also that Michael might be walking around strange hotel rooms in his underwear again. And he has the audacity to say he feels "molested" by her concerned phone call? Absolutely not. We reject this.
WILDEST MOMENT: The entire series premiere, RHOSLC
Wow. Wow! Where to begin? Ahead of the premiere, social media made a bunch of fuss over Mary being married to her widowed step-grandfather, but that’s barely even scratching the surface of what these ladies served up in their first appearance. The wardrobes alone! The ski chalets! That one unforgettable shot of Jen stomping through the snow in her strappy stilettos! Bring us the Sundance parties. Bring us the accusations of breached Mormonism. Bring us “smells like hospital” fights and birthday parties that are basically an insult to the birthday girl. We’re officially all in on Salt Lake City.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Jen, RHOSLC
MOST INSTANTLY ICONIC LINE: “I’m not giving you s---, because you don’t give s---, except s---” —Karen, RHOP
CRUELEST EPITHET: “Good-time girl” —Lisa (paraphrased by Jen), about Heather, whom she otherwise doesn’t really remember from college, RHOSLC
MOST MASTERFUL EDITING: RHOC
Elizabeth: “It’s Newport! Doesn’t everybody have a midlife crisis car?”
Kelly: “I don’t”
RHOC’s intrepid editors: [Cut to Kelly’s diarrhea-colored G-Wagon]
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR(S): All of the RHOSLC family members making their franchise debuts, but especially Meredith’s son and Whitney’s dad.
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