Spring is here, Bravoholics, and just as surely as the days are getting warmer, so too are the Housewives' dramas heating up. For one thing, this week brought the first taste of what The Real Housewives of New York City's season 13 will bring; but even with the ladies who are currently on the air, everyone refuses to slow down. First, on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Halloween inspired LaToya to pick some fights and Kenya to pick the worst possible costume. Next, The Real Housewives of Dallas reflected upon their own mother- and daughterhood, and Tiffany got a hostess do-over. Finally, a Real Housewives of New Jersey trip to the shore made a fight that's been brewing all season boil over. Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: Mothers and daughters, RHOD
This week's hour in Dallas, titled "Mommy Dearests," was dedicated to the complex relationships between the Housewives and their mothers and their daughters. And while some of those dynamics are still a little fraught, for the most part it was a celebration of the love between them all. Kary and her mature, lovely daughters had a heart-to-heart about Kary's divorce, and Tiffany was shocked and relieved when her achievement-obsessed mother was overjoyed to hear she'd cut her hours at work. But the pièce de resistance was, as expected, D'Andra and Mama Dee making up after last week's dramatic conclusion to Tiffany's birthday party. "No matter how mad I get, you'll always be my only child," Mama Dee said, her voice cracking even as her face did not. "I don't want you to ever look back and have any regrets." Be right back, calling my mom!
LOW POINT: Kenya's Halloween costume, RHOA
At the beginning of this week's episode, Kenya told Falynn that she wouldn't attend her Halloween party in a bunny costume because "I don't want to be disrespectful around your husband and other men there." Instead, she chose to be disrespectful to Native peoples across America (at a party where no men were present anyway, making her initial show of modesty all the more absurd) by wearing a "warrior princess" costume with a feathered headdress. This is racist, and there is absolutely no reason for a person to wear this as a costume. It sparked a backlash, including a statement from Native-led nonprofit IllumiNative pointing out that "'Playing Indian' is a form of mascotry that is not just offensive, it is part of a long history of how Native peoples have been dehumanized." Following the episode's airing, Kenya apologized on Twitter, saying, "I now realize that this was both disrespectful and insensitive and would never have done it if I had that knowledge and understanding beforehand. I regret it."
WILDEST MOMENT: Teresa vs. Jackie, RHONJ
Did we really think there would be no fireworks once we got these two back in a room together? You could cut the tension with a knife from the moment Teresa handed out the party favors (vibrators for everyone!) with the clearly rehearsed line, "Jackie, I don't know if it's going to fit up your ass…" But that was just the beginning. They seemed to have cooled off by the time everyone sat down to dinner, but Teresa just had to bring up the guys' night shocker that Joe Benigno had previously heard the rumor about Evan. The revelation prompted chaos from all angles, but it all came back to Teresa's rage towards Jackie (who, by the way, carried herself quite well through the whole thing). Teresa doesn't need to be friends with Jackie, she said, because "I'm a confident person, and you're so not. I like hanging out with confident people." Smooth as silk, Jackie came right back at her with the instantly iconic line: "Did you get that confidence in jail?"
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Dolores, RHONJ
COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS: To the return of RHONY. We're ready!
MISS MANNERS: RHONJ's Margaret, elegantly thanking Teresa for her brand-new vibrator by crying out appreciatively, "This matches my eyes! I love it."
VILLAIN OF THE WEEK: LaToya, RHOA. Switching between her fights with Falynn and Kenya, she was showing more than just hints of jealousy and delusion, respectively, so it's probably just as well she left the party early.
THOU SHALT NOT: Adhere to RHOD's Kary's hazy recollections from Sunday school, the "nine commandments" of which include "don't sleep with a neighbor" and "do not masturbate."
MOST POWERFUL FELINE ENERGY: A major category this week, as Kandi came to RHOA Halloween as a cheetah, Porsha as a Party City "domestic cat," and Drew, unforgettably, as "CATS the musical." It's gotta be a tie between Kandi for makeup and Drew for inspiring this excellent subtitle from our friends the Bravo editors.
OTP: Dolores and Frank Catania, obviously. (RHONJ)