A "Dear David" Review From A Person Who Doesn't Tolerate Horror Films Very Well
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If you haven't heard, Dear David, the horror movie based on a viral Twitter story, is now showing in theaters and on digital. It's on Prime Video here.
To be honest, I have trouble with horror movies because I am a person who likes not to be scared. But I made my boyfriend watch this one with me so I could tell you honestly what I think about it.
There are some mild spoilers ahead, but none of the big ones.
**WARNING: This film contains themes that some readers may find upsetting, so please keep that in mind before proceeding.**
First, we learn that the movie is based on events that happened to Adam Ellis in 2017.
Then we open on a scene in New York City, 1996. We have a jump scare in the first several seconds, and all I can say is, my little heart is not cut out for this.
But I pushed on, in the name of content.
We then see a child named David, who can only be described as unusual. He is in a dark room looking at things on the internet and being bullied in a chatroom.
We already know that this will not end well.
Then we're in 2017, and Adam Ellis, played by Augustus Prew, is going to work at BuzzFeed.
This was fun to watch because I used to work in this office.
Andrea Bang and the hilarious Tricia Black star respectively as Evelyn and Norris, Adam's sweet coworkers.
We also encounter Justin Long, who plays the chaotic Bryce, head of BuzzFeed.
I'm so glad I never had a boss like this in real life!!!
Meanwhile, some kids have been fucking around in a chatroom, and one of them is about to find out why you should never ask random haunted children on the internet three questions.
Only ever ask two questions.
It's late at night and we are back to Adam, a graphic artist with a big following, who is engaging with internet trolls. This is never a good idea.
A mysterious account with no photos starts following him. Dear David has been summoned.
This is where my breathing intensified. Weird things are happening in Adam's apartment, and he starts documenting it all for his followers.
Adam's sleep paralysis gets worse, and he is now seeing a small child with a caved-in head in the corner of his room.
NO, THANK YOU. I read about all your real experiences with sleep paralysis, and it sounds terrifying.
His cats are noticing something is off, and there is definitely someone lurking outside his front door.
The cats always know when something is up.
Adam senses that someone is following him around in dark places as well.
Alone on a subway platform with a demon in your presence? Again, no thank you.
Adam works at BuzzFeed, so of course, when Bryce sees his viral tweets, he says, "Let's make a BuzzFeed post about this experience!"
Adam did write a post about it in real life, too. You can read it here.
Things get a lot worse from there...
Horrors that may or may not be dead human beings are haunting Adam everywhere he goes.
David is also haunting Adam's devices, which is further tearing his relationships apart.
"I swear the ghost of a dead child made this Grindr profile and not me" — Adam to his disappointed boyfriend, but also me using that excuse anytime I get in trouble for something.
Understandably, Adam starts to feel as if he's losing his mind.
Won't tell you anymore because I don't want to spoil it, but all I'll say is that this was basically my face throughout the entire movie:
You can watch Dear David here. But I want to tell you that since I watched it, two things have been happening to me: First, I keep hearing noises in my apartment. Second, I am having trouble sleeping because am having a lot of thoughts about sleep paralysis. If you're ready to be thoroughly spooked, then go ahead!
It's October, after all.
The moral of the story is, be nice on the internet, friends! You never know who might be lurking out there waiting to haunt you, terrify your cats, and ruin all of your relationships.
