Watch Out, America. Conservative Comedians Have Learned About 'Skits'
Back in 2006, a character on Aaron Sorkin’s classic cringe-watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip laid down the law to his comedy-ignorant mother as to what is a skit and what is a sketch: “We don’t do skits, Mom. Skits are when the football players dress up as the cheerleaders and think it’s wit. Sketches are when some of the best minds in comedy come together and put on a national comedy show that’s watched and talked about by millions of people.”
Well, watch out, America, because conservatives have learned how to do skits.
One America News Now, better known by its original name Fox News But Just The Seth Rich Conspiracy Theory Parts, is launching a weekly late-night comedy show on May 4. Headlines Tonight with Drew Berquist will air on Saturday nights at 10 p.m, and according to its host, the show will feature “highly entertaining and outrageously funny skits that will resonate with the late-night audience.” A highly entertaining and outrageously funny preview is already on YouTube.
I think the network might be called One Network News Now because they’ve never heard of a second camera angle. What I am seeing in this preview is not “outrageously funny comedy" so much as “repeating things that happened, and then just looking at the camera like: whaaaat?” You find yourself waiting for Berquist to say, “Uh, so there’s that,” and then not only does he, but it’s the complete punchline to a joke that merits its own fake applause break. “Uh, so there’s that” is this show’s crown jewel. “Uh, so there’s that” is the standard of quality for which they will continually strive. You have to admit, that is kind of funny. Take a look!
What's actually highly entertaining is the way the laugh track comes in after this outrageously funny joke, which takes a month and a half to set up, deadnames Chelsea Manning, and then lands on an outrageously timely jab at the 1996 Broadway musical Rent.
I will remind you that this was the take that they went with. This was the very best one, folks. Pick it up at the six-minute mark:
It bears mentioning that another joke that outrageously skewers Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s comment about climate change as a root cause of our immigration issue- from memory: “You’re an idiot”- simply ignores the research of countless climate scientists who for decades have warned that climate change will lead to the very crop failures, food instability, and extreme poverty throughout Central and South America that drive poor migrants north. Comedy is not where I go for a nuanced discussion of this kind of thing, and neither is One America News Now, but is it wrong to hope for a punchline?
Most damning of all, the name Total Berquist Live was just sitting there this whole time. How can I trust you with my comedy if you don’t take it?
Elsewhere on the internet, a right-wing news website that you know is serious and thoughtful, because its name is Big League Politics, has a scoop that will shock you: Jared Holt- who, as a blogger for Right Wing Watch, will probably have to watch Headlines Tonight with Drew Berquist every week, God help him- has finally admitted that he absolutely hates America. Here’s the damning evidence:
absolutely. nicolas cage should have never given back the Declaration of Independence
- Jared Holt (@jaredlholt) April 24, 2019
You’ll notice that the tweet is in response to InfoWars host J. Owen Shroyer, who has asked Holt once and for all if he hates America. That Holt responded the way he did, and that Big League Politics has taken it absolutely seriously, brings one classic television moment to mind.
Last year, Prison Planet tweeted, “The Right is starting to get better at comedy, and it’s making lefties nervous.” He got roasted for it, but he’s right. They have improved, and they are now at the level of not-particularly-bright cartoon second graders.
Uh, so there’s that.
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