Video Premiere: Paul McDonald Bares His Soul in Heartbreaking 'First Loves'
A lot has happened to Nashville singer-songwriter Paul McDonald since he tried out on whim for American Idol Season 10 a little over four years ago and, much to his surprise, found himself making it all the way to the top eight. He married actress Nikki Reed in 2011 after a whirlwind courtship; they recorded an indie-folk duet EP together in 2012; and then they split in 2014 and released a “divorce album,” I’m Not Falling, that same year.
Now solo in both his personal and professional life, McDonald is putting out a new two-song EP, Once You Were Mine – the follow-up to last year’s You & I, with another EP, Slow Rising, due in early 2016. This is his rawest and most personal music yet, and Yahoo Music’s Reality Rocks is proud to premiere the video from the Once You Were Mine EP, “First Loves,” right here.
“These songs are exceedingly honest and vulnerable – no bells or whistles. In fact, ‘First Loves’ was recorded as a demo in one take, five minutes after we wrote the song,” McDonald tells Yahoo Music. “It’s not perfect. But it’s a perfect reflection of who I was at that moment in time.
"I did a lot of thinking last year,” McDonald continues, explaining where his head was at during the making of this music. “I had to. I went though some interesting life changes and it forced me to step back and really take stock of my life and my emotional state. My band broke up, I moved from Los Angeles back to my old stomping grounds in Nashville, and then I wrote a bunch of songs about it – almost 200, to be almost exact. Most of the songs ended up being super-bummed-out heartbreak songs, the kind of material that’s way too personal and far too depressing to subject people to… but at the same time, it was an invaluable part of my growing and healing process.”
Eventually, however, McDonald realized that some of this music needed to be shared. “I tossed most of those songs onto a hard drive in my studio never to be seen or heard again. On occasion, one or two would somehow manage to resurface. One night, after a few drinks at my place, I mustered up the courage to show some of my buddies a couple tracks that I had been working on. I played two songs, and during both, I watched as my friends began to cry before the second chorus even hit,” he recalls. “I didn’t know exactly what that meant – more than likely, it was just the booze – but at that moment, I promised myself that I would release a select few of these 'sad songs,’ even though they felt way too close to home to share.
"Soon enough, more life happened, as it tends to do. Some things came up, and as a result, the timing didn’t feel quite right to release this music into the world. Trusting my gut, I decided to hold onto these two songs. Until now. Until I wasn’t living and breathing, and walking and talking every single word… until I could shed that skin and feel truly comfortable moving forward. I’ve finally let these songs go, just like I’ve finally let that chapter of my life go.”
McDonald now at feels at peace with his decision to let these highly personal recordings out into the world. “The songs no longer belong to me,” he says. “And I’m hoping that in giving them away, they’ll be embraced by others. Whether five people or a million people hear this music and identify with it, are moved by it, feel healed by it; if it helps just one person get through a tough spot in a fleeting moment of heartache, if it resonates even slightly… well, then it was all worth it.”
Watch McDonald’s “First Loves” and have a box of tissues at the ready, because this one’s a real heartbreaker.
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