Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale's Relationship Timeline

Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale wed in 2011 and finalized their divorce in November 2022

Actress and author Valerie Bertinelli was married to businessman Tom Vitale for more than a decade before they went their separate ways.

The pair met shortly after Bertinelli divorced her first husband, late rock star Eddie Van Halen, with whom she shares her son, Wolfgang Van Halen.

Bertinelli and Vitale dated for six years before they got engaged in 2010. "I could have spent the rest of my life with Tom and not be married, but I wanted to call him 'my husband,' " the Hot in Cleveland star told PEOPLE at the time. "I really wanted to share how I feel about Tom with the people I love."

The couple eventually tied the knot at their Malibu, California, home on New Year's Day in 2011.

During their 10-year marriage, Bertinelli and Vitale co-founded the internet startup Veebow and Vitale made appearances on Hot in Cleveland and Valerie's Home Cooking.

Fans were shocked when Bertinelli filed for legal separation from Vitale in November 2021, citing "irreconcilable differences." She then amended her petition to ask for a divorce in May 2022, which was finalized in November 2022.

From their surprise wedding to difficult divorce proceedings, here's everything to know about Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale's relationship.

2004: Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale meet

Bertinelli was introduced to Vitale by her brother, Patrick Bertinelli, while she was visiting her parents in Scottsdale, Arizona. The One Day at a Time star had just separated from Van Halen at the time and Vitale had also recently gone through a divorce.

"Val and I were coming from a tough time and wanting to move on but didn't want to trust anyone," Vitale told AARP The Magazine in 2010. "We just understood each other completely ... My family is her family. It wasn't love at first sight; it was family at first sight."

March 2010: Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale get engaged

After six years of dating, Vitale surprised Bertinelli with a proposal in Florence, Italy. "We'd talked about getting married, but I was still shocked," she said to PEOPLE. "It was sweet when he asked me, because he was so scared. I was like, 'Are you kidding me?'"

May 2010: Valerie Bertinelli is "happiest" with Tom Vitale

Even before they were officially married, Bertinelli and Vitale were in a "honeymoon phase," according to a friend of the couple. "She's happiest when they're together," the actress' trainer, Christopher Lane, told PEOPLE. "She's thrilled to be with the man she loves."

June 2010: Tom Vitale discusses his future with Valerie Bertinelli

Though Bertinelli and Vitale were looking forward to their big day, they focused on planning their future rather than the wedding itself. "We've both had good weddings [before]," Vitale told PEOPLE at the premiere of Hot in Cleveland, which Bertinelli starred in alongside Betty White. "Now we want a good marriage."

July 2010: Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale plan a "very small" wedding

The pair agreed that their wedding should be a small affair with little fanfare, as they had both been married before. "For me, it feels silly. I'm 50. It's not about the wedding. I just want to have a marriage," Bertinelli told PEOPLE. "We're going to get married in Italy, just the two of us and a witness."

November 2010: Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale enjoy pre-wedding honeymoons

Bertinelli and Vitale were ready to start their lives together — the couple took a "pre-honeymoon" in Italy before walking down the aisle. "One of these days we're going to get married, but we just had an amazing three weeks in Italy, and so now we're planning our second honeymoon for us to actually get married and go again," the bride-to-be told PEOPLE. "We're doing all the honeymoons first."

January 1, 2011: Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale get married

After initially planning a small wedding, the couple had a change of heart. They married at their home in Malibu, California on New Year's Day in front of 100 guests, surprising them with a wedding ceremony when they arrived. "We're so happy!" Bertinelli told PEOPLE.

Among the attendees were Bertinelli's Hot in Cleveland costars Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick, as well as former One Day at a Time costars Mackenzie Phillips and Pat Harrington. Also in attendance were Bertinelli's ex-husband Van Halen and their son, Wolfgang.

January 5, 2011: Valerie Bertinelli says she's "happier than ever" after marrying Tom Vitale

Shortly after the couple tied the knot, Bertinelli described herself as "happier than ever" during an exclusive interview with PEOPLE. "I could have spent the rest of my life with Tom and not be married, but I wanted to call him 'my husband,' " she said. "I really wanted to share how I feel about Tom with the people I love."

January 19, 2011: Valerie Bertinelli says it "feels appropriate" to call Tom Vitale her husband

During an appearance on The View shortly after the wedding, Bertinelli revealed her favorite perk of marriage: getting to call Vitale her husband. "I think I got tired of calling him 'my spousal equivalent,'" the actress said. "It's nice to call him my husband. It feels appropriate."

February 2011: Valerie Bertinelli describes her bond with Tom Vitale

In an interview with Good Housekeeping, Bertinelli discussed her and Vitale's deep connection and love for each other. "He has unlocked some things in me that I usually like to keep buried," she said. "He unlocks a lot of the stuff I don't have to hold on to anymore. I love him. I adore him."

October 2012: Valerie Bertinelli describes her and Tom Vitale's shared love of food

After losing weight with Jenny Craig and becoming a spokesperson for the brand, Bertinelli published her first cookbook, One Dish at a Time. She spoke to Prevention about how cooking and romance were tied together for her and Vitale. "A lot of love goes into making soup," she said. "The first time I made gazpacho for him, I thought I was going to be made love to the entire night!"

April 2018: Valerie Bertinelli describes life at home with Tom Vitale

The couple opened the doors to their Los Angeles home in 2018 and gave Food Network Magazine an exclusive tour of the space, which they shared with their dog and five cats. Bertinelli revealed that her favorite place in the house was her library, where she would relax with her pets and find inspiration for her cookbooks and cooking show Valerie's Home Cooking.

"It's my favorite room in the house after the kitchen — it lets me take care of myself for just a couple minutes a day," she explained.

Vitale, on the other hand, loved the grapevines the couple planted in the backyard, which allowed him to bottle his own wine.

October 6, 2020: Valerie Bertinelli mourns late ex-husband Eddie Van Halen

Though their marriage didn't last, Bertinelli and Van Halen remained close until the Van Halen frontman died from throat cancer in October 2020. The ex-couple had even attended each other's second weddings.

In her January 2022 memoir Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I am Today, Bertinelli called Van Halen her "soulmate" and revealed that she and her son were by his side during his last moments.

"'I love you' are the last words Ed says to Wolfie and me," she wrote. " And they are the last words we say to him before he stops breathing. I loved Ed more than I know how to explain."

November 23, 2021: Valerie Bertinelli files for legal separation from Tom Vitale

After 10 years of marriage, Bertinelli filed for a legal separation from Vitale, citing "irreconcilable differences." The court documents also stated that the couple would adhere to their premarital agreement.

January 2022: Valerie Bertinelli says life is "too short to waste"

In her book Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today, Bertinelli opened up about her struggles with self-acceptance and self-love. "I cover a lot," the actress told PEOPLE ahead of its release. "But ultimately it's about growing older, with the emphasis on growth, learning lessons and reminding myself — and hopefully those who read the book — that life is a gift and too short to waste."

May 12, 2022: Valerie Bertinelli files for divorce from Tom Vitale

Six months after her initial petition for separation, Bertinelli amended her filing to request a dissolution of marriage. Though she wrote about her connection with Van Halen in her memoir, Bertinelli said that those feelings didn't contribute to the breakup of her marriage. "We grew apart," she told PEOPLE. "The decision has nothing to do with my love for Ed. I wish Tom the best and I know he feels the same way about me."

May 2022: Valerie Bertinelli says divorce from Tom Vitale "sucks"

In a TikTok video, Bertinelli shared that she had been going through some "yucky stuff," and then read a passage from her memoir.

A fan commented that Bertinelli seemed "so distressed and sad," expressing their concern for the actress. "I'm just having a bad day," Bertinelli responded in another video. "But you know what? Sometimes we have bad days and then we get over them and then there's a good day. So I'm looking forward to the good day. F — this bad day."

She later posted a video underscored by Taylor Swift's song "tolerate it," writing "divorce sucks" in the caption.

June 3, 2022: Tom Vitale challenges his prenup with Valerie Bertinelli

After Bertinelli filed to dissolve their marriage, Vitale responded with his own court filing, challenging the existing premarital agreement they signed before their 2011 wedding. He also sought to block Bertinelli from requesting spousal support.

Vitale later requested to be awarded $50,000 monthly in spousal support and around $200,000 in legal fees.

June 9, 2022: Valerie Bertinelli says she "can't imagine ever trusting anyone" after split from Tom Vitale

After splitting with Vitale, Bertinelli said that she's content being alone during an appearance on the Today show. "I am gonna be more than happy to be happily divorced and spend the rest of my life alone," she told co-host Hoda Kotb. "I'll be happy that way. Well, with my six cats and my dog and my son, and hopefully one day grandchildren."

She added that she doesn't see herself looking for love again. "Because of the challenges that I'm going through right now, because divorce sucks," she said. "I can't imagine ever trusting anyone again to let into my life. So I have some trust issues that I'm sure I'm going to have to get past."

July 13, 2022: Valerie Bertinelli requests a separate trial to review prenup with Tom Vitale

After Vitale challenged the validity of the prenuptial agreement, Bertinelli then requested "an early and separate trial" to validate the original prenup they agreed to.

If a judge grants the separate trial, Bertinelli and Vitale's divorce proceedings will pause until the separate trial is concluded. Bertinelli has argued that their prenup, which contains a "waiver of temporary and permanent spousal support," is still valid; Vitale has argued that their prenup should be dismissed, allowing him to proceed with his request for spousal support.

September 2022: Valerie Bertinelli sells the rings and shoes she wore during her wedding to Tom Vitale

Bertinelli announced she's parting ways with some of the accessories she wore during the former couple's 2011 wedding.

"Dropped a few things off with @therealreal," she captioned a series of photos of the items, which included a pair of Jimmy Choo heels and what appeared to be two wedding bands in front of a Tiffany & Co. box.

"A couple of Tiffany rings that have some bad memories attached and a pair of shoes I wore to a wedding in January 2011 😉," wrote, adding: "They should be up in a couple of weeks! ✨💖."

November 22, 2022: Valerie Bertinelli and Tom Vitale finalize their divorce

Bertinelli, who described the day on Twitter as the "second best day" of her life, couldn't be happier that she's officially divorced from Vitale after being legally separated for a year.

"My lawyer just called. The papers are all signed. They're about to be filed," she said in a video. "On 11/22/22, I am officially f------ divorced. Happily divorced. Finally. It's finally over."

January 1, 2023: Valerie Bertinelli celebrates her first New Year's Day since divorcing Tom Vitale

Bertinelli posted a video of herself twirling to Taylor Swift's "Clean" on Instagram, marking her first New Year's as a divorcée.

"This new year's day is coming in so much happier than last year's," the Food Network star wrote in her caption. "From a young age, New Year's Day has been one of my absolute favorite days, for the last 5-6 years it's been one of the saddest. No more. There is so much to look forward to now, when before it just looked endlessly sad, scary, lonely and stressful. I have no idea what's ahead for me and I'm not worried. I'm free. This new years day, 2023, is the first day of the rest of my life!"

January 30, 2023: Valerie Bertinelli opens up about past trauma

Bertinelli told her Instagram followers that participating in dry January has allowed her to "feel" again and process some of her past trauma.

"I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am," Bertinelli said. "I realize …that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me, but my part in all of it was believing it, and I don't believe it anymore. But it still doesn't stop the feelings from coming up and the hurt."

Bertinelli didn't reveal whether that "someone" was her ex-husband Tom Vitale.

"My core is happiness and joy, and it gets covered with the stupid things people say to me that I started to believe," she continued. "I'm saying this because I know a lot of you out there feel the same way, and you're told shit that's not true. It's not true. Someone's trying to dim your light. F--- 'em. Shine bright."

August 1, 2023: Valerie Bertinelli says she questions how she "tolerated the intolerable" during marriage with Tom Vitale

In a post on Instagram, Bertinelli reflected on her "healing journey" eight months after finalizing her divorce from Vitale.

"We forget to pat ourselves on the back and really look back at how far we’ve come," she wrote. "Those little tiny voices that want to start beating me up again thinking about how in the world I tolerated the intolerable. Gratefully, those days are WAY fewer and far between. Almost nonexistent."

Bertinelli continued: "I can really, truly give myself compassion because I know I was doing my best to love, to be generous, to be compassionate, and have patience, even though I was never given the same respect. There are now many more days where just the pure peace and joy of existing are here and for once in my life, I know I deserve it."

November 22, 2023: Valerie Bertinelli marks one year since finalizing her divorce from Tom Vitale

Bertinelli is happily divorced.

"What a difference a year makes 🥹🥰," she wrote on Instagram alongside the video she shared on Nov. 22, 2022 — the day her divorce was finalized.

March 12, 2024: Valerie Bertinelli reveals she's dating a "very special" man

During an interview with USA TODAY, Bertinelli updated the outlet on her relationship status post-divorce.

“I’ve met someone. And I’m incredibly grateful for him,” she said, keeping her boyfriend anonymous. “It’s unlike any relationship that I’ve ever experienced with a man. He was not on my radar. So this came out of left field, and I’m grateful it did. He’s very special.”

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