Valerie Bertinelli Says Marriage to Ex Ended When They ‘Became Very Unkind to One Another’ (Exclusive)

The 'Indulge' cookbook author split from her second husband Tom Vitale in 2022

It’s only in the past 18 months, after the end of her second marriage, that Valerie Bertinelli started cooking again. “Through cooking, I found joy again," says the TV star and author, who’s latest cookbook, Indulge, is out now.

It was a long time coming. As she shares in this week’s cover story, “It’s taken me 60 years to get to here.”

Her long struggle for self acceptance came to the fore during her 2022 divorce from Tom Vitale after 11 years of marriage. “We became very unkind to one another," she says, "and that’s not a way to live in a marriage."

Related: How Valerie Bertinelli Freed Herself from Body Shame and Learned to 'Indulge' in Food, Life and Love (Exclusive)

The end was the "catalyst," she says. “That was just the breaking point for me, where I finally decided I’ve had enough. I was continuing to tolerate intolerable things, starting with my own words in my own head.” 

“I had hit rock bottom emotionally. All the drama and trauma I hadn’t dealt with," she explains. "I’ve used food to numb my emotions. I’ve used alcohol to numb my emotions. Because there was so much sadness in my life, and alcohol amplified it. Those were symptoms of what was going on inside of me."

Related: Valerie Bertinelli Is in Love! How the Romance with Her New Man Started Online: ‘My Belly Is Flip-Flopping’ (Exclusive)

"I wanted to feel calm," she says, adding that led her to “more consistent therapy, more journaling and meditation."

It took time — and a lot of tears. “The more I let myself cry, the better I felt,” she says. Long walks with her dog Luna were also helpful. “When I decided to really question why I was having a certain emotion," she says, "I was able to — most of the time — walk through it and get to the other side."

And there she began to find joy again, starting in her home kitchen, cooking her favorite recipes, which she shares in Indulge.

“I found a way to be intentional with joy,” she says. “And I want to share that. For me, it’s through cooking. And remembering to be grateful even in the really challenging parts, because it may not always feel like it — but it always gets better.”

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