Trista and Ryan Sutter: What in the World Is Going On With the First Bachelorette Couple?

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Thanks to a series of cryptic Instagram posts by Ryan Sutter, Bachelor Nation doesn’t know if Trista Sutter is on the run or starring in a new reality show.

Ryan Sutter met his wife, Trista Sutter (neé Rehn), when he competed for her affection on the first-ever season of The Bachelorette in 2003. The firefighter married the pediatric physical therapist and former Miami Heat dancer that same year; they marked their 20th wedding anniversary in December 2023. They share two children: Maxwell, 16, and Blakesley, 14.

However, it seems the longest-running couple in Bachelor Nation history are experiencing some trouble in paradise…maybe. Just a few months after attending the wedding of Golden Bachelor stars Gerry Turner and Theresa Nist (who have since split), Ryan Sutter began sharing a series of cryptic posts about his wife around Mother’s Day that have sparked concern among fans.

In his initial post on May 11, Ryan implied that he has not been in contact with his wife, though her own family tribute posted a day later mentioned nothing of the sort. “They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I can think of only a handful of days I have not, at minimum, spoken to this incredible woman,” he wrote at the time. “She is the love of my life and my best friend. I cannot imagine loving her any more or any more fondly. But I guess we’re gonna find out…. I miss her already.”

While many of his followers initially assumed the Dancing With the Stars alum is taking part in another reality show that has made communication difficult, Ryan’s continued Instagram activity made some fans fear the worst. On May 18 he tried to defuse the situation, telling fans that Trista is “fine,” though he did not clarify her whereabouts. Here’s a complete timeline of Trista and Ryan Sutter’s cryptic Instagram drama, with the most recent updates up top.

May 18, 2024 (Part II): Ryan addresses fan concerns, confirming that Trista has taken an opportunity that made her “temporarily inaccessible” to her family. “I write what is on my mind at the moment. I write my feelings without regard for how they will be interpreted and with absolutely no intent to deceive or mislead anyone—that is the farthest thing from my mind,” he explains. “I choose to share my thoughts on occasion because it helps me process them and, I hope, may help others navigate their own lives.”

He continued, “Trista is fine. We are fine. We’re great. Trista is at a place in life where she is searching a bit. An opportunity presented itself that may help her on that quest. With her family’s support, she has taken it. Part of that process means that she is temporarily inaccessible to us. I miss her. We miss her.”

One fan in the comments suggested Trista might be competing in the reality series Special Forces, while others believe the couple has separated. “Why publicize all of this? Let her 'search a bit' without all the attention you are drawing to her,” one fan responded in the comments, though many others have also flooded the replies with support.

May 18, 2024 (Part I): Ryan shares a selfie with Trista, captioned with a pretty dramatic message to his wife. “I really wish I could talk to you. Ask you how you’re doing? How was your day. I’d really like to hear your voice—just for a minute,” he writes, in part. “So many times I’ve called without much to say, not realizing how lucky I was or how much I’d miss the opportunity if it were gone.”

He continues, “I want to know how you’re doing. I want to support and encourage and cheer you on. I want to be there for you. But I can’t. And that’s ok cause I know you need this time - time to discover yourself again. So I’ll be here for you instead. I’ll be here when you get back. I’ll be here to listen to you, to smile with you, maybe cry with you - I’ll be here to love you… I’ll be here… forever.”

One fan replies, “I’m not sure he realizes how much this makes it seems like she’s dead.”

May 12, 2024: On Mother’s Day, Ryan sounds a bit more positive, though still pretty cryptic. “I know you wish you were here for Mother’s Day. We wish you were too. But sometimes being a mom means letting go of their hands, granting independence and stimulating their courageous spirit,” he writes. “Sometimes it’s necessary to exemplify the characteristics you preach - to do rather than say. Sometimes it takes being uncomfortable and scared to show them that it’s ok to be uncomfortable and scared. Sometimes you have to go away so they know you’ll come back, that your love is not limited by distance or difficulty or time. Sometimes you have to do what you sometimes have to do. We’re proud of you mama pajama for everything you do for us, near or far, Happy Mother’s Day!!!”

In her own Mother’s Day post, Trista thanks Ryan for being the “best parenthood partner.”

May 11, 2023: Ryan posts his first cryptic post, which sparks fan confusion and concern.

January 4, 2024: The Sutters attend the Golden Bachelor wedding event. It’s their last public appearance before Ryan’s cryptic posts.

This post may be updated.

Originally Appeared on Glamour