Trans Actress Tommy Dorfman Announces Engagement to Girlfriend

Trans actress Tommy Dorfman announced she is engaged. Dorfman revealed the news in a recent episode of Rachel Bilson’s podcast, Broad Ideas. In the episode that premiered Monday, the 13 Reasons Why actress playfully called her partner “just a gay girl.”

Though the identity of Tommy’s fiancé has not yet been shared, she described their romance as “very affirming,” and that she would be, “the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with."

Dorfman also expressed her feelings about her new love, calling it “safe” and “not safe” at the same time. “Being in love is so scary. So uncomfortable, so painful. All the universal feelings of being in love that are probably the same,” Dorfman said. 

The news of an engagement came only months after Dorfman filed for a divorce from her husband, Peter Zurkuhlen, this past February. The two were married for five years. When Dorfman came out as trans in July 2021 she told Time, in an interview, that she learned, “What I’m interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man.”

After their amicable split, the 30-year-old was open to exploring love with a woman. 

“I knew I was interested in women in a way that I hadn’t really been aware of since high school,” she told Bilson. “I had this unresolved, unexplored thing.”

She began her search for love with the mindset of, “‘This is the year that I’m gonna go on some dates with girls and feel that out again, and not feel ashamed about it.’” 

However, before she could start dating again, she had to overcome her insecurities; "because they thought of me as a gay man, they were like, 'Oh, like you're the safest person in the world,' and then suddenly, I transition and I become a little bit more threatening, in my head." 

Emotions have also been high for Dorfman. She opened up about how she is going through hormone therapy, saying it feels “wild to be 29 and going through puberty again.” 

By embracing her gender and identity, she quickly found herself falling for someone who loves her for the way she is, Dorfman explained. She spoke about how her partner has supported her throughout her transition, even telling Bilson that her fiancé “knew how” to administer her estrogen shots and that “she did it for me the first time. Then she was out of town and we FaceTimed and she walked me through it.”