courtesy tori spelling
Tori Spelling is teaching her kids self-care and how to handle bullies.
The @Home with Tori star, 49, is no stranger to dealing with bullies as a mom to her five kids: Beau, 5, Finn and Hattie, both 10, Stella, 14, and Liam, 15.
Speaking with PEOPLE about her experience as a migraine sufferer and her partnership with Nurtec ODT as well as managing stress with a big family, Spelling admits that she has had to "step outside her comfort zone" in helping her kids navigate bullying.
"As a person who internally wants just everyone to get along, I've had to step outside of my comfort zone," she tells PEOPLE.
That work has been especially difficult when she finds that her children are being bullied online, often by adults.
"Our kids have to deal with a lot," she acknowledges, saying her kids have faced adversity from adults including teachers. "They're dealing with in-person bullying from their peers, but then they're dealing with social bullying from adults, even other parents."
"That's where I really draw the line. And I'll speak up, any day of the week, I'll step up and say something," Spelling says. "It's hard because we're taught that professionals, or for kids adults, are experts in their given field. They know better."
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"It took a lot of work on myself to say that teacher, that principal, that person, that doctor, who told me this is how this should be, wouldn't always be right, and then communicate that to my kids."
"You have to trust yourself as the parent because you're going to be your kids' biggest advocate," she continues. "And that's why I teach my kids. I'm here for them now but I want to teach them to be their own best advocate when they're adults."
Speaking about the back-to-school season, Spelling reveals that one of her children faced bullying on the first day.
"My kids just went back to school and just when you think one got through it, one of my other children was bullied on the first day of school," the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum shares. "I felt like with the one, we just got through it and we are really working on re-boosting her confidence and just bringing out her skills."
Clarifying that she was referring to getting daughter Stella, whose bullying journey Spelling has spoken about publicly, Spelling says "the route I took with Stella is going to be different than the route I take with my other child, getting them through that situation."
courtesy tori spelling
"We're now communicating on a different level with our kids in this generation. We're finding out a lot sooner, what delights them, what their interests are and we're not dismissing that anymore," she says.
"We're not saying what fits one fits all. Different kids need different things and different confidence boosters. So we've got to take it one day at a time to get through it."
When it comes to her experience with migraines, Spelling explains she doesn't want the migraines or her treatment to get in the way of her life as a busy working mom.
"I got my first migraine just over 20 years ago, and I got it on the set of Beverly Hills, 90210. It's a day I'll never forget because it really changed my life forever," Spelling says.
"It's been a long journey. In the past, I couldn't find medications or treatments that really worked. Then about two years ago, I found Nurtec ODT, and it really it works for me. It's something I can carry around, it's dissolvable."
She adds, "I take it and in an hour it takes my migraine away and I can go back to being present as a mom and in my work life."
Life can be chaotic with five kids, but Spelling tells PEOPLE she's most excited to see how her kids are "evolving every day."
"They're constantly changing, they're learning. They're not stagnant and I feel like as adults sometimes we get to that place," Spelling says.
"We get boxed in by other people, and the boxes we put ourselves in. Kids don't do that. They'll be like 'hey today I love this' and next week, they'll say 'I'm into something else,'" she continues. "They try new things and explore, so I try to look at things through their eyes."
"I'm there for them a hundred percent but I'm learning from them too which is a really cool experience that I don't think you ever really know is gonna happen before you have kids."