Tori Meehan weighs on that intense Survivor Tribal Council
Tori Meehan thought she was going to make it through another Tribal Council on Survivor 42. But that was before she and her castmates attending the second Tribal showed up and looked at who was sitting on the jury.
When Drea Wheeler and Maryanne Oketch saw that a blindsided Rocksroy Bailey had joined Chanelle Howell on the jury, they were determined that a third Black contestant in a row not be voted out, and they each openly played their immunity idols to guarantee it. That move sealed Tori's fate… unless the Shot in the Dark could save her. (It couldn't.)
Since we didn't really hear Tori weigh in during the conversation about the history of race on the show, what did she make of what went down at Tribal? What happened during it that we did not see? And what does she think would have happened had Rocksroy not been voted out at the first Tribal? We sat down with juror number three to get her take on that and her entire 17-day game.
Robert Voets/CBS Tori Meehan on 'Survivor 42'
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: So, there's obviously a lot to get to with that Tribal Council. When did you start to get an inkling you might be in trouble?
TORI MEEHAN: It was after a little bit into Tribal. 'Cause if you'll notice, I was still trying to be a little manipulative at the beginning when Drea was saying, "I'm gonna play my idol." And I tried to tell her — I was bluffing, of course — being like, "I support you if you wanna do that. I don't think you need to do it. My vote's not gonna change…." in my mind being like, please don't play it or I'm going home.
And then once Maryanne started getting in on the conversation as well, and once I saw their emotions and, honestly, the deeper hurts that I was witnessing, I was like, "Okay, this is changing. My game is sinking. I'm going down." But I was actually okay with it at that point because how I saw it was if I went home that night, all that really meant was that my Survivor dream came to an end, which of course sucks. I'm a superfan. But I understood that if Drea or Maryanne were to go home that night, it would mean a lot more to them and be a lot more hurtful for them. So when I saw my game sinking, I was gonna do what I could, but I accepted it in that moment.
I don't know if you watch Big Brother or not, but we saw something similar with Claire last season where she was a superfan and she wanted to go on to the end, and then her friend Tiffany had to tell her, "You're going home and here's why," and she had to process that and take that in and then, as you say, realize this meant much more to someone else in a certain context than to her.
Yeah, absolutely. There was definitely strategy going on in my mind. I was like, "When I go to play my Shot in the Dark, what if I just write Lindsay's name down? Or maybe I could use Maryanne's extra vote and we could do a 2, 2, 2." But at that point, I accepted it. I had such a fun time on the island. Like, I should have gone home a long time ago. My days were numbered. I was hoping to just keep squeaking through, 'cause in Survivor, it could just take one more day.
We didn't see you say a whole lot during the discussion about race until the end after it was pretty clear it was going to be you, and then it just became more about seeing if your Shot in the Dark would work. What was your reaction in the moment to what Drea and Maryanne were saying?
I kind of figured going into 42 that a conversation like this might come up because of the diversity initiative, and that's a great thing. I just never thought I would be part of that conversation. Because, honestly, I felt like I had nothing to add to that conversation. So, in that moment, what I felt I could add was just giving them space to talk about it. Not trying to interfere and be gamey and strategic or take away from that moment. I felt like the most important thing I could do was to let them talk, and for me to listen, because there are things I can learn in that moment too.
How did you feel about the procedural aspect of Jeff calling off the official voting and pretty much just settling it there with an open forum?
It felt appropriate to not go through the formalities. Something I was voicing, I was like, "I am uncomfortable with this. It feels so uncomfortable to have such a real world moment and to go straight back to scheming." And so I kind of told Jeff, I even asked, "Can we just not vote? Can we give this some time and space?"
So yeah, that was really scary. I mean, I was terrified that entire time. I'm not gonna lie. I knew I was going home. I wanted to be strategic. I have a lot going on in my mind, but I did know too, "Hey, I'm gonna play my Shot in the Dark." I actually didn't even ask to play my Shot in the Dark. I just said, "I'm going to go play my Shot in the Dark." That didn't work, but it would've been so fun if it did.
Robert Voets/CBS Tori Meehan on 'Survivor 42'
What do you think would have happened had Rocksroy not been sitting on the jury? Who gets voted out?
I fully believe Drea was going home.
Do you think she would've played her idol? Because we did see her in a confessional before Tribal talking about a red flag going up once Jonathan told her they wanted to get rid of idols.
Okay, here's a moment that they didn't show, which was for me, the worst moment. So it's when Drea started getting more aware of, "Oh, it might have actually been me." And she turns to Lindsay and Lindsay nods. It was kinda like, "Yep, it was gonna be you."
And in that moment, from my perspective, that's when things started to unravel more and become a lot more serious. And so that's why, when Drea was talking about playing her idol at the beginning, I was trying to be like, "Oh, you don't need to do that. Don't worry. Stick with the plan." Which, you know, I was lying. I was definitely lying. But I do believe that it would've been Drea.
You and Rocksroy certainly did not have a great relationship in the game, so what was that like with you and him back at Ponderosa?
Back at Ponderosa, it was constant bickering. It was torture. [Laughs] No, it wasn't. Okay, here's the thing: People want me and Rocksroy to hate each other, but the odd reality is that we actually get along great! I really just misunderstood him. I thought when he was talking to me on the island, he was condescending and he was talking down to me. And then I realized, "No, he really is more comfortable talking to his children. He's a stay-at-home dad. That's what he's used to."
When I kind of finally understood that, I was like, okay. And there was a lot more to our relationship. I was trying to play it strategically. I was trying to play up the rivalry between me and him because I wanted people to think post merge that Ika was totally fractured, that there was no way we were working together. But Rocks and I still had a working relationship and he was feeding me information when no one else was. So there was a little more to it than me just being annoyed and him being annoyed by me. [Laughs]
Robert Voets/CBS Rocksroy Bailey and Tori Meehan on 'Survivor 42'
You seemed to never really get your social footing in the game and were playing from the bottom from the very beginning. What do you think happened?
Many reasons. Number one: I think I am self-aware, and I'm self-aware enough to realize that I just don't give off the best first impression. And I went through so many links pre-game. I was using psychology and wearing certain colors. I was wearing glasses and making myself look nerdy, reading a lot of books, trying everything I could so I would not come across as this mean girl, or typical blond girl, or even a Parvati archetype. I didn't want that because I know how in real life people perceive me. They tell me, "When I first met you, I thought you were gonna be a mean girl, but then I got to know you and you're not."
But in Survivor, no one's gonna give me that second chance. And so I think that happened. And then also something I would definitely do differently is I would reassure my alliances a lot more in the beginning, like with Zach and Swati. Because I was with them and then they thought I wasn't, which is when the votes totally turned and they ended up going home. So I think that was it too. I was almost trusting too much that my alliance members trusted me.
What was it like watching the show play back and you're talking and folks are nodding their head or saying "She's burying herself" and stuff like that?
I cringe when I watch myself. I'm like, "Why are you doing that? Why are you saying that? Stop!" But also, I think it's hilarious. When I watch myself on TV, I am kind of like, "Who is that girl?" The sassy, the assertiveness, the competitiveness — that's absolutely part of who I am, but I would not say those are the dominant parts of my personality. So watching that, I'm kind of like, "Hey, what is she gonna do next? She's a little crazy. She's chaotic. She's very messy." But that's me! And so it's actually been fun to watch because those aren't parts of my personality that I really like to give life to in my everyday life.
Let's talk about the good stuff. Two straight immunity challenge wins and you got them when you really needed them. How amazing did that feel and were those your proudest moments in the game?
Oh, my gosh. I said coming into the game, I wanted to be the first woman to win five individual immunity challenges. I know my stats, I know no woman has won more than four and I really believed I could do it. And some people were like, "Yeah, but there's Jonathan." And I'm like "Jonathan who?" [Laughs]
No, I was scared going into it. I felt intimidated. I'm like, "Who's gonna beat him?" And then somehow, little me! I even felt the whole time that no one really valued my skills in challenges. So it was fun to be like, "No, I can do this." And so I really hoped that if I got to stay longer, I could've maybe broken a record, but I'm very happy with having the first two, because that helped me survive in the game. If it wasn't for that, I would've been gone a couple of Tribals ago.
Robert Voets/CBS Jeff Probst and Tori Meehan on 'Survivor 42'
What's something that happened in the game we didn't get a chance to see that you wish had made it to air?
There were a lot of things that didn't get shown, because there is more to me than just being sassy and rolling my eyes. A big thing for me is my faith. That was a huge part of me on the island. That's how I connected with people post merge that totally got cut out. And also, my journey with body image. I'm a therapist for women with eating disorders and I've had my own struggle. And that was something I was really worried about going on the island and putting myself in a place of starvation and knowing that I would lose weight and hoping I would not like the way I looked coming back home and trying to keep that with disordered eating behaviors.
And also, I cried a lot. I was so emotional. I was convinced they were gonna show in the very first episode me crying in the ocean by myself praying to God, "Please God, make a way for me. I know I've messed up." I cried so much. I cried a lot too because I felt very excluded by people, and I don't think people would expect me to feel that way because they see me as this person who is kind of sassy and doesn't have emotions. But I have so many of them. That's my superpower as a therapist: my emotions. So I'm kind of surprised people didn't see that.
If you could play again, what would you do differently?
Literally, so many things. I regret a lot, and when people are like, "I don't regret anything, that was my game," I'm like, "But did you win? If you didn't win, you should regret a lot."
Here's one thing: That first leg of the [first challenge] race with the amulet advantage, I was actually supposed to run that leg, but I didn't want to run the longer part. And we were told the second leg was longer. And so Drea was like, "Wait, which one's shorter? I wanna do that." And I was like, "The second one's shorter," lying. So, karma! Who knows if they'll have that advantage again, but for me, that's something I look back on. I was like, "That could have literally changed the course of my game!" But it happened.
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