“Today”'s Bobbie Thomas Says 'Down There Care' Helped Her Sexual Wellness Journey

When you feel good about yourself, “that’s when sex is good,” Thomas said

There’s more to sexual wellness than just “the annual checkup” with your gynecologist, according to Today’s Bobbie Thomas.

During a Today segment on intimacy and sexual health with Hoda Kotb and Jenna Hager Bush, Thomas said that “the idea of sexual wellness is a foreign concept to many of us.” She then went on to share how she managed her sexual wellness journey after her husband, Michael Marion, died at the age of 42 in December 2020 after a bacterial infection led to organ failure.

“I never thought after saying ‘I do’ I would be out there dating,” said Thomas, who turns 49 on October 23.

“As a mother and a caretaker, and women in general, just busy working, you put your needs last,” said Thomas, who welcomed son Miles, now 8, in 2015.

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But it wasn’t until Little Big Town’s Kimberly Schlapman — whose own husband died in 2005 — recommended Thomas get a massage that she realized she was “missing touch.”

“You have friends and family that give you a hug, but getting your hair tucked behind your ear, or holding hands?” Thomas asked, adding, “And yes, intimacy. I missed my husband, but I got so good at missing it that I wasn’t even aware that I should need it.”

Thomas added, “I was nervous about dating on so many levels, but when the butterflies hit and there was chemistry, all of a sudden I cared if my underwear was matching. And I remember thinking, ‘When is the last time I actually bought a cute bra?’ ”

Related: 'Today' 's Bobbie Thomas Opens Up About Dating 2 Years After Husband's Death: 'Excited to Start This Journey'

“You don’t really think about it at first, all of a sudden you’re, ‘Oh I need to get a pedicure.’ You’re shaving your legs every shower. For me, it was a big reality check. I felt good. I was happy,” she continued. “And it wasn't just because I liked someone and that’s great. I think I was happy because I hadn’t felt like this about me for so long.”

Thomas said she realized the significance of sexual wellness when she went to a medispa for a wax. But, she points out, “This wasn’t just a regular medispa. It was about down there care that went far beyond grooming.”

She added, “It was as if the universe was conspiring to help me figure something out. There were so many modern options and treatments available to help somebody get from not really feeling like they want to be intimate, to wanting to make it a priority.”

Thomas — who recently shared that she had her first relationship since becoming a widow this year — said that “when intimacy has been out of the picture for so long, it can be terrifying. Scary. There’s so much insecurity sometimes connected to how you feel about yourself. How comfortable you are being with someone else. Vulnerable on many levels‚ not just naked. And how you think about yourself. And for some, sex is traumatic. That is important to recognize.”

It’s also why she’s speaking out about her sexual wellness journey. “I also feel like it’s important to hear from people like me, that I had the opposite experience,” she shared. “I felt empowered. I felt connected to my own body. I cried. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to feel so comfortable with myself. And honestly? That’s when sex is good. That’s when you want it. It’s when you are good with you, that it’s exciting to share you with somebody else.”

Related: 'Today' 's Bobbie Thomas Pays Tribute to Late Husband Michael Marion on Their Wedding Anniversary

Thomas said that while she doesn’t plan to be like the famed sexual health personality Dr. Ruth, “in my next chapter,” she does want to prioritize talking about it. “I know that when I talk about it with girlfriends, I feel better. It feels good to be supported and that I don’t feel alone. So, let’s talk about it,” she said.

And her first bit of advice for those in her position? “Even if you’re not with somebody or even thinking about intimacy, buy matching underwear. Maybe you’ll feel good and be open to meeting somebody,” Thomas offered.

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