Tipping etiquette part 2: Readers react about their experiences in Naples
True confession: Back in May, I tipped on a meal I never received.
It still bothers me. How could such a thing happen?
It was almost 7 p.m. I was running late from an interview with the gents from Stix Sushi.
Given it would be at least a half-hour to get home, I decided on carry out Chinese from a busy place on Thomasson in Naples because I was hungry and it was getting late for me to cook and then eat.
I perused the menu and ordered chicken and string beans for $10. The gal at the counter said there were no string beans so I asked if they could do chicken with eggplant.
She said yes, insisting on payment before they prepared the dish. No problemo: I paid, then added the change and two bucks to the tip jar.
I was told it would take 25 minutes, so I headed to Publix for gallon jugs of spring water for my furry kids because I don’t like the quality of my tap water.
When returning to the pickup joint, she apologized and said no eggplant. Did I want something else?
By now, it was 7:30 p.m., and I didn’t want to wait as the line was out the door by this point.
Though she graciously refunded my money, I thought it bad form to stick my hand in the tip jar to retrieve the balance.
Money for nothing, sang Dire Straits.
20% of what exactly?
This weekend I headed to brunch at The Rooster (delish as always) with a restaurateur friend. We asked for separate checks. My first check's suggested 20% tipping amount was an even $5, encompassing a $25 food and beverage total. I handed my credit card over.
Upon our server's return, there was a second POS-produced check with a slightly increased amount, 35 cents more. But this time, the suggested tip amounts included tipping on the tax too.
Yes, only pennies more, but if you dine out frequently and don't look at your bill, could something else be included in the suggested amount?
What's your tipping point? Readers weigh in
Since our April story on tipping, etiquette guru Mister Manners has served as the go-to expert for seven TV segments on the topic, including "Inside Edition," NBC Nightly News and local stations. A TED talk too. The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times are no less obsessed, publishing nine stories on the subject since May.
Tipping issues generated more reader emails hitting my inbox than any other topic. A few family-friendly ones are found below.
One said I “overlooked the entire essence of tipping. The word TIP means to ensure promptness. Prompt service has become an oxymoron. No such thing. Or, at best, hard to find. The younger generation thinks they are entitled to a tip. Wrong.”
For the record: when fact-checking if TIPS was an acronym for “to ensure prompt service,” I discovered its English origin is “to give” according to the Oxford English Dictionary.
A server at a popular fine-dining restaurant in Naples chimed in how “tips should always be 20% of the sum after tax, and that 25% is now what’s acceptable.”
I beg to differ, and so did the reader who wrote, “This 25% crap is a bunch of baloney.”
Another called the “aggressive tipping culture at many eateries a downright disrespectful money grab.”
A gent who eats out almost every night said, “As a diner, I have seen menu prices rise a lot, tipping being pushed harder and higher, and many non-corporate eateries charging an extra percentage to pay by credit card. Some places refuse to take American Express now!”
In a town full of early dining specials, what to tip?
One reader asked if she was supposed to tip the original amount on discounted happy hour fare.
In last week's SWFL Eats newsletter (another true confession: due to a technical glitch, only Fort Myers subscribers received it), I said only if you’re feeling generous.
Case in point: When my check arrived during happy hour at the new Giuseppe and the Lion, the suggested gratuity percentage breakdown (18%, 20% or 22%) was based on the food’s price during our time there, not how much they charge later in the evening for the same items.
Reader Tracey Ray made a great point when taking issue with my stance: "I always tip on the full amount before discount. First of all, I just saved a ton of money. But more importantly, did that server do less work to take care of your table at half price vs. full price? The receipt uses the discounted amount because it works based on the total of the bill. There is no way to change that to reflect what the bill would have been. And they can't remove that feature. If you used a gift card to pay for part of a meal, and your check came with the balance after gift card redemption, are you really going to use the suggested tip amount on the bottom of the receipt? I am astonished that you actually recommended that people tip on the discounted happy hour amounts."
Mea culpa.
When heading to Bice late Saturday afternoon as a friend's guest for early dining when food is 50% off, Ms. Ray's letter was on my mind.
When querying the charming hostess on the subject because I arrived early, she said guests should tip the full amount of the menu's listed prices because service efforts are the same no matter the price. She also relayed that most people actually tip on the price they paid.
But Mr. Manners would advise against asking my gracious host for her signed bill so I could gauge how much she tipped.
Related: Tipping out of control? Etiquette expert's advice for minimizing your financial pain
Care to share your tipping tales for possible publication? Hit me up at diana.biederman@naplesnews.com.
This article originally appeared on Naples Daily News: Hot topic: Reader feedback ― mostly gripes ― on tipping continues
