Tina Turner's Former Confidant Eddy Hampton Armani on Her Private World — and How She Survived Ike (Exclusive)

Armani — who was in the late icon's life for 20-plus years — opens up about how the singer found freedom after leaving her abusive marriage to Ike Turner

Eddy Hampton Armani has not been able to grieve the loss of Tina Turner, the beloved Queen of Rock & Roll and his longtime friend of 22 years.

"When I was told Tina died, I froze and went numb. I did not shed a tear. I haven't let it sink in because I was in denial. I screamed in the most horrendous voice, "No, no, no, no!"' says Armani, 65, holding back tears. "She's not here, but to me, she still is. I know when it finally hits me, it will hurt like a ton of bricks."

Even though the two had not communicated in almost 30 years, Armani says he remains close with her family members. "When I saw Tina as such a small youngster, I loved her instantly," he says. "My love for her never stopped."

After all, she had a profound impact on his life.

Armani's adoration for Tina began at 6 years old in the summer of 1964. Overwhelmed with emotions, he fixated on the living room television screen, his eyes wide and unblinking, he remembers.

He was awestruck by Tina, as the raspy-voiced firecracker belted, "I Can't Believe What You Say," alongside Ike Turner on American Bandstand hosted by Dick Clark. As Armani detailed in his 1998 book, The Real T, he knew he was watching a legend.

Armani scoured record stores weekly after school for new Ike & Tina Turner music. After homework, he would sing along to their tunes and dance in front of the mirror, just like the "Proud Mary" singer. He studied her every move and researched everything about her, always ending his evening with a prayer to be her faithful friend.

Soon after, he turned that wish into a reality. He spent a year calling the receptionist of Ike's Bolic Sound Recording Studios to meet Tina at age 12, and then his persistence paid off: He was invited to attend the studio's grand opening, and at age 13, he managed the Ike & Tina Turner fan club.

Later, into the '70s, he integrated himself into every aspect of Tina's day-to-day life, becoming her personal assistant and wardrobe extraordinaire, navigating the challenges of her demanding career. He toured the world with his idol, cooked her meals, sewed her wigs, helped care for her children and lived with her for over a year in the '80s in Sherman Oaks, California. Their connection extended beyond professional boundaries, developing into a deep friendship. When she laughed, he laughed — he finished her sentences, and she finished his, he recalls.

Over the phone in London, he reflects on her final months. "She knew her days were coming," Armani says he was told. She had been on dialysis in Chateau Algonquin, her sprawling home near Zurich in Switzerland, battling numerous health conditions over the past decade, including high blood pressure, a stroke in 2013, intestinal cancer in 2016, and organ failure.

In 2017 she received a kidney from her husband and German record executive Erwin Bach. The two dated for 27 years and were married for 10 of them. The couple shared many milestones throughout their decades-long relationship that Armani — who didn't get along with Bach — wasn't there to witness.

Still, "he did fall in love with Tina, and they were in love," Armani acknowledges. Tina also credited her husband for teaching her to love and be herself.

Related: Who Is Tina Turner's Husband? All About Erwin Bach

As a 12-time Grammy winner, Tina was undeniably one of the greatest live performers in music history, with over 200 million records sold. She was voted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice, with Ike in 1991 and as a solo artist 30 years later. After announcing retirement in 2000, she returned to the stage eight years later for her 50th-anniversary tribute. She spent a year on tour until May 2009, when Armani says her health deteriorated. "She shouldn't have done that tour," says Armani. "That tour is what kicked her ass."

Though Tina's life story has been told many times, she was never able to escape her difficult past. PEOPLE's 1981 bombshell interview exposed Ike's cruelty, and her memoir-turned-movie, and the HBO documentary Tina, further detailed Tina's abusive marriage with Ike. The relationship was filled with emotional and physical violence, and it eventually led to her escaping and divorcing him in 1978.

Related: Tina Turner Revealed Harrowing Night She Escaped Ike Turner's Abuse: 'I Was Living a Life of Death' (Exclusive)

"It was just time to not take any more. It was constantly abusive, other things going on, there was no control, there was no freedom, it was just the same this, same this and the violence. You just get fed up and you say, 'Life is not worth living if I’m going to stay in this situation,'" Tina recalled to PEOPLE in 1981.

Says Armani: "The writing was on the wall. We all knew she was going to leave him." Afterward, he says the real growth and change began when Tina released her two solo albums, Tina Turns the Country On! and Acid Queen. "She felt a different kind of freedom."

When Tina filmed the 1975 rock-opera movie Tommy, she began mingling with celebrities like Hollywood bombshell Ann-Margret, who feverishly shook her hips alongside Elvis in Viva Las Vegas. "Tina was now out of Ike's watch and control. Then she started saying, 'Oh, wow, there is a life out there!' I mean, Ike really did control her, and she feared him. We all did."

Although the public did not understand why the most iconic music couple had suddenly parted ways, Tina didn't have time to dwell on her past. She and Armani started touring, even though she was broke and in debt. She had never handled bookings, money, or live performances, and everyone she knew had ties to Ike. (She later credited David Bowie for reviving her career.)

Armani says those times were trying. Twice Tina's home was set on fire, he recalls, and a shotgun had blown out the windows in her home and car. Tina remained fearful of her ex for years to come. "We were always on high alert and slept on the floor. None of us slept in our beds, not even the boys. We were all terrified. This man haunted us," he says.

As time passed, Tina did everything she could to avoid contact with Ike. "She didn't want to upset or piss him off," says Armani. "The easiest thing set him off."

In December of 1982, Armani says Tina rang him in a panic. She wanted to buy a tree and decorate it with colored lights. "I need some help," Armani recalls she said to him. Tina also wanted to cook a festive dinner and decorate the house for all her kids to come over. On Christmas Eve, the two seasoned and stuffed the turkey, and cooked cornbread, ham, and a few Southern soul food dishes and greens. "What's wrong?" Armani asked Tina on the phone the next evening. She told him no one had shown up on Christmas.

He rushed over so she wouldn't be alone as she began to cry, he remembers: "Tina wasn't a crybaby. She never cried in front of people. But you could feel her pain when they didn't show up or tell her. It really hurt her. I remember her saying, 'I guess I wasn't a good mother.'"

Over time, Armani had learned many things about Tina, this among them: She loved her children, but she was not a great mother — something she acknowledged in her 1986 autobiography.

Aside from her first son Craig, she had become "a little bit estranged" from her children, she wrote in I, Tina. By October 1989, she had also cut off her children financially. "I'm still there for the boys, but I'm not going to let them use me," she later told Australia's TV Week.

Related: Tina Turner's Children: Everything to Know About the Music Legend's 4 Sons

Tina welcomed Craig (born Raymond Craig) with Kings of Rhythm saxophonist Raymond Hill in August 1958, when she was 18. He was later adopted by Ike and died by suicide in 2018. Tina also adopted Ike's two sons, Ike Jr. and Michael, from his previous relationship with Lorraine Taylor. In October 1960, Tina had her and Ike's first and only child together, son Ronnie Turner, who died of complications from colon cancer last year.

"It was hard for Tina because she didn't grow up with love around her. Ike was horrible. But Tina did try," says Armani.

Armani never had his chance to say goodbye to Tina and says he was paralyzed by the possibility of being rejected by her. "I get emotional thinking about it because I know Tina is gone. You can love someone and don't have to speak to them every day. I made this woman a part of my life and will cherish it. She will always be in my thoughts and memories," he says. "I'll tell you something: I never stopped loving her, and I never will."

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