The 'Walking Dead' Brain-Dead Move of the Week: Turd on a Wire


Every week on The Walking Dead, someone does something stupid that needlessly endangers the lives of themselves and others. Here, we commemorate those decisions in the hopes that they won’t be repeated. But of course, they know they will be.

(First, let’s get this out of the way: Yes, Glenn is alive. But we’re here to discuss the dumb moves made by this show’s characters, not by its writers. Zing!)

Deanna seems like a reasonably intelligent woman… so how did her sons turn out to be such morons? First, we met Aiden, the frat-boy jerk who shot at a live grenade (yes, really) and wound up impaled on a metal bar as a result. And now there’s Spencer, who’s doing his best to challenge his late brother in the lack-of-brains department.

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You remember Spencer: He’s the guy who yelled at everyone for raiding the Alexandria food pantry, then stole food and booze for himself and blamed his mother for everything that’s ever gone wrong in their lives. Now he wants to make up for that, so he comes up with a plan to redeem himself. Well, maybe the word “plan” is giving him too much credit.

Rick and Tobin hear some noise and see Spencer shimmying across a wire outside the walls, with dozens of zombies grasping at him underneath. And Rick, aka Alexandria’s angry dad, doesn’t like it one bit!


Did we mention the wire is attached to a very rusty grappling hook? We understand Spencer is trying to be a hero, but maybe there’s a better way to get outside the walls? How about that magical tunnel Aaron showed Maggie a couple weeks ago? Oh right, we’re not supposed to remember that exists. Anyway, of course the hook gives way, and Spencer ends up tumbling right into the herd of walkers:


Boy, good thing he happened to fall into that open clearing with no zombies in it, huh? Clearly, the writers have other plans for Spencer, because he manages to escape certain death and climb up the wall using the severed rope. Tara shoots the walkers nearest to Spencer while Rick, Tobin, and Morgan pull him to safety. And the zombies play along by choosing to paw helplessly at Spencer’s legs rather than taking a big bite out of them. How polite of them!


Spencer’s such an idiot, he actually complains about the fact that he lost his shoe in the melee. Hey buddy, you’re lucky you still have your intestines, alright? And for some reason, Rick yells at Tara for helping Spencer. Aren’t you doing the same thing, Rick? To her credit, Tara gives him the only response he deserves:


But really, Deanna’s lucky she has any kids left alive at this point, with all the stupid decisions they’ve been making. If they do ever decide to repopulate the planet, let’s maybe just let that bloodline die out, huh?

Runner-Up: Whoever put the mousy Olivia in charge of the Alexandria weapons stash. Jessie’s angst-ridden son Ron easily distracts her with some spilled supplies in order to sneak in and grab some ammo for the gun Rick’s been training him to use. And we’re thinking he might want to use that ammo to do some target practice on the Grimes boys. Don’t say we didn’t warn you, Rick.

The Walking Dead airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on AMC.