We’ve had some jaw-dropping elimination nights this Voice season, but this Tuesday’s top 10 results were so utterly un-shocking, I may as well have written this recap in advance. And, well, I sort of did: On Monday, I predicted that Season 10’s Coach Comeback picks, Team Pharrell’s Daniel Passino and Team Xtina’s Nick Hagelin, would land in the bottom two. And, after they wound up dead last in this week’s iTunes rankings (Nick at #92, Daniel way down at #186), that’s exactly what happened on Tuesday. I also predicted that Daniel would be the contestant going home – and, once again, I was right.
But there was still a shocker this Tuesday: It was downright startling how horrific Daniel’s Twitter Save sing-off performance – a flubbed-lyric, dinner-cruising, funk-free rendition of the very ill-advised “Uptown Funk” – truly was. This may have been THE worst Voice performance since that time Erin Martin inexplicably won a Battle over the Shields Brothers in Season 2. Maybe even worse than that. It certainly wasn’t smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy. But it was cheesier than an old box of Velveeta.
Call the po-lice and the fireman, indeed, because this onstage disaster needed to be shut down. (Incidentally, that’s the “Uptown Funk” line that Daniel screwed up.) Don’t believe me, just watch:
Make a Voice reporter want to retire, man. So who told Daniel that attempting to cover Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson, two of the coolest cats in pop, was a good idea? Well, maybe Pharrell Williams did. Despite being Daniel’s own coach and the one who invited Daniel back to the show in the first place – a move that I suspect Pharrell soon came to regret – Pharrell was throwing under Daniel under so many buses this week, I half-expected to see tire tracks across the back of Daniel’s white lounge-singer jacket. Pharrell unsmilingly pointed out Daniel’s “pitch issues” on Monday, and then this Tuesday he repeatedly, prematurely bid Daniel farewell, rambling stuff like: “At the end of the day, America controls the fate, your position on this show. I am happy with what it is you’ve done and happy with the things you’ve learned and achieved… If these were [your] last moments on the show, I would like to highlight and emphasize the fact this show is about growth… If this is it, congratulations. This is the beginning of your life.“
Damn, Daniel. That was rough.
Nick’s syrupy Twitter Save performance of Ed Sheeran’s wedding-dance ballad “Thinking Out Loud” was hardly amazing, but #VoiceSaveNoOne and #VoiceSaveNeither weren’t official options. (If only NBC had taken a cue from Logo and unveiled a double-elimination twist. RuPaul’s Drag Race has told two contestants to “sashay away” on the same night, you know.) Anyway, Nick did make the better effort. Truth be told, neither Nick nor Daniel should have ever been brought back to the show in the first place, but what’s done is done. At least this week, America got it right. (According to one onscreen real-time tally, it was about 81 percent of America that got it right, in favor of Nick. Wow.)
America has gotten it right before – like in Season 8, when Sawyer Fredericks won the entire competition. And a highlight of this Tuesday’s otherwise face-palming results show was the 17-year-old singer-songwriter’s triumphant return, as he performed his brooding, stormy new single, “4 Pockets” (which premiered last week on Yahoo Music; hear the recording below). He sounded like such a baby badass, I suddenly has this dream of Sawyer going on tour with Adam Wakefield and Laith Al-Saadi. Can you even imagine the jam sessions?
If only host Carson Daly had bothered to actually interview Sawyer after his performance – but I guess Carson needed to ensure there was time left over for his usual insipid line of questioning for the current contestants, like “What does it feel like to have that kind of support from Christina?” and “How important is it that you show America your versatility?” Snooze. #AskThemMore
— jamie ❤️ sawyer (@leejamie767)May 4, 2016
So there you have it. Now we are down to a top nine, and, if America keeps getting it right, eventually a strong top four. But whatever happens after this, I think it’s safe to say that no one other than Bruno Mars (or maybe Chris Jamison) should ever perform “Uptown Funk” on The Voice again. Let’s all watch this palate-cleansing Bruno performance from the series’ Season 7 finale and remember happier, funkier times. See you next week: