'The Voice' Blind Auditions, Pt. 4: It's Not Easy Being Green

The final full episode of The Voice Season 8 Blind Auditions aired Tuesday (Wednesday, we’ll get a clip show, and the Battle Rounds will jarringly begin midway through next Monday’s episode), but it didn’t seem like producers saved the best for last. There were a few standout singers, but so many of them were so nervous and so skerred! After seven Voice seasons of seasoned contestants who’d sung backup for Jimmy Cliff or Alicia Keys or had had 10 major-label deals, this current parade of green newbies, all shaking like green leaves, was a bit disconcerting. I kept feeling like I was watching American Idol.

But of course, the talent was there — sometimes raw talent, but talent nonetheless. Here’s how Tuesday’s auditions went:

Ashley Morgan – This theme park backup singer for some reason chose to do “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston, a song that can quickly turn into pure karaoke cheese when sung by anyone other than, well, Whitney Houston. It was basically a theme park performance. I was utterly baffled when Blake Shelton and Pharrell Williams spun around strangely enthusiastically and acted like Adele herself had just walked onstage, falling all over themselves and really going in for the hard sell. “I have not been this excited about an artist in a long freakin’ time,” claimed Blake. (“Long freakin’ time” = since Episode 2, Season 8. Come on, Blake says that as often as the other line he used on Ashley this Tuesday, “There’s nobody’s like you in this competition.”) But none of Blake’s lines were as silly as the pageant answer Ashley gave regarding her career goals: “I want to make music that makes a difference in this world.” Blech. Anyway, even after Blake’s tried-and-true one-liners, Ashley picked Pharrell. Well, Pharrell has a pretty strong team this year; he has to have some contestants that are Battle Rounds fodder, right? Sadly for Ashley, I think she’ll be one of them. I have a hunch that the enthusiasm Pharrell displayed, while trying to woo Ashley to his team, will soon wane.
MEMBER OF: Team Pharrell

Koryn Hawthorne – This 16-year-old babydiva, who works in both a pizza shop and an old age home, showcased a nicely smoky, husky tone on “My Kind of Love” that sounded so mature (or “bonkers mature,” as Adam Levine put it), Adam actually thought she was 40 years old before he got a look at her. (That was a compliment, by the way.) Christina Aguilera said she could tell that Koryn had already lived through a lot, to have a voice filled with so much emotion and pain. Koryn’s performance was a little messy, but it showed promise; with the right coaching, this diamond in the rough could polish right up. And former teen singer Christina definitely seems like the right coach. Koryn made the correct choice here.
MEMBER OF: Team Xtina

Lexi Davila – Along with Ashley, this was another contestant I didn’t quite get. Why were Adam and Blake so keen for Lexi? The shy 17-year-old’s amateurish cover of Selena’s “Dreaming of You” was so shaky, and her runs were all over the place. I expected the coaches to send her on her way with some words of encouragement and an invitation to try out next year after she works on her craft, but instead she got a two-chair turn. Wise holdout Pharrell admitted he hadn’t turned because he could hear her nerves, but both Adam and Blake seemed confident that they could fix her vocal issues. Adam prevailed this time, but he has his work cut out for him. Lexi seems kind of fodder-y to me.
MEMBER OF: Team Adam

Josh Batstone, Katelyn Read, Ameera Delandro, and Bay Brooks – Annnnd speaking of fodder, here’s yet another montage. And a FOUR-person montage, yet, which means each contestant’s usual five seconds of air time was whittled down to about two. Oh, these poor kids. There’s barely even enough footage here to figure out what songs they’re singing, let alone figure out if they can actually sing. Adding insult to injury: Carson Daly awkwardly and unflatteringly describing Ameera as a “soulful insurance underwriter.” Who comes up with this stuff?
MEMBERS OF: Team Adam, Team Xtina, Team Xtina, and Team Blake, respectively

Brenna Yaeger – This 19-year-old, like Lexi, seemed very nervous, and that too affected her performance. Suffice to say, Brenna’s cover of “The House That Built Me,” by Miranda Lambert, didn’t have Miranda’s fire. But her voice was very pretty, very pure, and it was a major compliment that Blake actually turned for her. Adam went onstage to give the trembling Brenna a supportive hug, and she seemed to need it — but even after that kind gesture, Adam still had no chance over Mr. Miranda Lambert himself.
MEMBER OF: Team Blake

Jeremy Gaynor – Jeremy is the kind of contestant America loves. He’s a military man from a long line of military men, he’s the lead singer of the West Point band, he has a baby on the way, and he just seems like an all-around stand-up guy. He’s a solid singer, too, but he’s just so old-fashioned. (This is a similar observation/complaint I made about last season’s Damien Lawson, whose single “Soldier” perhaps not coincidentally played in the background during Jeremy’s segment.) Nevertheless, Jeremy’s cover of the Carpenters’ “Superstar” garnered a four-chair turn. Christina won this round, and she definitely seems like the best match for Jeremy — but if he were to win, as Christina so boldly and prematurely predicted, I wonder what sort of post-Voice career he’d have. America’s TV-viewers will love Jeremy, but America’s record-buyers may not.
MEMBER OF: Team Xtina

Jack Gregori – It was probably a bad sign that Blake didn’t turn for this struggling, pushing-40 country singer. In fact, the only coach who did turn was Adam! There was nothing wrong with Jack’s “Ring of Fire” cover, but it didn’t stand out. There are better country singers this season, and many of them are on Team Blake. But Jack is now on Team Adam by default.
MEMBER OF: Team Adam

Briar Jonnee – This small-town dreamer, who covered “Take a Bow,” may have had a stronger voice than Rihanna’s (not that that’s saying much), but she didn’t have any of RiRi’s charisma or interesting vocal character. This was a nice but ultimately forgettable performance. It was difficult to imagine this girl winning, or even getting past the Battles, but Pharrell seemed to see something in her. Well, he’s often right about these things. So I’ll give Briar the benefit of the doubt and see if Pharrell can coax this young and nervous contestant out of her shell.
MEMBER OF: Team Pharrell

Brian Johnson – Brian could have a brilliant career as gospel singer. He has an inspirational backstory — he overcame a bullied childhood, married his childhood sweetheart, then put his musical dreams on hold to care for his ailing father — and there was a real soulful, from-the-gut, evangelical tone to his voice as he belted Tim Hardin’s “Reason to Believe.” I think heartland America will adore this guy. He’s the kind of contestant people really root for — especially now that he’s on Team Blake. Yes, Blake tossed off his usual line, “There’s nobody like you on my team” — but this time it was actually true, and this time it worked like a charm.
MEMBER OF: Team Blake

Corey Kent White – Apparently every singing show nowadays needs it own Hunter Hayes. American Idol Season 14 has Riley Bria, and The Voice Season 8 has this guy. Corey was one kid who was not nervous. At all. His years of gigging in high school and college (and once, by chance, with Willie Nelson) was evident. His cover of the Zac Brown Band’s “Chicken Fried” may not have showcased the strongest voice in the competition, but it showcased Corey’s undeniable likability and marketability. Do I even need to tell you which coach Corey chose? Come on, he’s from Oklahoma, the home state of both Blake Shelton and Blake’s currently successful Season 4 alumni, the Swon Brothers. Corey Kent White and Blake Shelton just go together like Pharrell Williams and funny hats.
MEMBER OF: Team Blake

So for those of you keeping track, Adam’s team now consists of Lexi Davila, John Bastone, Jack Gregori, and previous recruits Michael Leier, James McNeice, Bren’nae DeBarge, Nicolette Mare, Barry Minniefield, Tonya Boyd-Cannon, Blaze Johnson, and Deanna Johnson. Team Pharrell has Ashley Morgan, Briar Jonnee, and earlier auditioners Kimberly Nichole, Travis Ewing, Noelle Bybee, Anthony Riley, Mia Z, Lowell Oakley, Meghan Linsey, and Sawyer Fredericks. Team Xtina features Koryn Hawthorne, Katelyn Read, Ameera Delandro, Jeremy Gaynor, Sonic, Clinton Washington, India Carney, Gabriel Wolfchild, Joe Tolo, Rob Taylor, and Treeva Gibson. And Team Blake comprises Bay Brooks, Brenna Yaeger, Brian Johnson, Corey Kent White, Kelsie May, Jacob Rummell, Matt Snook, Brooke Adee, Sarah Potenza, Cody Wickline, and Joshua Davis.

Phew! That’s a lot of names! Going through that long, long list, I still think Adam has the weakest team and Pharrell has the strongest, and that is unlikely to change next week, since next Monday’s episode wraps up the rest of the Blinds and then segues straight into the Battles. Will any of the coaches change their odds with a last-minute team recruit (or steal) next Monday? Tune in then and find out.

Follow Lyndsey on Twitter, Instagram, Google+, Amazon, Tumblr, Vine, Spotify