On Sunday’s Golden Globe Awards broadcast, Ricky Gervais wasted no time in taking a few shots at Hollywood. He opened the show by walking in with a glass of beer and telling the audience to “shut up, you disgusting, pill-popping, sexual-deviant scum.” He added: “I want to do this monologue and go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me. Snitch.” His insults hit many of the celebrities in attendance: Ricky called Matt Damon “the only person that Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.”
As the host and a previous Golden Globe recipient, he put winning the award into perspective. “Remember: No one cares about that award as much as you do. Don’t get emotional — it’s embarrassing, OK? That award is, no offense, worthless. It’s a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you, OK? That’s all it is. I’ve got three Golden Globes myself. One’s a doorstop, one I hit burglars with, and one I keep by my bed. It’s the right shape and size. To be clear, that’s a joke about me shoving Golden Globes — that I’ve won! — up my ass. And they asked me to host four times!”
Watch all the best moments of the ladies the Golden Globes.