The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Reveal What They Want for Christmas

Clark Gregg (Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC)
Clark Gregg (Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC)

It’s that time of year — a time when the thoughts of even the most hardened of S.H.I.E.L.D agents turn to the holidays and presents under the Christmas tree / menorah / interstellar monolith gateway. Sure, there are renegade androids to be dealt with and unholy books of magic to be contained. But for now, let’s curl up in front of the fire (the kind without a skull attached) and see what the team is hoping to unwrap this year.

Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg)
“A new left hand,” says Gregg. “He just loves Fitz’s upgrades so much. They always have new features; it’s like getting a new iPhone. So I think that’s what he wants. I mean, he got the shield — I don’t want to be greedy. The shield that comes out of the hand is pretty good. I’m really hoping at some point, he’ll have something where he’ll just point down to the ground and fly like Daisy does.”

In the Marvel universe, Coulson is the humanity that reminds the heroes what it is they’re fighting for, so he’ll never have superpowers. But with his prosthetic hand, he’s almost like a junior varsity version of Iron Man. The energy shield is obviously the perfect upgrade on many levels – Coulson’s idol is Captain America, he’s protective of his team, he works for S.H.I.E.L.D. There’s no reason we might not see some sort of flight upgrade in the future, though. Or at least maybe repulsor beams?

Holden Radcliffe (John Hannah)
“A new robot! My old ones keep breaking down. Or being deceased. I don’t know — do you ‘decease’ a robot or do you just unplug it? Certainly, they’re sent to the knacker’s yard occasionally.”

This is one the big questions as we wait for the show’s return next year: Are Professor Radcliffe’s creations “breaking down”? Have they escaped his control? Or is he aware of Aida’s kidnapping and replacing of Agent May? Does he have a plan?

John Hannah, Mallory Jansen (Credit: ABC)
John Hannah, Mallory Jansen (Credit: ABC)

Jeffrey Mace (Jason O’Mara)
“I think he wants peace. World peace, but between humans and Inhumans specifically. I think he’s really genuine about that. We’ve seen that some aspects of his character are questionable, but I think no matter what, he’s genuine about his fight to try to unite humans and Inhumans.”

Where Radcliffe’s mistakes might signal malice, Director Mace seems to be a good man who’s just in over his head. While he’s quite skilled at the PR side of things, he lacks Coulson’s decades of spy experience. Will he have time to grow into his role before the next catastrophe strikes S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ?

Leo Fitz (Iain De Caestecker)
“A drone. He does have the Seven Dwarves. They haven’t been in action in a while. Maybe he wants an eighth dwarf. A Snow White. He wants a drone called Snow White.”

It’s been a while since we’ve seen any fancy gizmos coming out of Fitz’s lab. Sure, he’s usually too busy coming up with solutions to the week’s latest crisis, but they really should give him time to crank out more toys. They’re spies, for crying out loud! Let Fitz have his drone. And while we’er at it, how about more laser pens, more upgrades to Coulson’s hand, and more stuff that would make James Bond jealous?

Elizabeth Henstridge, Henry Simmons (Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC)
Elizabeth Henstridge, Henry Simmons (Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC)

Jemma Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge)
“She wants a breakfast nook. She wants a new place to live. She wants a new apartment. She wants to be able to fluff pillows and host Christmas and have weird hydrogen ice cream topped with cesium candy. She wants to make all this weird s**t in the kitchen, but she can’t. So, yeah — she wants a homestead, I think. She’s kind of ready to be settled now. Whether she’ll ever get her breakfast nook and her apartment, who knows? But she’s gunning for it!”

A lot has changed for Simmons this season; her new role at S.H.I.E.L.D. is forcing her far out of her comfort zone in the lab. Not only that, but her relationship with Fitz — which should be providing solace — is another source of stress as both are forced to keep secrets from each other. A breakfast nook wouldn’t solve everything, but as anyone who’s ever had to hunt for an apartment can tell you, it sure helps.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns to ABC January 10 at 10 p.m. Watch clips and full episodes of S.H.I.E.L.D. for free on Yahoo View.