The 2016 Holiday Gift Guide for Ridiculous and Overpriced Celebrity Products

Gift guides usually are divided into standard categories, such as presents for dads, dog lovers, or fitness fanatics. But there aren’t enough suggestions for celebrity fanatics — people who mourned the tragic split of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, coveted Rihanna’s bold style, and enjoyed every out-there quote that philosopher-in-training Willow Smith dropped in the last 12 months. This year, we’ve tracked down some celebrity products just as ridiculous and extravagant as the world of celebrity itself and divided them into very specific categories for your convenience. Happy shopping!

For the romantic still reeling from the Brangelina split: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Miraval wine, $98-$139 for six bottles.

Wine from the French estate the A-listers share — and, sniff, where they were married — would impress at a party. After all, it’s a piece of celebrity history. Who knows what will happen to the brand in years to come? Even if it continues, presumably the ownership will change, and sipping a glass of it will probably feel different to Brangelina fans. In fact, you might want to buy a bottle for yourself to keep for posterity.

For the person who misses Miley’s sweet dog Floyd: Miley Cyrus’s Floyd hood, $24.95

Cyrus turned her sadness about the 2014 loss of her pup Floyd into exactly the kind of fashion statement she would make. It’s a bonus that it captures the cuteness of her beloved pooch. However, you should probably avoid giving it to anyone who has cats.

For the person who shares Whoopi’s love of goofy holiday garb: Whoopi Goldberg’s ugly holiday sweater, $100-$139

The View co-host understands that no one should be without a quality piece at this year’s ugly-sweater party. Seriously, why go to a secondhand store when you can spend more than the cost of a family’s holiday feast on a cashmere sweater from Lord & Taylor? You might even wear it more than once!

For the person who can’t get enough celebrity gossip: Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins book, $16.06 (hardcover)

Not everyone will cross paths with Leonardo DiCaprio, Demi Lovato, or Woody Allen in their lives, but they can feel like they did with the stories that Griffin tells about them in her latest tome. And because the storyteller is Kathy Griffin, expect them to be hilarious. Note: The book should pair well with the Miraval wine.

For the person who loves to get the party started: Flo Rida’s South Beach Cocktail Set, $216

The Miami rapper’s collection for lifestyle company Pop Culture Living “combines a sense of celebrity bling with high-class living and an affinity for all things beautiful,” or at least that’s what the website promises. Can’t you just see your friends mingling over this set to the tune of “My House”? The only issue is that the tray pictured is the entire “set.” The accessories are going to cost at least $106 more. #celebrityproblems

For the Trump supporter who likes to stand out: Ivanka Trump’s mixed cut diamond cuff bracelet, $47,000

Wow. Ivanka’s mixed cut diamond cuff, made of diamonds and 18-karat white gold, is a stunner. In fact, the piece from Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry might attract so much attention at your family’s holiday gathering that you won’t have time to argue over the presidential election. Everyone wins! (Except, of course, the kids whose college tuition was spent on the jewelry.)

For the person looking for wisdom from a 16-year-old: Willow Smith’s Earth vs. Cosmo socks, $18

The precocious daughter of actors Will and Jada Pinkett Smith (and sister of superhero Jaden Smith) designed a line of socks for Stance that actually would make an affordable stocking stuffer. And yet it still captures Willow perfectly, with whimsical designs and names for each of the styles. “I just learned that each time we see a full moon, it’s one-quarter of a centimeter farther away from Earth!” the teen told Vogue when her collection was announced. “That just inspires me to show the world that crazy shifts and happenings aren’t just occurring on Earth. Things are going on in all corners of the universe.” See?

For the woman who dislikes traditional sweatpants: Rihanna’s faux fur sweatpants, $1,200

We admit the audience for this product is small, if it does in fact exist. The luxe piece from RiRi’s Fenty for Puma collection should be just as comfortable as the sweats you’ve worn in the past — they still feature pockets and an elastic waistband — but they’ll just be a lot more stylish and a lot more expensive.

For the person who likes to act out the “Suit & Tie“ video: Justin Timberlake’s Collector’s Keepin’ It Classy bow tie, $14.95

Anyone can look (well, almost) as good as the former NSync star does when he’s all fancied up in his 2013 clip with Jay Z. The recipient can even brag about being endorsed by Timberlake himself, since “JT” is printed all over the tie. Voice and dance moves not included.

For the person who exclusively uses celebrity emojis to communicate: Kim Kardashian’s Kimoji cry face collage wrapping paper, $35

Celebrity enthusiasts will be thrilled with anything packaged in Kim K.’s gift wrap. Which is good, because after buying it you won’t have a lot left over for buying something to wrap! The paper also is likely to inspire stimulating conversation about the Kardashian clan. Will Kim one day be our first lady? How soon will Dream and North get their own spinoff? The possibilities are endless.