Tayler Holder Describes the Pain of the Past Year: 'I Didn't Really Even Care If I Woke Up' (Exclusive)

"People that actually know me know that it's just absolutely ridiculous," the TikTok star tells PEOPLE as he denies sexual assault allegations

Tayler Holder admits his mistakes — and he made a big one last year.

"We don't ever wear helmets when we ride our pit bikes, but I probably should have," the 25-year-old TikTok star tells PEOPLE in a recent interview. "We built a pretty gnarly track outside of my house in Texas and I was out there the day before Thanksgiving. It was raining and all muddy, and I came over this triple step up and it just threw me over the bars. Basically, the bike came over and landed on my face."

Holder sprained his shoulder and suffered a broken nose, which required surgery a few days later. But today, Holder says he's feeling just fine. "I'm good," he says from a recording studio in his Nashville home. "I'm back sparring and getting punched in the face again."

Holder lets out a hearty laugh, but there seems to be some leftover pain that can be heard in his voice. And this sort of pain might not be the physical kind.

"This last year has definitely been everything other than what I thought it was going to be," Holder says quietly. "The internet can be so messed up. There are so many people that get thrown in at such a young age and they're always held to such high standards. Any time you do anything wrong, it's so blown out of proportion because your life is so public."

He experienced this firsthand starting back in January of 2022, when sexual assault allegations began circulating social media driven by what Holder calls "jealous young influencers."

"A lot of the world obviously has heard all these crazy things about me, but the people that actually know me know that it's just absolutely ridiculous," Holder says. "We live in a weird world where you can say whatever you want and people just run with it, with absolutely zero amount of proof."

Holder denies the accusations, telling PEOPLE they were completely and utterly false. "There's been zero proof of anything," he continues, his voice raising with each syllable. "I haven't done anything to anybody. I'm 25 years old. Of course, I'm sexually active. I'm a grown-ass man. But there's all these things that get said about me that's just so far from the truth."

Anger begins to build in Holder's voice.

"That's how the internet works. Everyone's a coward. They all hide behind this stuff."

Nevertheless, Holder still finds himself dealing with the consequences of the allegations, including Holder losing over 1.4 million followers on Instagram and 2 million followers on TikTok during the height of the scandal.

"Almost everyone just unfollowed me," remembers Holder, who says he is currently single. "I didn't really care if I even woke up the next morning."

Related:Tayler Holder Is Single — but Still Finds Love in the New Acoustic Version of 'Marry You'

In October of 2022, Holder moved out of Los Angeles in favor of the somewhat calmer waters of Music City, where he now finds himself collaborating with singer/songwriters such as Shay Mooney from Dan + Shay and Parker McCollum.

"People think I fled L.A. because I did all these horrible things," continues Holder, whose acoustic version of his current single "Marry You" recently premiered exclusively on PEOPLE. "They say I fell off. But honestly, I didn't fall off. I honestly believe that I fell right with God, to be honest with you. It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me in the worst way possible. It was a weird way of God to show me who shouldn't be a part of my life, you know?"

But the pain remains.

"Every day of my life, it's still f---s with me mentally," says Holder, who hopes to have a new EP out later this spring. "I've always been a kid that was so energetic and so happy — I've never dealt with anxiety or depression or anything like that. But the thing that f---ed me up the most was the fact that all these people that I considered so close to me never once came to me and asked if I was OK, even when they knew I was at the absolute lowest moment of my life."

He concludes, "I'll never be OK with the way these people painted me. I'm absolutely not that person."

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