T.J. Miller on Raiders of the Lost Ark and a bag of Cheetos from Steven Spielberg

The Silicon Valley vet -- who stars on the big screen in Office Christmas Party (out Dec. 9) -- is set to return as host of the Critics' Choice Awards (A&E, Dec. 11, 8 p.m. ET/PT). Before the 35-year-old comedian hits the stage, let's see what he puts on the page.

1. In Deadpool, you play a barkeep named Weasel. Pick the pop culture bar you want to get drunk in:
A. Cheers, Cheers
B. Mos Eisley Cantina, Star Wars
C. Moe's Tavern, The Simpsons
D. Double Deuce, Road House

"Moe's Tavern. I grew up on The Simpsons, and nostalgia is a wonderful thing. Also, who can get drunker -- Homer Simpson or me? We'll find out the answer. And oh, that decor!"

2. The app that you can't live without...
Shazam, because when you hear a great song, you want to own it.

...and the app that you can't live with:
Waze, because there are no shortcuts.

3. What is your most misguided karaoke experience?
"My friend and I used to sing 'We Didn't Start the Fire' by Billy Joel, but halfway through we just kept saying, 'Davy Crockett, Davy Crockett' to every single word. It was both inspirational and ridiculous."

4. You're the lead voice in next summer's Emojimovie: Express Yourself. Which emoji sums up your reaction?
"I texted my wife too many smiley faces with heart eyes. (I even sent the swirly fish-cake emoji. What is that about?)"

5. You'll star in Steven Spielberg's 2018 adaptation of Ready Player One. Into which Spielberg movie would you digitally insert yourself?
A. Jaws
B. Raiders of the Lost Ark
C. E.T.
D. Jurassic Park
E. Hook
F. Saving Private Ryan

"Raiders of the Lost Ark. That is a real hero's tale! It has one of the funniest moments in film history: This maniac has an insane display of swordsmanship, and Harrison Ford just shoots him. I'd love to play the guy he shoots. I'm pretty fancy with a battle-ax—and not bad with a sword."

6. What is the weirdest thing in your freezer?
"I'll go check right now... [He checks.] There is a bag of Cheetos that Steven Spielberg gave me. Why? Because we have to preserve that future relic!"

7. You played Ranger Jones in Yogi Bear. Which cartoon animal would you most like to throw down with?
"Droopy the dog. Because a sadsack doesn’t put up much of a fight."

8. As a star of Office Christmas Party, you are required to describe the ugliest Christmas sweater you’ve ever worn.
"It had a picture of me on it wearing a Santa hat. And it was a Christmas vest, because I don’t know the difference between a sweater and a vest. I only know about sweater vests."

9. Hosting gaffe you're most likely to commit at the Critics' Choice Awards:
A. Let obscenity slip
B. Trip on stage and fall into audience
C. Announce wrong winner
D. Forget to show up to event

"E. All of the above. And forget to wear shoes."