SYTYCD Judge Mary Murphy Recalls the 'Life-Changing' Moment Stephen 'tWitch' Boss 'Started to Soar'

Mary Murphy is remembering all that Stephen "tWitch" Boss brought to the dance floor — and the world — following his sudden death.

The So You Think You Can Dance judge, 64, tells PEOPLE she's been struggling to accept the fact that Boss is gone since news of his death broke on Wednesday.

"We're all just throwing our hands up in the air and we just can't even grasp it," she says of Boss, who competed on the reality competition show in 2008, ending season 4 as a runner-up and later returning as an All-Star. He also served as a judge when the show returned in 2022.

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"Every time he has been on the set, or we've been at some place where we're doing autographs or an upfront... it was always just joy, laughter, hugs, having a good time," she continues. "It's really just taken us by surprise. And just once again, we're reminded sometimes of that sometimes you just can't see what's going on with someone. And this one seems to be harder than most."

Walter McBride/Getty, Araya Doheny/FilmMagic

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Murphy said she "fell to the ground in just utter disbelief" after learning the news of Boss's death. Since then, she hasn't been able to stop thinking about his family — including his wife, fellow SYTYCD star Allison Holker Boss — and the good times they shared with their SYTYCD family.

"We couldn't have been happier when the two of them got together, and then we were all whispering, maybe we'll have our first So You Think You Can Dance wedding, and we were all so excited about that," she recalls. "He had told me one time that he desperately wanted to be a father. He said his father was never there for him, and that he wanted to give everything to his kids... I just can't believe they're not going to have their father around."

She adds, "Me and Nigel [Lythgoe] just feel like Mama Bear and Papa Bear. And so proud of Twitch and everything that he was doing. And then it was a big full circle moment for us when he came back and judged on the show. And it was really the best of times."

Allison Holker/Instagram Stephen "tWitch" Boss with his wife Allison and family

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Above all, Murphy remembers Boss's determination and grit during his time on the dance competition show.

"His defining moment in his entire career was when he was denied for almost three seasons. He came back the third year in that moment, when he was still not doing well during the Las Vegas week, and he had to keep fighting... after everything he's been through, he gave us a solo that was so spectacular," she recalls. "It was done to classical music, and it just kept getting better as it went along. By the end of it, he just threw it in our faces. It was just mind-blowing to watch. We all stood up immediately and gave him a standing ovation. And we knew at that moment, he was throwing a gauntlet at us and said, 'How dare you if you don't take me this year. This is everything I got.' And it was spectacular."

"I will always remember him in that moment because dancers don't have that moment all the time in their career. It's actually rare to see someone witness greatness and be at the top of their game in a moment in time, and to mean so much," she adds. "And that it was life changing at that moment, because from that moment on is when he really started to soar."

Murphy also says she wishes she could share one more conversation with Boss to tell him "you have brought me joy and laughter into my life, and I love you."

FOX via Getty Images Stephen "tWitch" Boss

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Earlier on Wednesday, Murphy reacted to the news in a statement to PEOPLE, where she shared that she was "so deeply saddened" by the news of Boss' death.

"My soul is crying and aches on a cellular level," she said. "He was hungry, eager, and willing to do the work that would lift him in spirit and means. The first time I met tWitch there was something about him. I call it twinkle eye because his eyes shined so much. His smile lit up the stage every time he stepped foot on it!"

"tWitch was an inspiration to millions with his work ethic and determination and showed many young children that no matter what your circumstances are you can make it if you work hard!" she added.

Momodu Mansaray/Getty Stephen 'tWitch' Boss and his wife Allison

Boss died by suicide at the age of 40. His wife Allison shared a statement with PEOPLE, in which she remembered him as someone who "lit up every room he stepped into."

"He valued family, friends and community above all else and leading with love and light was everything to him. He was the backbone of our family, the best husband and father, and an inspiration to his fans," Allison, 34, said. "To say he left a legacy would be an understatement, and his positive impact will continue to be felt. I am certain there won't be a day that goes by that we won't honor his memory."

RELATED: Allison Holker Called Stephen 'tWitch' Boss the 'Anchor' of Their Family: 'Very Blessed'

In addition to Allison, Boss is survived by children Zaia, 3, Maddox, 6, and Weslie, 14.

Following a successful run on competition shows like SYTYCD, Boss landed a gig as a guest DJ on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in 2014. He later became a permanent fixture on the series and eventually was named a co-executive producer for the series.

Offscreen, Boss frequently posted fun dance videos with wife Allison on social media. Their kids would often join the pair in their dance video posts.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.