Survivor 43 recap: Ryan makes a fatal (and foolish) mistake
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They never learn. Old school Survivor. New school Survivor. Either way, the song remains the same. And it doesn't matter how many hourglasses you smash. Some things — and people — are incapable of change.
I've been writing about Survivor for 43 seasons now, so it is inevitable to have bouts of déjà vu as I watch and then opine about the show. You can add all the Fire Tokens and Medallions of Power and Tyler Perry Idols that you want, but as long as you have human beings playing a strategic game, they are going to do dumb things. And one of the dumbest has to be throwing a challenge. We already have been presented with exhibits A through Z over the years of why this is such a terrible idea. And yet, in spite of overwhelming evidence against the move, people still do it! They think they're infallible. They think they're invincible. They think that even though they have seen it happen a million times before on their TV set that it won't happen to them, because they are so special. And then it does.
The latest victim of this unwarranted hubris was Ryan, who intentionally threw this week's immunity challenge. "I know that when Jeff says 'The fifth person going home on Survivor 43,' it's gonna be Cassidy," Ryan told us, with a stupid, silly grin plastered on his face. What's so shocking about players continuing to intentionally lose challenges in this modern era of Survivor is that they know we are playing in an age of a new idol or advantage being unleashed approximately every 7.3 minutes of the game. So even if you were actually correct that you had the numbers (which Ryan was not), how and why on Earth would you risk it that the other person or side would not have a get-out-of-jail-free card to completely flip the script? That's lunacy!
And think about this: When Ryan threw the challenge, he had no idea whom Vesi was going to send on the journey. What if they sent Cassidy? And what if she got an idol? WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT RISK?!? Actually, on second thought, don't think about it. Because I'm thinking about it and it is making me really, really angry. Did you see the all-caps I just busted out? That should have been your second warning. The first warning is that I was even talking about throwing challenges, because you know how angry it makes me.
How many years have I been yelling out this stuff… seemingly into a void? And yet these people never listen, and they never learn. "If this plays out, I'm going to have some ink on my Survivor résumé," boasted Ryan. "And that's what I want." Well, you got it buddy. And you're just lucky the Survivor Gods still had braggy Geo to deal with from last week, which I am convinced is the only reason Ryan did not see his torch snuffed here. "Hopefully this follows me outside the game," he said of his big move. WISH GRANTED!
Okay, let's see what else went down on episode 5 of Survivor 43.
Robert Voets/CBS Jeff Probst on 'Survivor 43'
Beading a Dead Horse
Well, Baka finally found their Beware Advantage. They found theirs after Vesi, and after Coco, and after a tribe full of 500,000 ants. Jeanine was the lucky recipient this time, and once again had to convince all of her tribemates to give her special beads to make an immunity bracelet. I'll repeat my mild grousing from last week that I think each camp should have had a different mission because while watching each of these segments was entertaining enough, they also became a case of diminishing returns.
I think of it as like a joke or a movie sequel: It is rarely as funny or fresh as the first time you tell it or see it. Don't believe me? Name a comedy sequel that was better than the original. Go ahead, I'll wait……………… It can't be done. The closest you can come is Christmas Vacation, but that was not even a direct sequel in that not only did you have to sit through the absolute stinker that was European Vacation to get to it, but that specific film franchise completely disrupted the space-time continuum by somehow magically de-aging both the Griswold and Cousin Eddie kids for the third film.
And for those of you saying it would not be fair to have different missions for different tribes because some tasks may be easier or harder than the others, respectfully… what are you talking about?!? Different advantages are given out all the time. Plus, did we not all see Island of the Idols, in which Boston Rob and Sandra gave out completely different tests every single week? Anyway, I'm not saying these reruns were bad. I'm just saying they could have been even better had they been something new instead of been there, seen that.
In this instance, Jeanine and Elie decided not to tell Owen… who, in a fortuitous bit of timing, happened to be turning the corner at that exact moment, forcing their hand. They then told Sami because Survivor players are incapable of keeping anything to themselves. Luckily for them, Sami did not have time to warn Gabler not to give away his bead, informing him after the fact — making this yet another secret idol that is not so secret.
Robert Voets/CBS Jeanine Zheng and Elie Scott on 'Survivor 43'
Challenging Themselves
Even though Ryan literally slowed his roll by throwing the immunity challenge, it's still worth taking note of this particular contest, which had teams tied together, going over obstacles, filling a bucket with water, and transferring it over a giant teeter-tooter to open a gate and then rolling three balls up a ramp to land on a small platform.
We've definitely seen most of these elements before in challenges of yesteryear, but at least the producers are throwing in some new wrinkles (like last week's having to walk across sand on two boxes and this week's branch obstacle). Survivor has created some absolutely amazing challenges over the years, but like with other aspects of the show, the challenges need to change and evolve to continue to feel fresh. So far, so good. The rest test will come post-merge. Will we once again have to watch week after week of players standing in a row next to each other balancing on object for as long as possible? Here's hoping they get the contestants out and about and moving more than they did in the very stationary post-merge seasons 41 and 42. Here's also hoping someone wins a boat reward with Cochran, just to watch how amazingly awkward that would be.
Robert Voets/CBS Sami Layadi and Mike Gabler on 'Survivor 43'
Should Journeys go Separate Ways (Get It?)
I've never been a huge fun of the "journeys," and I don't really know why. On paper, it seems like a great idea. You have some pre-merge inter-tribe interactions, potentially laying the groundwork for post-merge intrigue. You force players to make difficult decisions and live with potential consequences. And if Survivor is going to continue to throw 10 million advantages and idols into the game, this is a more interesting was of doing it then simply having everything hidden out in the woods. I dig all of that. So why do I find them kind of ho-hum?
To be clear, I don't hate them. I don't think they drag the show down or compromise the integrity of the game. But they don't exactly get my juices flowing either. Maybe it's just the overkill factor. We're on season 3 of these journeys at this point, and even though they changed the format of them for this year, this is probably the type of thing that would work better to just happen once a season as opposed to every single week.
On the other hand, we did get to see both Geo and Jesse wipe out while stepping off the boat this week, so I suppose it was worth it after all. You know what? Ignore everything else I wrote in those previous two paragraphs. That's all a bunch of poppycock. As long as people are falling flat on their ass, I am good with everything. Hell, you could even bring back the Hourglass twist as long as the person faceplants while smashing it. Edge of Extinction? Sure! Just as long as you conceal hidden holes all over the sand that people will walk over and fall into. Turn the whole show into one big gigantic episode of America's Funniest Home Videos for all I care. Bottom line: People falling down is funny. And if the "journeys" increase the odds of folks face or butt-planting on land or at sea, then by all means, bring it on.
Robert Voets/CBS Ryan Medrano and Geo Bustamante on 'Survivor 43'
The Survivor Gods Strike Back
Did you read my recap last week? No? Well, that's a bit of a blow to ol' ego, but fine. I guess you had something better to do. In fairness, the list of things better to do than reading a recap of a reality television show is as long as Karla's list of favorite Xena episodes. And last week's recap was an even bigger waste of time than normal because I led the thing off with some long tangent (SURPIRSE!) about how shocked I was that the Survivor Gods did not strike Geo down on day 9 of the game for talking about how excited he was to go to Tribal Council. Well, turns out they just waited two days to get the deed done.
Geo thought he was living large, going off on his journey and getting himself a Knowledge is Power advantage after all three players risked their vote but he picked the right pouch. (By the way, for some real fun, go back and watch Sami's reaction when Jeanine announces she lost her vote. He starts excidedly tapping Owen's leg right in front of everybody, showing an unreserved joy he usually displays only when cremating a family pet or enjoying the animatronic stylings of Chuck E. Cheese.)
"Tonight, it's gonna be pretty easy," Geo told us, causing great confusion among the Survivor Gods whether to strike him down for repeated insubordination or to take out Ryan for committing the ultimate cardinal sin. While the Gods debated their decision, so did Karla, James, and Cassidy. Sure, there was a little red herring thrown in when Cassidy tried on her limited edition Lindsay Carmine Halloween costume, but it looked pretty sure that either Ryan or Geo was a goner.
But really, how could the tribe possibly get rid of Ryan? After all, he's just a giver! He's always been a giver! He's the kind of guy that would just flash them a smile if they voted him out. No hate. No muss. No fuss. He's a dude who kills with kindness, only instead of killing, it's more like wrapping someone up in a nice warm blanket (or, if your name is Gabler, a nice warm palm frond).
Of course, Coco could not take a living and breathing saint like that out. And they didn't. Instead, they eliminated Geo, a decision that was cemented when he told Karla about his Knowledge is Power advantage, which was a terrific move on Geo's part if ever I saw one, because telling people about your advantages and idols is always a terrific move. Almost as terrific as throwing a challenge.
Oh, snap! Did you see what I did there? That's called coming full circle, bitches! Started off with the challenge-throwing and then worked my way back to it at the end like a total boss. Nothing can stop me now! I may as well throw every recap from here on out. What could possibly go wrong?!? While we ponder that, let me tell you about all the things can still go right. Make sure to check out our exclusive deleted scene from this week's episode. And I chatted with Geo himself, so make sure to either read or watch that interview. You actually don't have to choose. You can read and watch it for all I care. The point is, you have options. And I promise not to take away your vote if you choose wrong.
Go ahead and follow me on Twitter @DaltonRoss for alerts as to when all my Survivor coverage drops, and in the meantime, I'm off to prepare next week's scoop of the crispy.
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