Super Bowl 2023 commercials: Reviews for every Big Game ad

The Super Bowl, as everyone knows, is the Super Bowl of football. But it's also the Super Bowl of commercials. Companies pay big bucks (this year: $6 million to $7 million for 30 seconds of ad time) for a prime time spot during the biggest TV night of the year so they can wow the world with this year's version of the Budweiser frogs or the E*Trade baby.

As we have for over a decade now, Yahoo Sports is reviewing every single national commercial that airs during the big game. And here we go ...

Air: Trailer

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are together again, telling the story that “Last Dance” just didn’t have time to get to: Nike and the Jordan shoe. Affleck is behind the camera for the first time since 2016, and it’s usually magic when he and Damon team up. (Hey, give “The Last Duel” a chance!) (A)

Amazon

A dog gets a little sibling and stops tearing up the house when the kids leave for school. For a second it seemed like this ad was going to take a sharp turn toward something sad, but thankfully we got heartwarming instead. More commercials with happy dogs! (B)

Avocados From Mexico, "Make It Better"

If you're of a mind to get offended by Biblical reimaginings or nudity, this'll do it for you: an imagined world where avocados wipe away the shame of Adam and Eve. Some careful cuts keep everyone's dignity as intact as it can be. Pass the guac! (B-)

Bic, "Most Borrowed Lighter"

Protect Willie Nelson at all costs. He can steal anything from anywhere, or anyone, he wants. Even from Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart. And come on, what is Snoop doing calling Willie Nelson over a missing lighter? Martha Stewart almost certainly has an entire room in her home dedicated to scented candles. Leave Willie alone! (A)

Blue Moon, “Coors Light/Miller Lite/?”

Beer advertisers generally don’t want to market their product as inciting violence, but if it’s violence this artistic, maybe they should. The swerve to Blue Moon was an interesting choice. (B)

Booking.com, "Somewhere, Anywhere"

Why does Melissa McCarthy's husband (Ben Falcone) have to be in every single thing she does? Seriously, I'm asking. (D+)

Bud Light, "Hold"

Take one bankable star (Miles Teller) and one relatable situation (being stuck on hold with icy music) and ... well, that's about it, really. Inoffensive and lukewarm, and would be a lot funnier if we all weren't already dancing to hold music already. (We all do, right? Right ... ?) (C)

Busch, "Shelter"

Here's the thing: no human on earth holds a can the way actors do in ads, barely encircling the bottom of it to ensure that the logo is clearly visible. So it's always strange to see it in commercials, like watching a dog play the piano ... or, in this case, Sarah McLachlan cozy up to a wolf. (C-)

Crowdstrike, “Trojan Horse”

How would world history have changed had just one Trojan warrior thought to peek inside the big ol’ gift horse right outside the gates? Alas, there wasn’t a Crowdstrike consultant there to warn them off. Nice bit of editing to cut away right before the Greeks meet their bloody doom. (B)

Crown Royal, "Thank You"

Dave Grohl, effortlessly cool, gives us so many good reasons to thank Canada, from rock stars to peanut butter to ... football? Huh. Who knew? (B)

Dexcom, "Feels Like Magic"

Even grading on a "Jonas brother sells you astonishing diabetes tech" curve, there's just not much here. Sorry, Dexcom, you need more than Nick (or Joe? Or wait is that Kevin?) Jonas standing in a room to make a good Super Bowl ad. (F)

Doritos, "Jack's New Angle"

Admit it: you know you could play the triangle in any symphony orchestra ever. Jack Harlow raises the humble triangle to mighty heights here, with the usual Super Bowl collage of "news breaks" reacting to this "bold new direction," plus the requisite last-second celebrity cameo. Try not to think about the fact that the celebrity, who has no lines at all, still probably got paid in houses. (B)

Dunkin’: “Live Your Best Life”

You can take the boy out of Boston, but you take the Dunkin’ out of the boy. Hearing horns blaring as actual Dunkin’ customers try to get selfies with self-professed Dunkin’ obsessive Ben Affleck is just so New England. It doesn’t matter if an Oscar winner is serving you an iced coffee, get moving! The best commercials are true to life, after all. (B)

Downy, "Call Me Downy McBride"

No disrespect to Danny McBride's face, which is perfectly normal, but don't you wish he'd done the entire commercial with the shirt over his head? Covered or bare, McBride (and his face) is funny, and he really brings it to this ad. He's a dude spreading the gospel of Downy, and McBride makes that more entertaining than it has any right to be. (B)

DoorDash, "We Get Groceries"

Celebrity chefs hit the grocery store in an ad that contains everything from an awkward Wu-Tang reference to the instantly immortal line "You gotta smell the butt to see if it's fresh." Delivers what it's supposed to, which is a good thing when you're talking about a meal delivery service. (A-)

DraftKings, "Everyone Gets a Free Bet"

If you own a TV, Kevin Hart has practically been living in your home for months now as the pitchman for DraftKings. His commercials are on so often that you are probably hearing "Touchdown — nah, interception" in your sleep. In this ad he's surrounded by titans of sport, doing nothing but annoying them. If the Undertaker had given Hart a Tombstone Piledriver, or if Lisa Leslie had slapped him, this commercial would have gotten an automatic A. Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in. (C)

E*TRADE, "Baby Wedding"

Hey, you know what? Babies getting married is creepy, even when it's the adult-voiced E*TRADE baby. In fact, it's even creepier with the adult voice! But that blonde baby speaks for all of us: no one gets the metaverse. (D)

FanDuel, “Gronk’s Live Kick”

Well … that was disappointing. After weeks of buildup, Rob Gronkowski attempted a field goal “live” … and missed? Whole lot of ways they could have “proven” it was live, but nope. Underwhelming. (D)

Farmer's Dog, "Forever"

OH COME ON. This is emotional blackmail. A young girl gets a little puppy dog, says "I'll always take care of you," and then we follow her and the ever-loyal dog through her life as she grows up and has a family of her own. Heartbreaking. Manipulative. Perfect. (A)

Fast X: Trailer

Cars. Speed. Family. Famous cameos from past movies. One-liners that sound awkward as hell coming out of anyone but Vin Diesel’s mouth. You know by now exactly what you’re getting from a “Fast & Furious” movie franchise installment. This is less an advertisement and more a Google Calendar invite. You already know if you’re going to watch this movie, and you probably already can guess exactly how it’s going to go, too. (B)

The Flash: Trailer

Trying to figure out the logistics of the DC superhero universe – which includes Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Flash – is more complicated than dissecting the Kansas City Chiefs’ playbook. If you know the lingo, this is an exciting trailer. If not, you’re going to recognize a few faces but are surely wondering what exactly is going on with all the running and the lightning. (A if you’re a DC fan, C- if you have no idea what’s happening here)

General Motors/Netflix, "Why Not an EV?"

Hey, let's put Will Farrell in Netflix shows! That's the only thing anyone will remember about this commercial. Will Ferrell in "Squid Game." Will Ferrell in "Stranger Things." Some of these Netflix scenes don't even involve cars! Which is what this ad is apparently selling? No, that can't be right. I'm pretty sure it's an ad about Will Ferrell in the new season of "Bridgerton," a show that takes place before the invention of cars. (C)

Google Pixel, "It's Time to Fix Them"

Just market this feature as the "getting rid of your ex" feature. Yeah, you could use it to get rid of other things in the background of your photos, like random dogs or annoying younger siblings or drunk people throwing up in the street, but former relationships haunting your attractive photos is a silent epidemic the world has ignored until now. (B-)

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3: Trailer

Marvel movies have been in a bit of a lull lately, but this one could be a gem. As always, it’s save-the-universe stuff set to classic pop music. Throw in a few references to family, some clear this-is-the-end vibes and the jokey kicker, and you’ve got your basic classic Marvel movie trailer. Looks great, even if we’ve seen this kind of thing many times before. (B+)

Heineken, “No Drinking Before Shrinking”

The upcoming Ant-Man movie better feature a whole lot of drunk ants, is all we’re saying. (B-)

Hellmann's, "Who's in the Fridge?"

Please, do not put mayonnaise on a ham and brie sandwich. Not even if Pete Davidson, Jon Hamm, and Brie Larson are telling you to. Use Dijon mustard. It's so much better, and presumably you won't have to worry about tiny actors with food names taking up residence in your fridge. (B)

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny: Trailer

If the sound of Harrison Ford’s voice and John Williams’ iconic theme don’t get you excited about the new Indiana Jones movie, this trailer should. There’s nothing like seeing Indy bounding around and chasing Nazis, even with a full head of gray hair. Iconic. (A)

Jeep, "Electric Boogie"

Is this a commercial for a car or for cute dancing animals? Because if it's for the animals, the waiting list for those adorable owls will be five years long. And who wouldn't want an ostrich to run beside their doorless car? (C)

Jesus, "He Gets Us"

Nnnnnope. Not touching it. Grade this one yourself.

Limit Break

If you’re still somehow interested in NFTs, Limit Break is giving out a whole lot of them to promote their new game, ​​DigiDaigaku. If you had trouble figuring out what anything in that commercial was about, don’t worry. You’re not their target audience. (D)

Kia, "Binky Dad"

It's every parent's worst nightmare: forgetting the baby's favorite binky. The Kia lets this hapless dad race back home — via a route that apparently includes the L.A. riverbed and a football field — only to find ... well, if you're shocked at what happens at the end, you must be roughly the same age as the baby. (B)

M&M’s, “Clam Bites”

We’re not going to re-litigate the whole “replacing M&M’s mascots” debate here, we’ll just say that clam-flavored candy is the proper treat for people who complain about M&M mascots. Also, Maya Rudolph rules. (A-)

Michelob Ultra, "New Members Day"

Another of the classic "here's something you old people will remember!" ads, this one leans hard on "Caddyshack," with Logan Roy (Brian Cox) challenging Serena Williams as some familiar faces, old and new, look on. Nary an f-bomb is dropped, alas, but it's still the pleasant kind of "hey, I recognize that reference" Super Bowl ad. (B+)

Michelob Ultra/Netflix, "Full Swing Gossip"

Part of the Michelob Cinematic Universe with "New Members Day," this one gives viewers an early look at the upcoming Netflix golf documentary "Full Swing." (It's "Drive to Survive" with golf clubs. It's good.) Kind of cruel making Rickie Fowler watch it, though. (B)

Oikos, "Sanders Family Reunion"

The Sanders family appears to be so large that their yearly Oikos consumption could likely keep the company afloat for years to come. They seem fun enough to have their own reality show, until you remember they already did back in 2014. It was never technically cancelled, though... (C)

Paramount+, "Stallone Face"

Stallone Face is just inherently interesting. Even before the plastic surgery, there was no one with a face like his. So hear out this idea: A "Legends of the Hidden Temple" reboot, but with Stallone Face instead of Olmec. Who says no?! Oh wait, *everyone* says no? Oh. Fine then. (B)

Paramount Pictures, "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves"

Axes! Punching! Beards! Light-up helmets! Bows and arrows! Chris Pine! Magic! Dragons, maybe! A giant owl, for some reason! If you like those things, this movie could be for you. And before you ask, yes that was Hugh Grant. (C)

Paramount Pictures, "Scream VI"

All you parents who call the FCC to complain about gyrating halftime show dancers being inappropriate for your kids better be on the phone pronto after this one, because a knife-wielding nightmare ghost sending blood onto walls in spatters is probably going to keep your kids up Sunday night a lot more than some wiggling butts. Anyway, this looks pretty solid, if you're into the "Scream" franchise, and it's a good reminder not to use ladders to crawl between buildings. (A-)

Peacock, "Charlie Calls Bull"

An ad for the very fun Peacock show "Poker Face" which somehow is much less fun than the actual show itself. The references in this particular ad aren't nearly clever enough, but don't let that stop you from watching the show, which is quite good. (C)

Pepsi Zero Sugar, “Great Acting Or Great Taste?”

Ben Stiller runs through – stop us if you’ve heard this before – a whole bunch of familiar references, including a good ol’ Zoolander Blue Steel, as viewers must decide whether Stiller actually likes Pepsi or if he’s just acting. “Maybe I like this and maybe I don’t” might not be the best message for your product, but if you’re dropping a few mil for a few seconds, you can do whatever you want. [The Steve Martin variant ad: same premise, same questions about that premise.] (C)

Planters, "The Roast of Mr. Peanut"

The full roast isn't live yet, but this one's pretty G-rated. A real roast draws blood — or, in this case, peanut oil? — so we'll see if the professional roasters who got the call to be in this commercial can bring the heat. (B-)

Popcorners, "Breaking Good"

Admit it: when you heard Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul were doing a "Breaking Bad" reunion in a Popcorners commercial, you were skeptical. But it's actually pretty clever! They pretty much just replaced every mention of drugs with "Popcorners." They barely had to change any of the other dialogue. That's kind of weird, right? That they barely had to change anything in a scene about selling crystal meth to make it about selling snack food? Eh, probably meaningless. (B)

Popeyes, "From Memes to Dreams"

Do you remember the Popeyes Meme Kid from way back when? His name is Dieunerst Collin, and he's now a Paul Bunyan-sized college football player. And because it made perfect sense, Popeyes signed him to an NIL deal and put him in this commercial. Sometimes, everything comes full circle and life just makes sense. (B)

Pringles, "Best of Us"

This ad features a sonogram image of a fetus with a Pringles can stuck on its hand. If someone on the Pringles ad team won a bet by doing that, congratulations. You're a legend now. (A)

Rakuten, "Not So Clueless"

Rakuten brought back the ageless Alicia Silverstone (seriously, she has barely aged a day) to reprise her role as Cher in the iconic movie "Clueless." We see her famous closet! Her white Jeep! Her cute outfits! "Alright" by Supergrass (from the original soundtrack) plays in the background! Unfortunately they didn't bring back Jeremy Sisto or Breckin Meyer to sit in the classroom, but you can't have everything. (A)

Ram Trucks, "Premature Electrification"

If you make an ad that would be right at home during 1990s SNL or "The Daily Show" in the late 2000s, you've done pretty well. Jason Jones has this special ability to make stupid things sound serious and therefore even stupider, and it's perfect for the concept of "premature electrification." (B+)

Remy Martin: “Inch By Inch”

Serena Williams in her second Super Bowl ad of the night (and counting). Demanding that extra inch out of everyone around her is motivational. It would’ve been a hell of a lot more motivational if it wasn’t taken almost verbatim from Al Pacino’s classic “Any Given Sunday” speech. Super Bowl ads are all about playing on familiarity, but come on. (C)

Sam Adams, "Your Cousin's Brighter Boston"

This ad was filmed in Boston, and it remains incredible that the living, breathing organism that is the city of Boston didn't gobble up the entire crew and spit them out in Worcester. To even imply that Boston could be that kind of welcoming, gentle city is an affront to the angry, angry citizens of Beantown, a city nickname that Bostonians hate. If you want that kind of city, get yourself to the south or midwest. This is New England. Your survival is not guaranteed. (B)

Skechers, "All Walks of Life"

Snoop Dogg as President Skechers is great, because Snoop is great. That's kind of the secret to Super Bowl ads: get Snoop Dogg. (B)

SquareSpace, "The Singularity"

An infinite number of Adam Drivers think it's pretty trippy that SquareSpace is a website that makes websites. Except it's not all that mind bending. It's a website that makes websites. We're used to that now, right? It's not like the first time we all saw an iPhone in 2007, or if we brought Thomas Jefferson back from the dead and showed him a laptop. It's normal. Though I'm pretty sure a number of people out there want to know how we can make that multiple Adam Drivers thing a reality. Get back to us, SquareSpace. (C)

Temu, “Shop Like a Billionaire”

Do you know what Temu is? I think it’s a shopping service, but the only thing that really stood out in that ad was the color yellow. Or was it orange? No but seriously what is Temu? If you know, you’re on the bleeding edge of shopping, because it really seems like they want to keep it a secret. (F)

T-Mobile, "The Re-Write"

Famous Philadelphia Eagles fan and Philly native Bradley Cooper tries to do a T-Mobile commercial with his mom Gloria, and if you've ever spent any time with a Philly mom, you know why they wanted to put the two of them on film. She calls her son a flamingo for wearing the pink T-Mobile employee shirt. She reminds him that he's never won one of the nine major awards he's been nominated for. And they laugh and laugh and laugh. It's genuinely adorable. (A)

T-Mobile Home Internet, "New Year, New Neighbor"

John Travolta, who was also in a Super Bowl ad last year, joins former "Scrubs" co-stars Zach Braff and Donald Faison to sing about home internet. Travolta may be bald now, but he's got a beard, his voice remains great, and he still looks fiiiiine in a leather jacket. (A)

Tubi, “Rabbit Holes”

Much like Wikipedia, you can fall down a rabbit hole and lose hours to a show you never knew existed. The original “Perry Mason.” A British show about people trying to pull off incredible home builds. Movies you’ve never heard of could instantly become your favorite. It’s definitely more fun than falling in a Wikipedia rabbit hole about serial killers or mass extinction events. (C)

TurboTax, "Don't Do Your Taxes"

"Dance like no one's watching" becomes "dance like someone else is doing your taxes." That's the "live, laugh, love" slogan on the wall of every accountant's home. (C)

UberEats, "One Hit for Uber One"

It's hard to beat an entire commercial with fake jingles, but Diddy manages to do it. The weird, strained smile he gives after his manager says "Diddy is excited" is the best acting work he's ever done, full stop. (A)

WeatherTech, "We All Win"

This year, Super Bowl mainstay WeatherTech is highlighting that all their products are made in America. Like all of their commercials, they're pretty straightforward, but that's what WeatherTech is known for. If you're known as a trustworthy company that makes quality products, you don't need much more than the facts to sell 'em. (B)

Workday, "Rock Star"

Workday accidentally made a commercial for good old fashioned rock-and-roll instead of one about its own products and services. But considering that Workday's business is system software solutions, it was probably much easier (not to mention more exciting) to pay legendary rock stars Ozzy Osbourne, Billy Idol, Joan Jett, and Kiss guitarist Paul Stanley to make fun of office culture. (B)