Succession : We grade the eulogies given at Logan Roy's funeral
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WARNING: This story contains spoilers for Succession season 4, episode 9, "Church and State."
"Please be seated for a word from those who knew and loved Logan best," announced the officiant at the funeral for deceased media magnate Logan Roy, roughly midway through Sunday's penultimate episode of Succession. In fact, many words would be spoken about Brian Cox's character before the service was over, some in praise of Logan, some not so much.
Alas, we'll likely never get to hear the eulogy Connor Roy planned to make, a speech his new wife Willa (Justine Lupe) described as "formally inventive" but which his sister Shiv (Sarah Snook) banned Alan Ruck's character from delivering on the grounds it would "leave us open to legal action."
But how good, bad, moving, entertaining, and/or actually completed were the eulogies that the gathered throng did hear? We grade the gabbing below.
Ewan Roy
Logan's estranged older brother, portrayed by the always great James Cromwell, was not scheduled to speak at the funeral. However, Ewan managed to evade the clutches of the hapless Greg (Nicholas Braun), who had been tasked by Roman (Kieran Culkin) to make sure his grandfather did not cause a scene, and gave the first eulogy.
With Logan in his coffin, and just one more episode of Succession to go, Ewan finally offered some details about his brother's early years and the terrible events which may have inspired both the Waystar Royco founder's ambition and his cold-heartedness. Ewan described how he and his brother had traveled from Britain to America during World War II to stay with their aunt and uncle and how their ship's engines had failed during the crossing. "They told us children that if we spoke, or coughed, or moved an inch, that the U-boats would catch the vibrations through the hull, and we would die in the drink, right there in the hold," Ewan chillingly recalled. "Three nights, and two days, we stayed quiet, a four-year-old and a five-and-a-half-year-old, speaking with our eyes."
Cromwell's character went on to recall how their uncle sent Logan away to school, which he hated, and eventually left, rejoining Ewan, who had now been joined by the brothers' not-long-for-this-world baby sister. "He always believed that he brought home the polio with him, which took her," said Ewan. "I don't even know if that's true, but our aunt and uncle certainly did nothing to disabuse him of that notion. They let it lie with him."
Ewan followed these fascinating and revealing anecdotes with exactly the kind of pointed tirade about his brother which Kendall (Jeremy Strong), Roman, and Shiv had feared he might embark on. If wildly inappropriate to proceedings, the result made for fabulous viewing.
"He was mean, and he made but a mean estimation of the world," Ewan concluded. "And he fed a certain kind of meagerness in men. Perhaps he had to, because he had a meagerness about him. And maybe I do about me too. I don't know. I try. I try. I don't know when, but sometime he decided not to try anymore and it was a terrible shame. Godspeed, my brother, and god bless."
Grade: A-
Roman Roy
At the start of the episode we saw Culkin's character in his New York apartment confidently running through the eulogy he planned to give his father, which Roman hoped would help burnish his own reputation in the business world. Called on the phone by Kendall, he declared himself to be "excited" about the prospect of addressing the congregation.
At the church, Roman even joked that he might "hit on Marsha" on the way to starting his eulogy. But Ewan's speech clearly affected him and, faced by the sight of Logan's coffin, Roman fell apart. Culkin's character only managed to get out a few faltering words before signaling to his siblings that he needed assistance and was led back to his seat in tears. While you'd need the hardest of hearts not to feel sorry for him, the eulogy certainly failed to advance the corporate cause of Roman, who would be greeted at Logan's by presidential candidate Jeryd Mencken (Justin Kirk) with the words "Hey, hey, hey, it's the Grim Weeper, Tiny Tears!" At the same event, Waystar Royco executive Karl Muller (David Rasche) would describe a recording of Roman's crying as sounding "like a sow that's about to get the stun gun and knows it." Yeesh!
Grade: F
Kendall Roy
Unexpectedly faced with the task of salvaging his father's reputation, and the opportunity to further his own ambitions, Strong's character began by agreeing with some of Ewan's criticisms concerning Cox's character. "My father was a brute," Kendall told the crowd.
The Waystar Royco co-CEO went on to describe his father's achievements as a businessman while framing himself as the best person to lead the company forward.
"Yes, he had a terrible force to him, and a fierce ambition, that could push you to the side," Kendall said. "But it was only that human thing, the will to be, and to be seen, and to do. And now people might want to tend and prune the memory of him, to denigrate that force, that magnificent awful force of him, but, my god, I hope it's in me. Because if we can't match his vim, then god knows the future will be sluggish and grey."
If the eulogy was cynical it was also, in some ways, heartfelt and its conclusion was followed by applause — though notably not from Ewan.
Grade: B+
Shiv Roy
The final eulogy came from Logan's sole daughter who, after reassuring the congregation that "we'll be done soon, sorry," recalled how she and her siblings would play outside their father's office.
"He would come out, and he was so terrifying," Shiv recalled, which probably isn't something anyone would want someone to say about them at their funeral.
"He kept us outside," Shiv continued, speaking metaphorically, "but he kept everyone outside. When he let you in, when the sun shone, it was warm, yeah, it was really warm in the light. But it was hard to be his daughter. He was hard on women. He couldn't fit a whole woman in his head. But he did okay. You did okay, dad."
"So goodbye, my dear, dear world of a father," Shiv said, concluding both her emotional eulogy and the show's ecumenical speechifying.
Grade: B
The Succession series finale airs Sunday, May 28, at 9 p.m. ET/PT.
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