Stephen Colbert and More Salivate Over Reports of Grand Jury in Trump-Russia Probe: 'God, I Wish I Had Jury Duty!'
Maybe it really is a privilege to perform jury duty.
Late night hosts and social media users alike were enthused over news that special counsel Robert Mueller has reportedly convened a grand jury in his investigation into Russian collusion in the 2016 presidential election.
While the impaneling of a grand jury does not necessarily mean that Mueller will ultimately seek any indictments, it does allow prosecutors to issue subpoenas for important documents and evidence from President Donald Trump and his team.
Regardless, TV personalities like Stephen Colbert couldn’t help but speculate.
“I’m going to say something right now nobody has ever said before: God, I wish I had jury duty,” joked Colbert on The Late Show. “I’m available. But really, how are they ever going to find unbiased people to serve on this jury?”
Seth Meyers responded to the reports by quoting “one guy” – alongside a photo of Vice President Mike Pence – “Great, what else do you need? Printer paper, calculators? Help me, help you.”
In his segment “A Closer Look,” Meyers continued, “Trump’s probably excited because he thinks a grand jury is just a fancier jury.”
He imitated the president, joking, “So beautiful, not like one of those dump juries. Beautiful gold, 12 chandeliers.”
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah said, “It’s about to go down.”
He then teased “live footage” of Trump reacting to the news, before cutting to a clip of O.J. Simpson’s infamous white Bronco car chase.
Tonight at 11/10c, Trevor reacts to the news of Robert Mueller's investigation growing deeper. pic.twitter.com/64DSxABLu4
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) August 4, 2017
“Oh man, today must suck for Donald Trump,” said Noah. “I just hope that if the police ever do arrest him they protect his head when they put him into the car.”
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On Twitter, stars and Internet users shared their opinions – including George Takei, who posted his thoughts through a haiku.
Things just went south in a hurry
Now that they've sat a grand jury
Subpoenas galore
I've popcorn. Want more?
As karma unleashes its fury.— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) August 4, 2017
"What is a Grand Jury?" are the most googled words today, surpassing yesterday's most googled words "Is Stephen Miller a hardboiled egg?"
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) August 3, 2017
This is gonna be an amazing grand jury, believe me. You're gonna be so sick of how grand this jury is. It's gonna be a yuge grand jury.
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) August 3, 2017
CNN: Grand Jury
MSNBC: Grand Jury
Fox News: Is zebras a kind of horse?— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) August 3, 2017
so many kids are gonna be named grand jury in nine months
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) August 4, 2017
Wrote comedian George Wallace, “This is gonna be an amazing grand jury, believe me. You’re gonna be so sick of how grand this jury is. It’s gonna be a yuge grand jury.”